Being Nice and Achievement

I saw this in myself before but I never put much thought into it before. Do you guys ever feel like, when you do have the chance to talk to someone, you appear exceedingly nice and friendly? Like you act like you have known them for your entire life? It's not even a conscious thing to do, it's almost subconsciously done. I'm not sure how to describe it.

I gave some thoughts into it, thinking that maybe being nice was part of unreasonable quality I gained to keep myself from feeling the shame or speaking in such odd manner? I say this because I seem to refuse bringing out my inner emotions. Even if I may want to emote words or in action, I just don't do it. I'm scared to show it or even say it, so I always appear nice.

And I read on Wikipedia about under-acheivers. I feel like I would fit into this perfectly. I remember how in our classes, we had to present our work in front of the class and explain in detail about certain topic. I remember the near panic attack I had, finding a way to run from it. It was easier when I was able to do a personal meeting with a Professor who took her time in listening to me but even then, I was scared. Not only this though, schools require class participation as part of the curriculum. I refuse to raise my hand to ask question. The teacher had its way in finding students from the roster to call certain people in the class because there is fewer to no people raising their hands to question. I seem to be picked in this lottery, a lot. Or once or twice feels a lot to me.

And if school wasn't enough for under-acheivement, I have always wanted to be known for hard-working, determined individual but that is always destroyed by my contrary thought and depression. I remember, my first and only job at a store that required lots of personal communications with the boss and the other "associates." Not only the associates that I had to speak with but the customers frequently came asking us questions. Under a severe force from my parent to work, I chose that (and a wrong job at that.) In it, I was frequently ridiculed by my superviser that I am doing "lack" of work, or that I am always talking, or that I am always standing around in the corner from everybody with other loners. If I did work, no #####& would see my work! All they care is to ridicule my ass because, what do you know, I'm probably not "normal."

One thing I hate the most is constantly being criticised. I do love being lonely and avoid such things in life or not experience at all. The comfort of my room is as great as Beethovens 9th Symphony (maybe?).

Do you guys ever feel like you do not do well in your life?

All the time.. My mind seems to handle criticism/praise with some sort of "rachet effect." That is, criticism (even constructive criticism or friendly suggestions) always ruin my mood the rest of the day, but praise and compliments (no matter how positive they are) cannot seem to turn back the depression caused by the criticism. To make matters worse, praise tends to make me somewhat uncomfortable as well. I guess my reasoning behind that is that once I've been praised for doing something good, I feel like a standard has been set and if I don't live up to it in the future, I will be heavily criticized. By the context of your message, I'm guessing you're in high school or college. High school was an absolute living nightmare for me. I went to bed so many times literally hoping I wouldn't wake up the next morning. High school is probably what drove me to do the dressing-to-scare-people-away thing that I still do now.

(I may be a little off-topic here)
I remember my last months in high school. My mind was so out of there and already in college. I was so glad to get out of that morons house and get into college where everybody just minds his/her own business and teachers just gives their class the old fashion way and don't try a fancy-hippie active participation type of class. But another reality comes back quick when you realizes you totally lost ability to connect with other people even out of the high school nuthouse. I guess you just can't put those crappy years consciously behind, it will follow you a little like those who made war...

I really don't know what I'm gonna do the day I receive an invitation for a high school reunion. I don't think I'll be comfortable to get into that crowd again but on other hand I risk missing the psychological pleasure to see people I hated ending up with crappy jobs and looking fatter...

Gsf-600 wrote:I really don't know what I'm gonna do the day I receive an invitation for a high school reunion. I don't think I'll be comfortable to get into that crowd again but on other hand I risk missing the psychological pleasure to see people I hated ending up with crappy jobs and looking fatter...

Just make sure the you're not the fat guy with the crappy job before you go.

high school reunions, i think most avoidants would pass on them

My social anxiety has definitly held me back in life. I've found myself issolated and unable to form relationships. My lack of ability to communicate with my instructures has caused many hoops for me in my academic success. I desperatly wish I could have friends, that I could find that special someone, and that I could just be part of the community but social anxiety puts up barriers.

I've found that it helps to know that social anxiety has also made me stronger and by facing these things there have been gains. I wish that it wasn't the case...some days I can't even see why I'm staying in the game...but I know that I'm in a fight and that it's up to me to take back control of my life and make changes.