Loneliness and relationships

Parador wrote:Well, trents hasn't posted here since this thread. I wonder if he's hurting from rejection or if he's getting naked with someone. Hard to tell. If it were me I would let you guys know.

Lol!

He doesn't post much anyway. I hope he's alright. Let us know trents.

Heh, I'm fine, thanks for asking. I was feeling lonely when I posted that. But no, no nakedness here, lol.

CSRevenant wrote:I've pretty much come to the point where I don't bother trying to get dates. I'm pretty much doomed to get rejected no matter what I do, be it in 5 minutes, or a year. I don't think the miniscule chance of finding a "soul mate", if they exist, is worth the huge amount of rejection, money, pain, and time. I'm pretty sick of being alone too, but I find it more preferable to the living hell that is dating.

That's me too.
I'd rather feel a little depressed and lonely than have my feelings stomped on every time I get rejected (which is every time).

trents wrote:Heh, I'm fine, thanks for asking. I was feeling lonely when I posted that. But no, no nakedness here, lol.

I´m curious. You don´t need to replay. Did you recived any pm from an avoidant girl? I bet you didn´t.

@ CSReverant and @ Bright Eyes: I know it´s much more difficult for an avoidant to find a soul mate but it´s possible. I think one of the first step to give is to change our way of thinking: what about if someone rejected us? nothing at all, simply this is not the person who decerves us. what about if we love this person? many others are waiting for us.
We are the same. Beautiful people who decerves being loved, mainly by ourselves.

I read this in a Possitive Phychology book.

trents wrote:Heh, I'm fine, thanks for asking. I was feeling lonely when I posted that. But no, no nakedness here, lol.

Bummer. Well, you could do what I have done before. Go online with a fake profile on a dating site with a male model pic. You can get women to chat with that way. And if you're lucky one of them will be blind and you can get a date! lol.

twistermind wrote:@ CSReverant and @ Bright Eyes: I know it´s much more difficult for an avoidant to find a soul mate but it´s possible. I think one of the first step to give is to change our way of thinking: what about if someone rejected us? nothing at all, simply this is not the person who decerves us. what about if we love this person? many others are waiting for us.
We are the same. Beautiful people who decerves being loved, mainly by ourselves.

I read this in a Possitive Phychology book.

I don't doubt that if I spent 10 or so years looking for someone that i would eventually find SOMEONE. But, I don't really want to get married. I have seen so many friends and family, and my parents, who got married, and things went to hell. My parents are together because they have few other options, and often times are not very happy. Couple that with high divorce rates, and the immense financial risk of divorce. I just cant bring myself to bother dating.

Dating, and especially marriage just seem like extremely risky propositions, and the cost of failure is just too high.

But, I'm extremely pessimistic and never had much hope.

CSRevenant wrote: Couple that with high divorce rates, and the immense financial risk of divorce. I just cant bring myself to bother dating.

Dating, and especially marriage just seem like extremely risky propositions, and the cost of failure is just too high.

But, I'm extremely pessimistic and never had much hope.

I guess normal people don't bother thinking ahead like that. They just let their genitals lead them around.

Parador wrote:I guess normal people don't bother thinking ahead like that. They just let their genitals lead them around.

I never really understood the phenomena. People just jump into life altering contracts without assessing the risks.