Sick weirdo

I got turned down for a job today. It can't have been lack of experience as I had 10 years doing almost the same job as the one I applied for. I think I was rejected due to my 'personality' (no, I turned up to my interview with short hair and in a shirt and tie).

Do you ever feel that the odds are completely stacked against you if you appear a bit 'odd' to others? I think its assumed that if you don't react in precisely the right way to social cues and prompts, you must be some kind of mental liability. A psycho-timebomb ready to blow if something (they don't know what) goes wrong.

The more I live, the less hope I have of ever finding anyone to understand that I'm not a bad person, even if can't perform perfectly to social stimuli. And the older I get, the more I think 'social skills' are actually 'bull***t skills'.

What kind of job are you doing? Do like me, and choose a career where anybody you come in contact with will ALSO be an hopeless introvert , I just tend to be more introvert than them, and I was off the scales before.

The Disordered One wrote:And the older I get, the more I think 'social skills' are actually 'bull***t skills'.

I feel the same.

It seems like authenticity is social kryptonite.

strugglebox wrote:

The Disordered One wrote:And the older I get, the more I think 'social skills' are actually 'bull***t skills'.

I feel the same.

It seems like authenticity is social kryptonite.

Eh... I always sucked in job interviews because of that. I never had shyness issues, but I always had been hyper-rational, matter of fact and gave a completely objective and emotionless list of my skills in interviews. That's nice, but I've been told that in an interview (and pretty much anything social) objectivity is out of the question; it's not a scientific/philosophical debate to know which side is backed by the best evidence. There is nothing objective and everything is subjective. You have to be nice and fluffy, and make sure to say what the other wants to hear, even if it is complete #######4. And be EXPRESSIVE!
But a few years ago, me and emotions/expression were like GW Bush and scientific advancement. (Heck, I think 4 years ago I didn't even have facial expressions when around other people.)

Exactly, by the time you sit in front of the interviewer you are technically 90% qualified for the job, at that point the sole point of the interview is to show you are a person that can get things done. If you cant even try to be social for 20 minutes and show you that he can get the interview done in the way its expected, then he/she will think you are not right for the job. If you think having a good personality is important, then have it AND show it.

The weird part is we keep swimming against the current.

It seems important to be Mr. Affable rather than Mr Competent in most cases. If you practice hard enough you could probably learn to fool someone for 30 minutes or so. I can be affable for 10 minutes maybe. It gets harder after that. I don't have to deal with people for longer than that in most cases at work.

Ikari Shinji wrote:I have found that making eye contact while looking so serious... tends to make some people lose their confidence, which is weird.

Why would it be weird? If somebody made strong eye contact to you while looking serious, would you lose your confidence? Because AvPDs tend to be light on the confidence scale doesn't mean that other people are invulnerable either.

I never had problems faking affability though. I won't be able to chit-chat, as I have like zero knowledge in that domain, but if it is technical and about the job, then I can become quite volubile if I have to. In the past I sometime even became "too" volubile out of fear of appearing mute...

I think the worst thing is to try to act like you have a big personality and can just come across as false and unnatural. People can detect a shy person trying to act like they aren't shy.

My character is very dour and serious. It is a real disadvantage at inverviews when the inverviewer is asking themself "Do I want to work in the same office as this guy?". The only way I feel I can succeed is to be better skilled than the competition. On the other hand living a simple life with no social life, friends, girlfriend etc. means there is plenty of time to improve my skills.

Ok. I'll admit this here. I received a letter on Monday saying I hadn't got the job.

Imagine my surprise at 11am today, when the manager of the place phoned me up asking me if I could start Monday. My guess is their first choice found something better and I was next on the list.

Heh, happened to me once.

I came 2nd in a list of 150 people. Nice ranking! But of course they take the 1st...