ugh, venting

I know I am overreacting, but things like this really get me down and slow me down and depress me, and make me feel really miserable. And I have noone to vent to right now. I missed class today because I fell asleep. Why oh why did I decide to take a nap. I want to shoot myself. Every lecture is super important if I want to do well on the final. This is the second time I've missed one, and now I will have to ask someone at my discussion section for notes, which I'm not comfortable doing. I skipped asking about the first lecture I missed, cuz I thought oh well its just one lecture. But its two now and I have no choice but to ask. Besides, I have to find a photocopy machine in that old building that works, a copy card with enough money in it, etc. This is so not good. I want to quit college and go off to live in a jungle. Hopefully one with recognizable apple trees cuz I don't know how to forage or hunt.

I know the feeling. I woke up late for work once and I was in an awful mood for the rest of the week. I felt like never going back there again so I wouldn't have to face their accusing glares. In fact, that's why I quit my last job: I overslept two days in a row and I couldn't bring myself to go back there, apologize, and focus on my job.

I guess the whole AvPD thing about being hypersensitive to criticism works for and against us. For example, I get in a withdrawn/depressed mood if someone gives me any sort of negative comment, even if it's for my own good or if they're the one doing something wrong. On the other hand, there's no limit to how far I'll go to avoid criticism, so I'm always told that I'm a really good worker.

adelia, don't quit college. I did and it doesn't do anything but bad.

Try not to quit college.

It didn't change much for me. I've been sitting at home for 3 years now (almost 4). I'm just feeling guilty about not having a job, my parents paying for everything. I don't want to go outside because I could bump into an acquaintance who might ask what I'm doing these days. Try explaining that you've been unemployed for 4 years, and you're not currently applying or even looking for a job. Try explaining that you sit on the computer all day in your room all alone. Try explaining that you have no plans for the future.

I'm not trying to scare you, but I don't think an environment will ever be bearable to people like us. Much like you said, living in a jungle would bring its own set of trouble, not much better than it is now. No matter what situation, our senses probably will always pick up things that makes us feel bad.

BlueShift wrote:Try not to quit college.

I second that. People tend to demonize those who put most of their energy on their career but for someone who can't have a "normal" social life all this free time that can be put into something productive can be a lifesaver. I noticed that the days I feel really fullfilled are those I put long hours at work solving something challenging me and keeping my mind totally away from other sides of my life. Having a good challenging job may not get the "lonely" feeling away but it sures help A LOT about self-esteem and depression.

It's always a matter of focusing the brain elsewhere. Having too much time to think is a bad and destructive thing for people like us..