an Avoidant

err hiya there, im kinda new to this forum stuff and to be honest never cared for them much, hate the thought of what i put being scrutinized over and stuff but whatever. soo I'm another lonely avoidant for the heap and in need of some company, real life serves lemons day in day out so online has to be the method, I'm not really sure what to do? ive spent a fair amount of time reading on here and various other forums and feel that my "personal story" would just mirror bits and peices of everyone elses, so maybe a quick run through or something? -slighty off as a child, signs of autism(mother says i was a very diffacult child....that didnt stop I just learned to keep quiet about it) the imaginary world escapism is very present throughout but espicially so in my teenage years where things were pretty nasty, hmm depression since about 12, bouts of self harm, rather extreme inner turmoil(imagnary friends, desires to be a serial killer, lost in crossdressing phases, animal torture, and a whole nest of less then acceptable sexual interests but which are still internal) and well every "friend" i ever knew has slowly left me untill about 2 years ago i woke up alone...so thats a brief overview of this vessel I inhabit, oh and also I'm a male 19 year old living England, just I cant seem to keep "normal" people around me even online so having other avoidants to talk to would be godsend but then theres the issues with forums...umm well im aware its sounding abit desperate by now but i would really appreciate someone to talk to on msn or something...
over and out, peace.

You seem to have the idea that your problems aren't serious and are unimportant, when the opposite is true. Your problems are very important and deserve an equal amount of attention as anyone's else's. You're a person too, you know, and you have every right to live a happy/content life. I'm not English by the way - I live in England like you, but I just moved here from Ireland. I'll forgoe commenting on the torture and serial killer things, and will instead just inform you that I very much identify with AvPD too, and also the autism thing you mentioned. I have a mild form of Autism I feel, as I identify with every symptom of it (Asperger's syndrome). I'm sure you've heard of it.

You're 19 - right? - what are you up to right now? Are you in college/university, working, or just at home?

Kevin

Hello Kevin, far from it I think, my problems are very important to me and maybe I didnt appear sad enough or something...but I find it easier to view myself as someone else so when describing its done from a spectator's view.
I dont work or do anything really, yes just dwell at home, also how are you finding England?

Yes, you just seemed so calm in your post. That's what made me think that you haven't been seeing your problems as serious. Your'e not doing anything right now but where would you want to be instead? It wouldn't be too weird to ask those around you for advice on what do to. I don't knowe about you, but when I sit at home for any one day, I feel guilty that i'm not out walking, working, etc.

To be honest, England isn't all that great. The population densities between Ireland and England are different (by a long way). The English seem to be more paranoid and anxious.