A Tender Suicide Intervention Letter- now in the dark

Hello -
I wrote a response to a poem by a friend suggesting how his death would be and the day of the week. This friend suffers BPD and AvPD and has created a blog to express his suffering anonymously.

We have been writing for 3+ years and have never met in person. I receive notifications of his posts to his private blog (and he is aware and introduced me to it). We have been through a looong learning curve of over-zealous back and forth, genuine liking of each other, desires to be close ( my tendency and his desire), repulsion of the closeness (him) and anxious re-"grasping" (me) in the face of abandonment fears (me and him).
Our recent contact has been more about the creative work we share: photography, poetry and story writing. I recently finished a story and sent him the last part of it. He's been in a painful struggle the last few weeks with ideation of suicide - he is posting it on his blog where he has been posting more frequently lately. It has been a long time since he had posted this much.
We touched base briefly - I checked in with him and he replied that he's been having some "rough weeks". I expressed my support and compassion.
Saturday I sent him the last bit of the story. The next day he posted a pointed, brief poem on his blog about when he would die, what the weather would be like and the effects on "the few" (his friends). The poem had a resolve I have not read on his blog since meeting him...like a certainty.
I was startled by it and , while I usually just express something simple and kind or nothing at all I felt it important that I share how sorrowful it would be for his friends ( including me) to lose him. I tried to make it as tender as possible and about what we/me might feel if he took his life; the loss, the bewilderment and the pain, especially appreciating his unique qualities, talent and generosity--other things, too.
I am writing to all of you to ask for your input. Of course he has not responded to me. I immediately assume not only is he suffering greatly right now but the direct response to his poem may be too overwhelming. I know he needs sensitivity and a lot of room. I'm not concerned about a pre-occupation with being abandoned. I'm just hoping my words came through kindly (I told him the tone of my response so he could check any projection) and I hope I haven't made things even harder. I told him he was appreciated, loved and cared about more than he could see on this difficult day( a particularly painful day of the week for him) and that I was sending him warmth and kindness.
Last thing - I sent him a link to suicide prevention website safe space in case "it might be helpful".
I appreciate anyone's response. I'm trying to trust myself right now but feel sad and worried.
Thanks for patience with the long post.

When I was working at the psych hospital we just called mental health screeners when someone visiting said they were suicidal. It's pretty draining to deal with people like that all the time. When it was a patient we called the shrink.

march_hare wrote:while I usually just express something simple and kind or nothing at all I felt it important that I share how sorrowful it would be for his friends ( including me) to lose him. I tried to make it as tender as possible and about what we/me might feel if he took his life; the loss, the bewilderment and the pain, especially appreciating his unique qualities, talent and generosity--other things, too.

Have you asked him what you can do for him? Your response to his poem was all about what he could do for you (not die). While obviously well intended, to the suicidal, those kinds of words go in one eye and out the other. It's a completely different kind of state of mind to be in. Delusional and numb, a bad combination. And you say he has BPD?

If you're really worried, do you know anyone in his life you can contact and ask to keep an eye on him? Do you know his address? If a crisis should occur, sometimes the most efficient thing to do is call the cops.