About to start school again

So I'm starting school in a couple weeks and i'm going to be a junior in high school. i'm really nervous b/c im afraid this year will be no different. i'm scared i'll have no close friends (except for one girl), feel uncomfortable, miserable and depressed and go home to a dad who only wants to fix me and a step-mom who's trying to take the place of my mom. that's how it's been every year since 7th grade for me and i'm sick of feeling isolated and angry and repressed. and i really need to get on the ball w/ my grades. because of my "issues" my grades have been pertty mediocre/bad. not trying to sound emo i just wanted to vent.

Highschool isn't a fun place for an avoidant. Every year I was incredibly depressed for the entire month before the new school year started because I loathed going back that much.

All I can say is that it's only a few more years, highschool isn't forever.

yeah but then comes the real world and where will i be then? will i be this way forever? this just isn't me i wasnt like this when i was a kid; i was so outgoing. why am i such a freak now? will i ever get a job or get married or be able to go to a friend's house without worrying what they're going to think or if they reject me?

Hey there, strongworrier!
Your post really hit home with me. I didn't look at your profile but I'm assuming you live in the USA - me too. I'll be a senior this time around.
Like you I was outgoing when I was younger but not now. Unfortunately for introverts, the US is very much an extrovert kind of place. With me, it takes about the first half of the year to feel comfortable...every year so far. What you have to remember is that a majority of high school kids are very immature with little or no regard for the quiet ones among them. The good news is that once you get out of there, you are surrounded by mature adults (although the mature part isn't always a given) who actually have respect for others' boundaries. Perhaps I make no sense, but in earnest I think we both worry about the same things.
As for grades, there's only one solution unfortunately - buckle down and work hard...good grades aren't easy but in your case they may make you a little happier.
Like you my "issues" make me depressed (I also have a step-parent trying to replace the real one). The thing for that is you have to occupy your mind with other things. If you focus on your depression for too long you will become sick - take this from one who knows. Play a computer game, read a book or watch TV - just forget your problems for a while and see what it does for you. Hot showers can also help.
There are other things you can do to help yourself, too, but to keep this short-ish I strongly suggest sedning me a PM.

PS. you don't sound emo, you sound like an intelligent person who has taken the first step toward a better life by acknowledging there is something amiss. and there's no need to apologize for venting - we all do it. i find writing out your frustrations can help sometimes. Hope I helped.