not avpd?

Ok, I've been reading through the threads, and many of you have said that for a person to have AVPD, it must impair his or her job, school environment, home, etc. I'm kind of confused, because it seems like to have this disorder, you don't have control over your life or something. I feel that I have avpd, but does the fact that I go to school, have a job, and have a few close friends completely rule me out of this disorder. Give me your thoughts.

On a side note, does this apply to all personality disorders? Because it seems as if the world's most successful businessmen have characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder. It doesn't look like it impairs their lives.

I think it's relative, and depends on the person. Some people who identify with AvPD are able to function better than others, and some simply exhibit avoidant behaviors stronger than others. The latter is in line with the theory that an avoidant personality can manifest as a Personality Disorder or as a Personality Style, which seems like a classification system for "how bad you have it." There's a good article here: http://www.users.freenetname.co.uk/~tlj ... eneral.htm ...if you're interested.

m1norityofone984 wrote:I think it's relative, and depends on the person. Some people who identify with AvPD are able to function better than others, and some simply exhibit avoidant behaviors stronger than others. The latter is in line with the theory that an avoidant personality can manifest as a Personality Disorder or as a Personality Style, which seems like a classification system for "how bad you have it." There's a good article here: http://www.users.freenetname.co.uk/~tlj ... eneral.htm ...if you're interested.

Thanks for that. It's weird though because I show all of the avoidant STYLE characteristics, but I do still possess some of the disorder traits. Confusing.

I went to school, but I avoided lots of classes I should have taken. I got a degree but not the best education I could have gotten. I work, but it's a job below my capabilities. Many people with avpd are simply underacheivers, like me.

purpleorchidz wrote:Thanks for that. It's weird though because I show all of the avoidant STYLE characteristics, but I do still possess some of the disorder traits. Confusing.

It does seem kinda confusing, really. If you had asked me if I had the avoidant personality style or disorder a year ago, I would have told you that I had the style. Yet, I've had a lot of stressful events take place since then, and have moved fairly firmly into the disorder. I don't know how flexible it is. It could simply be two phases within an avoidant personality. Or, the style could be a precursory stage before a more ingrained disorder. I don't know for sure, but I intend to find out one way or another

Parador wrote: I work, but it's a job below my capabilities. Many people with avpd are simply underacheivers, like me.

Yep. You nailed it. I should have a high paying (or at least reasonably well paying) job doing something artistic. Instead I just meander through life taking anything I get all the while KNOWING I'm far more capable than what I do. It's ridiculous and it pisses me off. I'm not meant for this monotonous scheisse. I should be doing something much more rewarding and challenging but I haven't.

purpleorchidz wrote:On a side note, does this apply to all personality disorders? Because it seems as if the world's most successful businessmen have characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder. It doesn't look like it impairs their lives.

They're dead inside. [whistle smiley]

If being around other people causes you significant distress but you do it anyway, you're still going to be impaired to some degree by your distress. There is also a less severe disorder, related to AvPD you could take a look at (social anxiety/social phobia).

purpleorchidz wrote:Ok, I've been reading through the threads, and many of you have said that for a person to have AVPD, it must impair his or her job, school environment, home, etc. I'm kind of confused, because it seems like to have this disorder, you don't have control over your life or something. I feel that I have avpd, but does the fact that I go to school, have a job, and have a few close friends completely rule me out of this disorder. Give me your thoughts.

On a side note, does this apply to all personality disorders? Because it seems as if the world's most successful businessmen have characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder. It doesn't look like it impairs their lives.

If you have a few close friends, I'd assume that you don't have AVPD. You could very well have another type of social disorder. People with AVPD at MOST have one close friend outside of family. The severity of the disorder varies with each case, but it has to impair your life in some way in order to be this disorder. Example:

I have no friends at all. When I was in high school a few years back, I had friends but no one I was remotely close to. So they were really more like acquaintances. I kept my distance from everyone and no one knew me on a personal level. I simply can't get close to people outside of immediate family. I don't express my emotions, I don't talk about personal things, I don't let myself get close or open up to anyone. If I have something a simple as a doctors appointment to go to- I am dreading it ahead of time. Paying for an item at a store is hard for me. I avoid eye contact with the cashier and pretend that I'm looking around in my purse for something, just to avoid having to talk to them. A month ago I had a event I didn't want to go to but had no choice...it was so bad that I cried the night before because I couldn't get out of it. It is a natural instinct for me to avoid people. The vast majority of my time is spent daydreaming about the life I wish I had.

AVPD isn't really just a problem with being in public, it is a problem with socializing and interpersonal relationships. My sister has social anxiety disorder. She hates public settings because she feels uncomfortable a lot, and she's a pretty shy person. She still goes out to social settings though. She also has several close friends, and has been in serious relationships with men. I have avoidant personality disorder. This prevents me from going anywhere. If I do I'm avoiding any social interaction, and trying not to be noticed. Never been in any relationship before with a guy, don't have any friends. That is the difference.

purple1 wrote:When I was in high school a few years back, I had friends but no one I was remotely close to. So they were really more like acquaintances. I kept my distance from everyone and no one knew me on a personal level. I simply can't get close to people outside of immediate family. I don't express my emotions, I don't talk about personal things, I don't let myself get close or open up to anyone. If I have something a simple as a doctors appointment to go to- I am dreading it ahead of time. Paying for an item at a store is hard for me. I avoid eye contact with the cashier and pretend that I'm looking around in my purse for something, just to avoid having to talk to them. A month ago I had a event I didn't want to go to but had no choice...it was so bad that I cried the night before because I couldn't get out of it. It is a natural instinct for me to avoid people. The vast majority of my time is spent daydreaming about the life I wish I had.

Thats just like me. Except I do have a few close friendships.
One guy I've known for over 20 years, but I'm cutting myself away from him as he can't pass the tests I set him (inside my head).
Another guy who I see maybe 4 times a year.
And two (a couple) who live in a different country that I see even less.
There are others that I was good friends but have fallen out of touch with.
Thinking about it they're not all that close as relationships go are they.

Oh, and I really want to open up and express emotion. But feel like I can't to anyone I know (and of course I can't speak to anyone I don't know), and I'm not sure why.