Losing pets

For some reason I always find those cards from the vet's office very comforting... I hope you can find some comfort somewhere.

His ashes are in a box on my kitchen counter. I still have my father's ashes. He requested they be scattered on a local mountain - it's really just a scenic 1000 foot hill. I've never been able to do it.

I'm not sure there is any comfort to be found. When dad dies I had little Buddy. Now that he's gone I have nothing. I'm looking for distraction. I'll settle for that.

When you're ready, parador, you could get another snuggler cat.
My dog Oliver drowned. It was devastating to me. He was that 1-in-1-million type of dog. I wasn't ready for over a year. But a rescue dog came up that touched my heart. So now I have Otto. He's not Oliver, but he's Otto, and he's special in a different way. I'm very glad to have another dog to love.
You could get another cat to love when you're ready.

I'm sorry about your dog. I woiuld relly feel sick if that had happened. I'm not planning on getting another cat. I want freedom. I don't want ANYONE depending on me. Now I'm free to chuck it all and drive to Cleveland if I want. (Check my job related posts. It's brutal.)

So so so sorry to hear this about your beloved friend...I lost my Billy a few years ago. He was the most awesome cat. He had a lot of the same problems as your Buddy did, only his mainly started because he had bad teeth which caused infections throughout his system. The vets continued to clean his teeth, but they started breaking and rotting, so they began pulling them one by one to rid him of the infections (along with strong doses of antibiotics). My Billy was not good in the car and basically freaked out every time I took him in. I began to wonder how much stress this was causing him, even more so than him being sick. And how many months was I taking off his life by the stress of the vet visits and having his teeth pulled. The last tooth he had pulled, he was in so much pain, he hid for 5 days.

I just couldn't do it to him anymore, riding in the car and him freaking out going to the vet's. By this time, I was tapped for the little money I could spend trying to save my friend's life. I asked myself, "Am I doing this for him, or for me?" As he really was suffering and stressed out. Not like your Buddy who was at least a little bit comfortable in his last days. I called my vet and asked her what I should do, should I put him to sleep? She said since he was till eating and drinking and going to the bathroom, that it was probably ok for me to allow him to enjoy food and he still loved being petted and held and would interact with me. She gave me antiinflammatory meds to help ease some of the discomfort, but 4 days later he died in his sleep at the foot of my bed. I will forever be haunted by the fact that I feel I didn't do enough for him, like you did for your Buddy, because I stopped treatments.

I do agree with the people who said having other pets is a great way to help the transition of grief and loss back to taking careof the living, as I have 3 other cats that need my care and attention. It helped me to recover from the death of my Billy-boy, knowing I had my other babies who needed me. But, I can understand if your work prohibits you the capability of having a furry creature who depends on you. One of my other cats I have is named Marbles, and she's now 18 years old. I dread when she goes, as she is aging now, but much more gracefully than Billy-boy did. I don't know what I'll do if she needs to see the vet, as she's the same way as Billy in freaking out with car trips and vets. I know that a large source of an animal's quality of life revolves around the stress level it has, and I don't want to destroy her comfortable life by taking her for treatments if she ever gets to that point. I know I'll be completely devastated when she goes.

I'm sorry about Billy. That was a really tough situation for you. I don't know how I would have handled that. At least you know he still loved you since he was at the foot of your bed.

My cat got used to the car rides, thankfully. If he hadn't I think there is a vet that does house calls. Buddy was still eating and drinking in his last day. It was the pooping and peeing that were tough for him. They were never sure exactly why that happened. It is possible he had a tumor in his spine that didn't show up on the x-rays. None of the vets suggested a bone scan to diagnose it. radiation or chemo might have helped if that was the problem.

I just got a card from his vet assuring me that we did everything we could. I gave them a card with his picture on it when I picked up his ashes. It said "Thank you for taking care of me for the past 17 years. Love, Buddy"

I still can't shake the gulit though. I had a dream last week where I heard him scratching outside the door. I had just gotten back from a two day trip and I had left him outside all that time. I went to get him some fresh water and he jumped up on the counter and looked at me. He didn't look mad or anything. He just wanted to be with me.