Whats the difference between ... ?

Between shyness(social phobia and avoidant personality disorder ?...thx [

The way I understand it, it's something like this...

Beer : Shyness :: Vodka : AvPD

hottyfem wrote:Between shyness(social phobia and avoidant personality disorder ?...thx [

I am sure you will get lots of responses to this, the main difference from my point of view is that i am not just afraid of social interaction, I am not so afraid of that anymore because i have passed that point, i dont feel the need.

what i do is avoid situations that put me in a position of anxiety, where i have to make any decision such as phoning someone or going for an interview.

I think people are judging me and i will fail to do or say the right thing. I watch peoples' body language, speech, eyes for signs of disapproval and i also try to control myself and what i say. Sometimes i blurt things out because i am trying so hard not to offend, i often do!. (people liken it to Tourettes!) i can come across as quite curt.

I avoid any firm relationships because i fear being dependant or having too much asked of me. That is a really big one for me, i cannot bear the idea of not having my own space and having someone in my face, in my life, in my head.

There is the underlying feeling of lack of self worth, a very difficult feeling to overcome with the best will in the world.

A beliefs inventory I have recently completed outlined my irrational beliefs. i scored a 10 on 'You should feel fear or anxiety about anything that is unknown,uncertain or potentially dangerous' Umm That about sums it up.

I agree with Linda. What I've figured out so far is that a fobia is more like a fear to some things that you can overcome. For instance fear of water or fear of going on the street.

Someone who has a fobia can get over it, by doing it 3 or more times and find out that in the end there's nothing to fear about and they get then have overcome their fear and thus their fobia.

Avoidants don't fear water or a phone, they fear for the reaction or the way other people are thinking about them.

It's not the phone that is my problem, it's the person on the other end of it. And basicly the problem isn't even the person, but it's what I think that the person is thinking about me.

Like me for ınstance i dont let the chance for someone to get to know me very well...i dont knowwww whats wrong wıth me anyway...i can say i am very sensetive to crıtısızım like if it hurts me i can cry!...and i made a frıend like and he knows me very well and he tryes to ıntruduce me to other frıends of hım ı always not end up goıng and now i dont see hım at all......i feel lonely and empty inside....i want to be wıth people however there is somethıng that i dont know whıch ı avoid people....and i dont even know whatit is!....psychologıst say that is socıal phobıa ....

i want to have frıends a lot....but i cannot and thats what pisses me off....i talk all the tıme from msn and when they say they lıke me adn want to meet i say no thx..i dont want to dissapoınt them like i am and ıdıot ı cant even be very relaxed ın socıal ınteractions.socially inept foır sure..........People wont like me .İ always listen to others conversation and the way they talk( laud the way they do eye contact they feel relaxed they laugh) its amazıng..How can they do that i dont understand..and i would gıve anythıng to be in their place!....But unfurtunately i am not....and never be!..

Hi, hottyfem! Sorry for intruding, but maybe you just need to take it one small step at a time. Why don't you tell your friend what bothers you and maybe he'll understand. You could tell him that you want to have other friends, but you just need to take it slow.
It's very important that you want to be with people and have friends, that's really the most important step, I think

If you avoid, you're avoidant and if you blush you're shy.

I'm repeating pretty much what have been said:
I think social phobia is anxiety that people get in meeting new people and being pressured to make good impressions. I think most people have it on different degrees. But it's just a nuisance, it's not preventing them from doing thing.

APD people will just do anything to not be negatively judged because of fear of rejection. As a result they end up looking lame and being isolated(what they wanted to avoid in the first place). The best way to do it remains to "avoid" being put in the judging situation in the first place so missing up opportunities. Explaining why it's having more greater impacts on their life than just social phobia...