Damn. that was really painful

hey.


First of all: my native language is german, so my english might sound weird.

on new years eve i experienced a pretty awkward situation.

we were 6 people hanging out, drinking and chillin. the location was the appartment which two of my "homies" share.
one of the dudes girlfriend was also present there but the other 5 people were all men.
so...
I'm not sure if i really am, what you would describe as avpd, but i show a whole lot of symptons.
on that particular night i was kind of confused, manic and depressed at the same time due to stimulant(drug)-abuse and 50 hours of sleep deprivation.

soon as i entered the room and saw the girl sittin' there my behaviour became ..eh.. quiet strange.
i tried to avoid looking at her and while talking to my mates i must have sounded like a complete mess-in every way you could imagine.
ok, i start to get bogged down in details.

the point is that the girl left the room after midnight and started arguing with her boyfriend outside in a real hysterical way.
i heard her say that she wants to party somewhere else and she hates it here with *those guys* ....

later she was getting more precisely...
she yelled that that weird, scary dude(hey, that's me ) is annoying her. if he stays here, she will leave for another party.

if the guy would stay here till early morning, she won't even sleep here(they got a separate bedroom), because she's scared.

so, once again: she was talkin' about me

i felt _really_ ###$ up after this. hard to describe. i have been hurt quiet often, but that was really painful.

One good thing:
my friends turned out to really be my friends.
instead of kickin' me out they kicked her out and excused for her behaviour.


sry, for that negligible neurotic story. but i feel better somehow now.

That really sucks man. I feel ya though, I've had similar $#%^ happen. This one time an aquaintence of mine introduced me to his girlfriend who happened to live in the same building as me. She said something like "I've seen you around, you looked lonely but I never said anything cause you look scary and i thought you would stab me" It was like god am I really that creepy?

It's cool your friends threw her out instead of you.

CriminallyVulgar wrote:That really sucks man. I feel ya though, I've had similar $#%^ happen. This one time an aquaintence of mine introduced me to his girlfriend who happened to live in the same building as me. She said something like "I've seen you around, you looked lonely but I never said anything cause you look scary and i thought you would stab me" It was like god am I really that creepy?

I get stuff like that all the time. It's like people are afraid of me and act like I'm gonna pull a knife out on them or something, but in fact, it's the complete opposite. I'm just a lonely kid who's afraid of people rather than someone who would want to hurt them. I always feel like the oddball of the group like I don't belong. Most of the time I wish I could tell them my story, but I find it impossible to do.

Yukinari wrote:

CriminallyVulgar wrote:That really sucks man. I feel ya though, I've had similar $#%^ happen. This one time an aquaintence of mine introduced me to his girlfriend who happened to live in the same building as me. She said something like "I've seen you around, you looked lonely but I never said anything cause you look scary and i thought you would stab me" It was like god am I really that creepy?

I get stuff like that all the time. It's like people are afraid of me and act like I'm gonna pull a knife out on them or something, but in fact, it's the complete opposite. I'm just a lonely kid who's afraid of people rather than someone who would want to hurt them. I always feel like the oddball of the group like I don't belong. Most of the time I wish I could tell them my story, but I find it impossible to do.

My GAWD. I feel the same way. In high school, I was part of the 'goth' goup but even inside the "freak" group, I still felt like I didn't belong.

I really get the OP's situation he was describing too. I always find it awkward to go hang out with the very few people that I am comfortable around and they have some of their other friends there too. I always talk less than if it was just me and the people I know, it's especially bad when there are women. It's so pathetic.

Occasionally it's not like this, sometimes these random people are actually nice and engaging and make a point to talk to me. It's always a wierd plesant suprise, filled with anxiety.

I get that all the time... it's like they make no effort to talk to you... but somehow you're the creepy one... and if you do try to converse with them they look at you like a creep anyway so it's a lose-lose as far as I'm concerned. Just brush it off man, that's what I try to do... the girls that should matter are the ones that are friendly regardless... you'll drown if you hang yourself up on the "Ms. Thing"s of the world. They're boring human beings outside of their little social circles... they aren't worth it.

RaspberryPsycho wrote:

Yukinari wrote:I get stuff like that all the time. It's like people are afraid of me and act like I'm gonna pull a knife out on them or something, but in fact, it's the complete opposite. I'm just a lonely kid who's afraid of people rather than someone who would want to hurt them. I always feel like the oddball of the group like I don't belong. Most of the time I wish I could tell them my story, but I find it impossible to do.

My GAWD. I feel the same way. In high school, I was part of the 'goth' goup but even inside the "freak" group, I still felt like I didn't belong.

Eh, I never belonged to a group, I really don't belong and I know it. The great sense of alienation gets to me too much. I don't even feel like I'm part of my family. It's like I was born in the wrong house because of my differences personality-wise. I've been like this as far as I can remember. All the way back to elementary school was when I first noticed that I was different. I couldn't belong to a group because my differences would stand out too much, and I don't want people to know about my problems. It'd be much better if I were treated like a normal human being is supposed to be treated, but I can't blame them, I'm too "different".