Do you hide from people?

I don't just mean in the street or in general. Although I do do that when I'm feeling particularly avoidant.
I stayed in my room for a week at college and survived on tap water and comedy DVDs.

I mean;
Do you hide your real self from people?

For years now I've been presenting myself as this weird crazy person. I'll come across as odd and observe people reactions to this character. I've backed up the character by usually being drunk and on drugs, or doing something crazy like Back Packing in Iran (which was awesome), doing crazy things to cars using Nitrous and just generally being eccentric.

But I'm tired of pretending. I just want to be me. I'm afraid people will reject the real me, whereas it didn't matter if they didn't like me before because that wasn't really me.

Bright eyes, I take the view that everyone hides their true self. They only reveal themselves to people that they feel comfortable with, such as a favourite sibling, parent, friend, or partner. In the presence of everyone else, they 'pretend' to be someone that they are not. This is the way that people socialise. If you reveal too much to someone 'untrustworthy', then you are taking a risk. So, I don't really see this as part of AvPD, unless you do actually avoid people in the physical sense?

Be YOURSELF always. Be faithful to your convictions (solid however flexible), taking account of others have their own convictions. Be compassionate with YOURSEL, always. Love you when you get accomplish something good but love you again, in the bas moments. When you need to be alone, love you. When someone reject you, love you.

Yes, I do hide from and avoid people, and I like it that way most of the time. Unless it something VERY FUN to do, then I don't leave my house much. I, on average, go out of my home/yard once per week. I prefer to stay at home, maybe talk to my sister on the phone, but I rarely seek out interatcion with others. I, in fact, dread it, and am very happy when I don't have something on my agenda which forces me into society. I feel as if my house is one realtiy I'm in, and being in society is another. Someone made a comment about wearing armor in public, or around other people. I do this, and have to force myself to go out. Once I'm out, I can function in a typical fashion, but am always greatly relieved when my task that takes me out is over with. Then I can relax and not worry about it till the next time I need to go out. I'm your "typical cat lady" recluse....I feel it's much safer for me to guage and "gear up" for any given situation before I venture out, whether that's in a physical, or an emotional sense. But if I didn't have significant family members who fufill my need for contact, I'd be one lonely person. I'm really never "me", unless I'm all by myself, or with my cats. The rest is just a performance.

Sometimes, but not often;
I don't like leaving the house when there is a chance I will see someone I know.

I find it very frustrating having to make small talk, and will usually cross the street, ignore or sometimes turn around and run away from people just so I don't have to converse with them.

But sometimes (this hasn't happened for a long time now) I will go out for no other reason than hoping to bump into someone I know. I guess I can get overly lonely and need a certain amount of human interaction to keep me sane.

im not really 100% sure of my real personallity or how i should act.. i always try to be myself though i just think im still on the path of unravveling it.. ive got a freind at work who truly isnt scared to act like himself around anybody, hes really funny and doesnt show any restraint just jokes with anybody. i felt like i could learn alot from him but he just left last week

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Bright eyes wrote:I don't just mean in the street or in general. Although I do do that when I'm feeling particularly avoidant.
I stayed in my room for a week at college and survived on tap water and comedy DVDs.

I mean;
Do you hide your real self from people?

For years now I've been presenting myself as this weird crazy person. I'll come across as odd and observe people reactions to this character. I've backed up the character by usually being drunk and on drugs, or doing something crazy like Back Packing in Iran (which was awesome), doing crazy things to cars using Nitrous and just generally being eccentric.

But I'm tired of pretending. I just want to be me. I'm afraid people will reject the real me, whereas it didn't matter if they didn't like me before because that wasn't really me.

You tell me to wear a seatbelt, but you go back packing in Iran?? Huh.

I'm not even sure what my real self is. There are two of me. I have the warm sensitive side and the dark cynical side which is a combo of Denis Leary and Dr. House. Then there's the inner me which is more like a scared little kid who wants a hug from his mommy. I don't think anyone wants ANY of those guys.

That nitrous thing with the cars looks pretty cool. I have a Honda civic. It tops out at about 100 mph. How fast could it go with nitrous? I remember in the fast and Furious movie they blew a way a Ferrari with a souped up Celica ( I think) You can't make them that fast, can you? I drove a Celica once and it wasn't any faster than my Civic.

Dear Mister Jeckyll and Hide, many women and men are interested in a personality like yours.
The question is, are you ready to give people the change to know you.

Parador wrote:You tell me to wear a seatbelt, but you go back packing in Iran?? Huh.

Iran is totally safe. Well it was last summer.

Parador wrote:I'm not even sure what my real self is. There are two of me. I have the warm sensitive side and the dark cynical side which is a combo of Denis Leary and Dr. House. Then there's the inner me which is more like a scared little kid who wants a hug from his mommy. I don't think anyone wants ANY of those guys.

You know, I think most people are like that. I don't think Avoidant people are any different to anyone else. It's just we have trouble talking to other people and take rejection worse than most.

Parador wrote:Stuff about cars

Don't even get me started!! There are lots of car forums about. I'll just say, you need 4X more power to go 2x faster.