Ice queen. People who say hi and people who don't

Thought of something. Since you can get with hookers, why don't you try responding to "casual encounter" ads? They're sort of in between relationships and prostitution. You can still have the hooker style detachment, but you might hit it off with someone and it can turn into a friends-with-benefits type situation, which is even closer to a relationship, but still doesn't have all the bells and whistles that might be setting you off. In the very least you might be able to see where your limits are more clearly so you can see what you can work on to be more comfortable in a traditional relationship. Maybe if you take baby steps toward the type of relationship you want you'll eventually end up in one.

Have you seen the women who are looking for those? 300 pounders who can't get dates so they go online. Or they're psychos. Or they're looking for some guy with a super dong. Or with the Johnny Depp face. And there aren't that many either. Not real ones. Lots are just a ways to suck you into paid porn sites or offers to cam. Sites like adultfriendfinder are such a total joke. They claim that there are 20,000 women in my state looking to get laid - yeah, right. That's nearly half the 20-50 year old women in my state. Heck - it's not even that easy to find a good hooker. Not that I'm even looking now. I was thinking about killing myself today because my foot pain was so bad. In addition to the dental stuff. I'm in no shape to do anything with anyone.

Well, clearly I don't go looking through those ads. It was just a suggestion - sorry I was so far off the mark.

It sucks to hear about your pain. Have you been to a pain specialist to see if there's anything that can be done? Acupuncture or a pain pump or OT or something along those lines? I'm sure you have. Probably throwing up useless stuff you've heard 6 million times before.

Wish it wasn't driving you to such a bad place. I'm a hypocrite though, considering what's been running through my mind. I have an IEP meeting at my son's school in the morning. Tons of fun. It's a roomful of people ganging up on me telling me what a rotten kid I have, how horrible a parent I am, and informing me that, despite getting federal funds for my son's disability, they're going to do nothing to help him. My therapist told me to drink tonight - no joke - to try to numb my anxiety so I won't go off the deep end. Maybe having a peppy cheerleader type therapist has it's advantages, although she wanted me to see her again after the meeting, which I shot down, because I think I'd go mad if I saw her two days in a row. But feel free to go ahead and take her advice, numb yourself up a bit, see if it's a bit better tomorrow.