Is This Normal?

Oooh, yes. Music, yeah, I'll listen to that while I eat/drink and pace around sometimes. xP

I mostly do it in the morning or the afternoons before doing something else. But I'm embarrassed about it and don't talk about or let myself be seen doing it.
May not be anything to brag about, but just because other people don't do things like this (pace/sit and think) does that really make it bad? Nah it's only different IMO, just don't let it get out of hand and there's no problem.
Part of this for me is ADHD and crappy attention span in my case. I'm in my head most of time and like it. I enjoy letting myself get totally sucked in for a short time (like 30-40 minutes at the most at a time).


Hahah, during my pottery class, I'd hyperfocus soooo bad. I'd like be staring at what I was doing and thinking simultaniously (in my own little world and very, very deeply at that) and then suddenly become aware there was a class going on around me. I get absorbed and forget the world around me like this often, but omg.... The shock of realizing what was going on was kind of like going to bed in your home like any other night and then waking up in the middle of class/work. "Holy hell, I'm in school, when did this happen!?!"
It was nice pulling in like that. I felt like I'd completely gone to another world, hahahah.

Haha, yeah.

Music is a key factor to my.. fixed-fantasies. /doesn't like admitting it. But yeah, I'm the same way; I definitely don't allow myself to be seen doing it, nor have I EVER spoken about it. This is the first time I've ever discussed or even admitted that I do it. I've always kept myself in denial that it's fine, I'm not crazy, and.. just sort of ignored it, even though I knew it was a strange aspect of my behavior. It was such a relief to learn it was a symptom.

I've been caught before 'n damn is it awkward. I try to cover it up, make up an excuse, anything. It's so embarrassing, you'd think I was doing something ELSE, but no, I'm just in my own world. Thaaat's all. I usually escape in my room, but sometimes the living room. But I'll pace and pace, jump around 'n $#%^. ); Bleh.

And I'm not sure if it's necessarily bad, it's relief, but it's not the kind that I want to keep allowing myself to resort in. But, I dunnooo. How can I not? I have a huge imagination, it's my world and I can be whoever I want. Which is far, far better than the self-loathing, socially inept person that I am.

and LOL@ school comment. I've totally zoned out in class before in the same manner.. and then slip back into reality and be all.

"*pause*

..oh, I'm here.


###$."

It's hard not to day-dream during class. I mean, c'mon. $#%^ gets boooring.

Wow. I pace too. One of my favorite things to do is put on some headphones and pace my room/lie still on my bed while fantasizing/writing a story in my head. It's a very personal thing, and I imagine looks crazy, so I only do it alone. Sometimes that fantasy is put to good use when I write something, but mostly it's about developing my own internal worlds. If I could get out of the house more, I'd like to go down to the track at school and walk to turn it into something more physically useful.

Likewise, I am often so absorbed in my own thoughts that I forget the world exists around me. There is an alarming, and yet pleasant side-effect to this when it comes to living with my boyfriend. Often when I see him after these spells, I'll get a strange senation of waking up to a wonderful dream. (As opposed to waking up from one.) It's like, oh my god, that's right, the coolest person in the world is right here. It's almost hilarious, but he has the tendency to do the same thing, so some of our regular time together is spent being simply stunned and delighted at one another's existence.

One of the things that i started doing lately is pretending to be talking on a cellphone when i'm in public. I've got maybe 15 contacts on it and theres not a single one that would call me or i would call to, so i just dial account balance # and talk to my imaginary friend. I talk about everything around me, including people, or whatever i feel inside, or what i did last weekend. In other words i pretty much talk to myself. I think it somewhat eases the social anxiety, because if people are looking at you, at least it's reasonable that you're by yourself and there's someone that cares to call you. Not the best way to meet people though, as they'd just label you as another "stuck-up".(that is if they're sure that you're talking to someone, and if not, they'll label you as schizophrenic)
It has gotten me in trouble once, though. I was in a club and could not hear my phone, but i was still pretending talking. Turns out i accidentally dialed some girl from my phone book, and she had a voice mail. I'm pretty sure all of my "imaginary conversation" was recorded in her voice mail box. Long story short, she hasn't contacted me since.

Imman wrote:One of the things that i started doing lately is pretending to be talking on a cellphone when i'm in public. I've got maybe 15 contacts on it and theres not a single one that would call me or i would call to, so i just dial account balance # and talk to my imaginary friend. I talk about everything around me, including people, or whatever i feel inside, or what i did last weekend. In other words i pretty much talk to myself. I think it somewhat eases the social anxiety, because if people are looking at you, at least it's reasonable that you're by yourself and there's someone that cares to call you. Not the best way to meet people though, as they'd just label you as another "stuck-up".(that is if they're sure that you're talking to someone, and if not, they'll label you as schizophrenic)
It has gotten me in trouble once, though. I was in a club and could not hear my phone, but i was still pretending talking. Turns out i accidentally dialed some girl from my phone book, and she had a voice mail. I'm pretty sure all of my "imaginary conversation" was recorded in her voice mail box. Long story short, she hasn't contacted me since.

Wow, I do the exact same thing. If I'm in a public setting and am sitting around by myself for a while, I'll whip out my phone and pretend to either be sending or recieving a call. I'll talk for a bit about random things (things I did during the day, things I plan on doing, etc.), but most of the time I'll make things up to talk about (meeting someone later, for example), mostly as a poor attempt at making myself look social to anyone who overhears me.
*sigh*
I'm such a sad sight to behold.

I never worry about that 'cause my phone is always on vibrate only.

rofl.


I've done the same thing with the phone. Only, I'll just yeah.. pretend to be texting or something. I hate when I do that, too. It's such denial. "I'M NOT A LONER, I'M NOT A LONER, I'M NOT!"

That's what it screams, lol

I will make it a personal goal not to do things like that anymore. If I'm alone, then I'm alone. Stare all you want. ._. Even if they're not staring at "zomg, that girl is alone.", I'd still feel eyes on me for the very fact, but I'm sick and tired of caring so much what others think. I really, really am.

I don't want to care anymore, seriously. Apathy pills, anyone?

I rather be a loner and be independant then i need to depent on people

I don't mind being a loner or independant.

Well, I do. I wish I wasn't SUCH a loner, but that's just who I am. I need space from people and I need it often.


What I don't like is being in denial about who I am and caring so much about other's thoughts of me.

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