Social skill sets!

So, I started working with David D. Angelo's stuff about 7 years ago; Double you're dating; Approaching Women; Being funny; Cocky comedy DVD's and other vast stuff on Youtube that builds support for someone trying to re-learn how to approach people and ask out for coffee or dates or friendships!

Ive asked people for coffee dates 20 times in the last several months! I asked out 2 women today!

I have a friend that I go to coffee with every week; I ask him every morning at a meeting, if he wants to have coffee that morning; he works so he laughs and says no! Accept on that one day we go out and have coffee! We go out one day a week and have coffee! the rest is practicing!

Skill sets;

First, I get better by practicing and not quitting!

20/80 rule! at first, I don't know what Im doing accept what I read in a book, got from a DVD, or saw on Youtube; concerning how to approach people, and ask them out to coffee! so, At first Im unconfident and scared and I bungle the whole thing! and this goes on for about 80% of the time until I get enough experience under my belt and my confidence gets better!

Some areas of concern; when you start getting better; you get over confident! I get the impression, some people are saying yes to me when they really want to say no! This is OK! It's their stuff! Im just practicing! And thats the way it looks and thats the way it is and thats OKe!

At first Im the victim; and want the other person to make all the decision! ' Hi, would you like to have coffee, you pick when and where and how please"! This generally does not work! It's not confident; but, you have to get started! Its better to tell them you are taking them to coffee! And ask them at what time tomorrow or next week they have available! You take control or lead! They can say no; Im just suggesting you lead!

Anyway; Im at this point of learning how to not be pushy in the middle of these invites! Not seem to needy and not freak out if the other person seems to reject me and say no or seems dis interested! Its part of the challenge of asking people out or getting to know someone as a friend! Im dealing with people! And it is very unpredictable!

Keep it rolling!

When I am pushy and indifferent and impersonal and just ask to have coffee like a machine spitting out a response; people feel used! yet, I am using them! One has to show some interest in the person; not what they can do for me! One has to show some interest in the person, not just getting them into a ritual for my benefit! " Gee, thanks for letting me use you for my needs again, Im OK, are you?"! Poeple don't like being used!

Its easy to get compulsive and needy about asking people out! Its like asking someone for help! they help you, and you spit on them; then walk out! Thats how it feels to them!

Other problems; Ive asked out the same women several times for coffee! Im not interested in dating her! they might say yes; but they know you don't want them that way

The answer; experience! and that is the number one answer!

The more experience i gain from asking people out; the better I get at smoothing out the rough edges!