trying to get anything going at all?

I am 39 years old. From about the age of 12 or so I began having extremely debilitating anxiety. It peaked at about the age of 17 until about 28. I had horrible acne and I had a lot of cognitive dissonance for a long, long time, so nothing.. nothing ever worked out; from asking women out for dates, to working. I feel I am on the mend to a large extent, as my cognitive abilities are allowing me to understand situations more clearly, most of the time, without upsetting myself. It is very hard however, to deal with the ever encroaching age factor, and I always feel that time is running out for me to correct my life, and being fired from jobs for reasons that I don't understand, and never being able to successfully start a relationship has made my avoidance very bad.
I read books and try to find parallels to my own situation in others on videos online etc, but it's always like: "my partner say's this", or "the job I've been at for 5 years is depressing me". So what about those who have nothing?
I'm sick of other people who have had wive's, husbands, girlfreind, boyfriends, children, PHDs and great jobs in the past telling me I wouldn't understand how bad they feel. I mean, the very saying is 'better too have loved than never having loved at all'.
Has anybody found themselves in this position, or are in this position? I'm hoping that I can dig myself out of this position in time, but man, it's a hard road.

Mate been there, left there and now back there. Honestly don't have any great advice for you right now, but one thing I can tell you is don't become bitter, seen this trate in others and it doesn't end well. Be good to yourself.

Mingus1980 wrote:I'm sick of other people who have had wive's, husbands, girlfreind, boyfriends, children, PHDs and great jobs in the past telling me I wouldn't understand how bad they feel. I mean, the very saying is 'better too have loved than never having loved at all'.

Anyone who wants to compare how bad things are for you with whatever you're going through, is not worth arguing with/spending time defending yourself to them. They don't know your story or what you're dealing with. It's pretty hurtful and invalidating when people do that. I've had people who've lost me at "Well. You think you had it bad..." Feel like telling them its not a competition and I've usually walked away from them/the situation fairly soon after that. There are other people who are far more worthy of your time and energy.