In a bind, again

Hi everyone,
I've finished high school with good grades but couldn't handle going straight to university due to the constant social interaction.
I had a romantic vision that i would take the year out, get a job and build some social skills before applying next year.
I've finished school for a month now and my parents are pressurising me like hell to find a job, 'just work as a waitress in the restaurant up the road...' if only! this kindof job seems like too much for me because i can just imagine going bright red and shaking when taking orders etc. My parents think i'm lazy, but how can i expect them to understand?
I've compiled a list of various jobs....
library assistant (some social interaction but not intense)
working in elderly home (old people don't intimidate me too much)
receptionist (probably the most difficult)
My ideal job would be helping people to read, but this is usually volunteer stuff and my parents want me to earn money.
For some reason the idea of working with money terrifies me..
Does anyone have any suggestions?
I don't want to work somewhere involving no social interaction, i need to build up some social skills rather than deteriorate and become a recluse.

That's the same type of situation that I was in after school. I went stright to college after high school though - I knew I would never be able to bring myself to go back to school if I took a year off.

I got a chemistry degree and was hoping to get work in some lab all by myself somewhere. It didn't work out like that though.

Maybe you could do some volunteer work to work on your social skills and get some kind of paying job that does not involve too much interaction. I remember my sister got a 3rd shift job cleaning buildings at a university once. that sounded nice and peaceful and quiet.

It's really too bad that your parents don't understand what you are going through. It seems to be that way for many of us.

If you wait tables.. do you think you are going to go bright red and shake everyday? for months? I dont think so. It will last a couple hours, then you will be fine, trust me, you just got to prepare yourself, have a good attitude and thats it.

And get a paying job.

MrBrightside wrote:If you wait tables.. do you think you are going to go bright red and shake everyday? for months? I dont think so. It will last a couple hours, then you will be fine, trust me, you just got to prepare yourself, have a good attitude and thats it.

And get a paying job.

I'm not sure throwing yourself to the wolves like this is helpful for apders.

Wakemeup I can totally identify with the parents not understanding thing. Mine are the same, I just try and turn it into a positive and think well my parents dont bother to understand me. So I'm not gonna make the same mistake with my children, gonna be intuitive and understanding in every way.

I reckon we apders will make ace parents.

wakemeup, be very careful. I found myself in your situation once. Although I'm not out of high school, I too wanted a job in order to "fix" my "social problem" a while back.
First I did something that closely resembled recep. work, then I went to work in a restaurant. Now it might not be the same for you but in my case my feelings of for people never once changed during those months. I hated it all the time I was there and the only regret I have is that I didn't leave sooner...I stayed for the money, which to date has never made me "happy".

It's up to you now. I, myself, am currently hovering between AvPD and SPD (schizoid). I don't roll with the whole drug thing (Medicate my true personality into nonbeing and right off the planet? I don't think so...) so I will never get that "help". However, if it's truly a problem for you then you might want to consider it. If I were in your shoes I'd go with library assistant to ease yourself into the whole social game. DON'T, whatever you do, just jump into the deep end of trying to be social. It will be very stressful and might make you feel worse. imho.

Thanks for the advice, i think i'm definitely going to do the volunteer work and some other part time paid job. I'll keep you posted about how things go. Although i can feel my stomach churning even as i think about it.

Mr brightside, I do think i will hate waiting tables, I haven't gotten over my other phobias of talking aloud in class and being watched doing things, although i've repeatedly exposed myself to these situations.
I'm just curious as to what exactly constitutes a 'good attitude' when everyone around you is effortlessly taking on jobs, university education, relationships & you so desperately want to but can barely summon the courage to walk out of the house?
This kindof careers advisor crap about having a 'good attitude' is not what i care to hear right now.

wow sugarfoot, i know exactly what you mean about the towards other people.
I think you're right about not throwing yourself into an unrealistically social job, I tried that on my work experience for school in which i had to teach children and was constantly watched by this supervisor. I felt terrible and the supervisor thought i was rude and unemotional rather than shy, she only said one positive thing about me in my report which was i had excellent observational skills when i had to observe and write about the children's behavioural problems.
I certainly want a job with a more 'detached' role, but one where i'm not completely isolated. My problem is that if i have a horrible boss, i'll take everything personally and this will make me hate people even more (i tend to overgeneralise)
I am also sceptical about medication, i think the side effects of antidepressants outweigh the benefits. However, I did try beta blockers which block the physical symptoms of embarrassment and shaking, they do help with this but made me permanently tired with chronic headaches. I think i'll give them another try though on the first weeks of my job just to feel more in control.

Well, waiting tables was your idea in the first place, i thought you were considering that too. Some waiting jobs dont require a lot of socializing. But anyway, i still think you should try getting a paying job so you can pay for therapy. Receptionist sounds as much social than waiting tables.

The point is you have to make it a bit of a challenge as you said, if not, become a gravedigger already. :p

lol i actually considered that, or an embalmer
six feet under style

The desensitization of exposing yourself to people works with some people, but not with others. You may find yourself getting more comfortable being around people as time goes on, but it might get worse. I remember when I was in my early 20s and I took a job as a clerk in a busy discount department store. Things did not go well at all and it made me much worse. I finally found a better job in a better situation and that helped me out.