Mirror Personality

Do you guys also mirror a person personality back to them taking on their likes and dislikes when having a conversation? This tactic works successfully when befriending people of course because who does a person naturally like the most? Himself. My problem with this or just having a regular conversation is I just have nothing to say. I want to say something and carry on or start a conversation, but I just dont have anything to say. That is what I hate most about being avoidant.

I don't know if this counts, but when talking to different people online I kind of adjust my sense of humour and it works well

Jay Walk wrote:Do you guys also mirror a person personality back to them taking on their likes and dislikes when having a conversation? This tactic works successfully when befriending people of course because who does a person naturally like the most? Himself.

Yes, in the past I did this almost automatically and I never liked the way it felt. But it definitely works for temporary or surface level relationships. The problem comes when they ask you out and you realize you will have to keep faking it forever or until you can get away from them. Maybe it isn't just that they like themselves most but that they trust you more if you seem to be like them? You're an ally.

The other trick that works really well is to learn how to fake a "glad to see you smile" when first laying eyes on someone. Not over the top glad to see them, just a pleasant smile with eyebrows raised that you can imagine having for someone you really DO like. Watch other people's faces as they greet someone they like. Copy that. Takes practice. Use the mirror. Works like a charm. Also backfires in the same way as above when they want to move the relationship to a more personal level. So be careful.

I do this. I worried for a while it was a cluster B type symptom, but I think I only do it to reduce awkwardness and avoid rejection of my "real self," not for any reason of manipulation or idealization or anything like that.

I do this to practically everyone I talk to, including family. It works well.

Not really, or if I do then it is subconsciously.

I do act differently with different people, for example, parents, friends, strangers, kids, etc.

However, for me, adapting to social situations takes time so if I do 'mirror a personality' then it is a learned behaviour.

I don't really have a "real" me. It isn't like I talk to everyone one way, and to a certain person a different way. I'm always adjusting my speech for different people.

Yes I do mirror other peoples' personalities.
Sometimes I do it without noticing though. I also act one way with certain people and another with other people.
Not sure if it's a normal thing or just something weird not many people do.

I don't know if I mirror personalities, but I'm sometimes surprised at how quickly I adopt other people's speech. I rarely swear, but when talking to somebody who curses a lot, I automatically start adding swear words into my sentences. (Perhaps trying to build familiarity or to accommodate them?) When talking to foreigners, I've often caught myself adopting their accent and/or making my words sound stilted, which confuses any other locals who may be listening.

I suppose I could have saved a paragraph and just re-posted this:

shnbwmn wrote: I'm always adjusting my speech for different people.

I do that even on the internet, writing differently on different forums and with different people on chat. This includes grammar and punctuation, for example, to a great extent - whether I use semicolons or commas; whether I use a lot of exclamation marks, or none, or no end-of-sentence punctuation at all; whether I use proper capitalization; whether I swear a lot; etc.