The A.V.P.D. rant thread.

stratnell wrote:I was just out riding my bike and I got laughed at by two adults. I still think bike riding is a good way to at least get out of the house.

Chances are they weren't laughing at you, they were probably just talking about something and they said something funny. I think the same way, if anyone around me starts laughing they must be laughing at me for some reason.

Asuka wrote:Another thing that annoys me is that my flat has a gas oven. Now these are considered antiques in Ireland but my french flat mate told me their standard in France. So whats the problem you may ask, just learn how to use a gas oven. I would but there are mice living behind it and the oven is filty itself so I'm living of microvable food/Chinese take aways/ cheap Noodles from a chinese mini market or spending ten Euros-eight dollars- for a good meal which I currently cannot afford. I'm so tempted to buy a cheap microwave oven and throwing that antique into the closet.

Why don't you spend the weekend cleaning the oven (if it is even cleanable) instead of spending the money on a new one?

Yay! all my friends hate me now, my parents hate me, and i don't know what the hell i'm doing next year after i graduate.

Ugh, so Lewis Black was supposed to come to our campus to speak several weeks ago. I really wanted to go, but I only have about 4 friends in college, and they aren't really close to me. I tried to ask them to go watch the show with me, and I even offered to pay part of their ticket. (The show had assigned seating, by the way)

Friend 1: "Oh, I already bought tickets a while back."

Friend 2: "No." (and I offered to pay for half his ticket)

Friend 3: "Maybe, I'll get back to you on that."
A few weeks later, he tells me he'll get Lewis Black tickets the following Monday, and he'll get one for me. I tried contacting him to see if he got the tickets, but he's ignoring his calls and instant messages. Friday evening, after the box office closes, he finally responds, saying he forgot to buy me one. Just ****ing great.

Friend 4: "Yeah man, we need to get tickets to that show!"
He seems more enthused than I am, until I realized that he was probably BSing me, because he decided never to talk to me again.

And just to rub the salt in the wound a little more, Friend 1 texts me saying "Lewis Black!!". I respond with "uhh, I'm not there.", and he replies "I know. And I am." I'm pretty sure he was joking, but it was extremely cruel, and I was ready to go ballistic.

I really don't have any friends in college anymore. These were all the "friends" I had, and they have no heart, no love, and don't seem to care for me at all anymore.

I'm living of microvable food/Chinese take aways/ cheap Noodles from a chinese mini market or spending ten Euros-eight dollars- for a good meal which I currently cannot afford.

lol.Same for me at the moment. We also have gas ovens here (this is very common in the Netherlands).
There are no mice cos I live on the 10th floor, but I share the kitchen with 11 people and I don't even know all of them. I have a fridge and a microwave in my room and I don't like getting involved into annoying small talk with my flatmates while cooking. And I don't feel like cleaning away the mess resulting from 5 generations of students.
We have a cleaning schedule, but obviously this doesn't extend to the oven.

I am seriously f****** tired of always trying to figure out everything about myself. Can I just find a solid platform to build upon at least? I mean....am I the only person who can't seem to figure out who they are at the most basic of levels? I try not to believe I am, but the doubts just keep persisting. Every time I think I've got it worked out and running good, I get another wrench in the gears. I just feel this gut-churning necessity to have an understanding of myself as it pertains to my surroundings. As it pertains to any and everything I come into contact with on a most annoyingly constant basis. I cannot fathom ever feeling satisfied because I foresee myself living for an eternity with this curse. The desire for everything is so strong and persistent. The desire is all that exists. The desire is haunting. The desire is maddening. The desire is unattainable.
I try ever so hard to blend in, to mesh with society, yet in reality I am a hair's breath from the monastery (if it weren't for my abysmal distaste in religion). I've always longed for that revered solitude. For the perpetually nihilistic existence, and near wholistic isolation. And still, I am ashamed to have this longing. To put upon myself the "what-if's" of other people's thoughts thoughts. To know that my life is mine alone and yet feel compelled to lend it to others? I cannot form a solid opinion on either side. My morality (as it may) is like the polarity of a magnet. When I try to bring the ends together they repel and refuse to obey. I cannot find the steady stream within the incessant flux of my mind, and it may just be the death of me.


There, I've ranted.
More about depersonalization than avoidance but.....It felt good

Glad I found that thread. I'm just having a slight emotional outburst. I can't even get the most stupid piece of programming to work and it's really like NOTHING. I don't have the intellectual capacity for what I want to do and I can't believe nobody yet realized or didn't have the courage to tell me. It's not that I have any alternative. This is all I have/had. If I'm lucky nobody will stop me from obtaining a dergree. I hate the fact that others are better than me and I feel like destroying someone's life for no reason. I want to change into someone who doesn't care for anything but the moment and I would even be bad at that. And I can't even express myself adequately and nobody even cares.
And to make it all more funny I have to get up at 3.30 a.m. tomorrow morning and work for 9 hours and after that dinner with my lovely flatmates. I love my life.
I know I shouldn't complain as it could be worse but I can't even stand it as it is.
end rant
else smile

Perhaps I'm just in a pissy mood, but I've decided that I hate God.

If there is a God, he's a complete and total ###$. I'm not impressed with his/her/it's work and quite honestly God is the reason that humanity keeps on destroying itself (good, if you're stupid enough to die for something as pointless as an invisible man in the sky, you probably don't deserve to live anyway).

###$ God, ###$ Religion and ###$ all the twisted morons who forgot about SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!

Don't use patriotism as an excuse to force your religion on me. =/

Speaking of which, ###$ the United States too.

A real life Shinji wrote:I have four drunken Afghanistani refugees downstairs listening to Barbie girl very loudly and I just want to sleep to escape my miserable life.I feel like crying.

The drunken afghanistanis listening to barbie made me laugh .

I hope you current mood improves soon. Happy belated birthday!