Asking for help

For those of you who are/have recieved treatment for your AvPD, how did you go about getting it? Did you seek professional help on your own, or did you tell friends/family about your problem?

I'm still pretty young, almost 20. I'm legally an adult, but I live at home with my parents so I could go either way.

I remember once, the closest I ever came to telling anybody about my depression(which I later came to learn is the result of my untreated AvPD) I was in school. My junior year I was sitting in class one day, I don't even remember what set it off but my depression was as bad as it has ever been. I stood up and walked out of class. When I got into the hall I burst into tears and I walked 4 miles home, crying the whole way. For about an hour I cried with the phone in my hand trying to think of a way to ask my mom to take me to the doctor, that I needed help. I think I dialed 4 digits before I dropped the phone.

A few days ago I called the government mental health office for some info. I got the number of a treatment center in the area, and the number of some place that would help me pay for it. It took about 10 minutes of crying to recover from that 1 minute phone call. I never called either of the numbers I was given.

It's just so hard to ask for help. I just can't seem to stand the idea of letting anybody know that I have this problem, even if it means suffering in silence. I donno.... I guess I'm just looking for ideas or a bit of confidence in hearing how others have done it.

Hi,

Firstly - at the age of 20 or 21- I went to the college counsellor a few times but my depression failed to lift. Then, I told my mam about it and she made an appointment for me with our local General Practitioner. She put me on an anti-depressant - Lexapro - and booked me in to seee a psychiatrist. I went to the psychiatrist, was diagnosed with OCD & Social Anxiety, and started seeing a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist. That's the way it has been for the past two years but I am no longer on Lexapro and am no longer seeing any professionals.


My advice to you is to - not tell your mother that you are depressed - but to ASK her to arrange an appointment with your lcal doctor. You can even lie about why you want to see the doctor. You could, of course, arrange the appointment yourself if you have some money saved.


Once you make that first move, you will then already feel a bit better.


Kevin.

I would seek out a psychologist who can give you CBT. The problem with doctors and psychiatrists especially, is that they just want to give you drugs and send you on your way. You really need someone to talk to about this stuff. If CBT doesn't help by itself then you can try some kind of medication too.

Firstly I would say its a very good sign that you acknowledge there is something wrong and you are willing to try and do something about it. I would say this is a huge step in itself.

Secondly, not knowing your circumstances, but I dont think you need to ask or tell your mother anything. This is your life and anything you do with it is your business. You say you are legally an adult which suggests perhaps you dont think of yourself as an adult in other ways. The fact is though, you are an adult biologically too. Being an adult, you can enjoy all the freedoms that go along with it. It seems its just the emotional side of things that haven't been sorted out - but you can get help for that - You have the freedom to choose how this will happen. Your parents can choose to be supportive of your decisions or not but dont let them get in the way of what is right for you.

I picked up the yellow pages one day and chose a therapist when I realized things just weren't right. I chose someone that looked like they had been practising for a long time and basically had dedicated their life to the job. I didnt want to end up with someone who was learning their trade on me, and I decided I didnt want a 'counsellor'. I didnt want to be 'counselled', I felt like I needed someone who would, mostly listen and when the time was right, challenge. The type of therapy that works for you depends on the type of person you are. All you have to judge whether things are right for you, are your instincts. My only real advice to you is listen to them carefully.

good luck! Let us know how you get on.

CBT professionnals usually mention it in their Yellow pages ads. I know I would be good CBT candidate but it's too much a huge money gamble and also maybe being stucked with annoying side effects drugs. I'm not bothered enough by my problems to go for it. I still prefer spending my money on stuff I'm sure to get what I paid for...