maladapted to this stupid life

Hi everyone,
I haven't posted on here with my usual neurotic complaint for a while because i've been so busy with exams.
My problem is I just can't handle them, the whole fear of failure thing is so acutely tied up in them that I end up doing much worse than my actual capabilities outside the exam room suggest.
It isn't just social situations anymore; i have this vague generalised anxiety dominating my entire life. I get anxious about my appearance, exams, my health, food, sleep, driving, anything & everything you can think of.
I know that when my exams are over, i will not be relieved, i'll have some other crap to worry about like getting a job which requires minimal social skills.
I'm watching everyone around me with their effortless lives (within reason) & I'm here with my stupid life dominated by neurosis. I think why the hell is this happening to me? i'm such a good person, i'm a million times more considerate and less ignorant than your average mindless extrovert. But then i realise there isn't any external force to reward the good people in life, the worst part is i'm just responsible for my own downfall.
Does anyone else feel their avoidance/ anxiety seeping into other areas of their life?

Bad things happens to nice people you know, and the good die young . If you look around you will see a lot of things in this world that is some times the oposite of what it should be. This is just an unfortunate fact of human nature and life we must just try to live with. Some would maybe say they can't live with it . Regarding anxiety I would think it would effect all areas of life. If your generally a sensitive person you will have issues.

I can relate a bit to what you say. I don't have fear or rejection in the exam room. But searching for a job and all the rejections and so just keep me busy so much that I can't free my head. And that's what I need to study. I have an exam next week, and I just know chances are minimal, because I haven't been able to study, despite I have had more than enough time. I just hope I don't talk myself down after doing the exam.

i can totally relate..
anxiety, my love...
always here, alive and kicking...
prevent me from having healthy relationships,
scared to death to find a job and interact with other people..
avoid even my friends..
is it something you can say in a job interview??
i am a great person, but i am mentally ###$ up...
so don't be suprised if i freeze sometimes, and want to escape and disapear..
i wished i did'nt have this..i would trade this curse for..i don't know...any non debiliting disorder...
have been home all day, scared...anxious, wanted to be alone,a nd not wanted to be alone, wanted to reach out and avoiding people's phone calls...

it is so scary to tell your friends that you feel like you re loosing your mind, and that you don't kow what to do about it..
they will say, we're all in the same boat etc... because they think of their own fears..
but i don't deny their fears..but they don;t know...
they have no ideas that our fear are ten times stronger, irrationnal
as for extrverted people, they don't know their chances..they might have other issues...but the one that prevent you from being with other people..isnt' it the worst?

sometimes i think my friends think i am selfish, self centered...and they re right...
but i really wish i cpould get out of my head, of myself, i could just open up and be in the world...no fears, not the nut in my stomack, the fear no thought can erase or calm down...
nothing and nobody can stop it... even not myslef...
never ends...never stop...

unless...

Unless what?

talk to us, babe.

Well it's always nice to get a true response from someone, rather than patronising comments.
Do you think we may have generalised anxiety disorder, as well as avoidant traits?
I think the general anxiety does stem from the avoidance, it must be all interconnected somehow because i didn't have the strong anxiety about everything until recently (the past yr or 2)
Yes i tried explaining it to my friend recently & she just looked at me blankly, my mum's response is 'oh everyone gets stressed sometimes' but i'm like NO- alllll the time!!. I think it has something to do with needing control in my life, but ultimately it's just debilitating.

Hey wakemeup. I can relate to much of what you are saying. I struggle with a fair bit of anxiety, and I can agree with you that it is related to my avoidant traits. I'm not sure that avoidance creates my anxiety, or that I cope with my anxiety by being avoidant. It's probably all intertwined.

Sometimes, I am so anxious and my mind is going so quickly that I fear I am going crazy. At times I almost feel like I am detached from the world. I don't like feeling like that. I haven't told anyone I know that I feel this way. I feel like they would look at me like I'm a wacko, or that I would worry them.

I haven't taken any drugs for anxiety, though I have considered doing so many times. I am leaning towards the idea that my thoughts and beliefs create my anxiety, and that avoidance is simply a neurotic coping device. If I can make my thoughts and beliefs more healthy, then my theory is that I will have less anxiety and therefore more able to abandon my avoidant ways.

I guess I am of the opinion that psychotherapy will work for me. I've seen a therapist for 6 months or so, and that's finished. I have been working solo through some books and trying to change my beliefs and thoughts through daily practise. I can say that my general sense of well-being and ability to socialize has improved dramatically in the past two years. When I grow anxious, I am better able to talk myself down and become less anxious. It's hard work though, and often I just want to throw in the towel and admit myself into a loony bin.

I'm in solidarity with you. This stuff sucks. Here's a hug if you need it, I know I do.