What to do?

Okay, so I'm quite confused and fearful about therapy. I don't know how severe my condition is, but I know that I'm completely isolated in college (second year), I have zero social support apart from immediate family (I'm much less inhibited and shy around them, but I'm equally less likely to self-disclose to them), I don't make any effort to socialize anymore, I'm very self-conscious, and always nervous about other's thoughts and potential judgments. I've had these avoidant habits for years (19 now), things have gotten worse in many ways but I am maturing in other ways. I'm visibly nervous and I feel like I affect people with this "aura of discomfort" where people seem to just shut up or become uncomfortable around me. I've never held a job apart from a stay-at-home web design job for a parent's friend.

Firstly, I want to know if university counselors help, because I just have a feeling it doesn't in my case, particularly with my core issue of having trouble verbalizing my thoughts. I've had some counseling in early high school, but it didn't help.

Would it be more helpful to just get a psychological evaluation first? What kind of psychologist should I seek in this case (I'm in Canada btw, which I heard has less support for PDs)? I'd honestly like to know the exact condition I have first, I mean, who knows if I have AvPD, SAD, SPD, OCPD, heck even ASD.
Would medicine help with my anxiety?

Another option would be to make online friends or seek online therapy. It could be a very good way for me to overcome my fear of self-disclosure and at least build up written conversation skills, and maybe eventually verbal if I build up enough trust.

What about self-therapy? self-initiated CBT and exposure therapy? Or could it lead to even more bitterness if I don't feel prepared enough and if I haven't thought of ways to be less visibly anxious and uncomfortable? I guess a lot of distorted thought patterns and irrational beliefs can be overcome through reading books and just talking to people, not necessarily therapists. And social/ communication skills as well, could be just a matter of building up over time.

I just want to get through undergrad and get my degree (switching to CS, so I'm making up some math courses this term), but I'm very unsure about how successful I'd be in doing that in my current state, as I know it's a stressful major, plus there's a required course involving presentations and probably a few involving group work.

Has anyone been in my position, and what did you do?

First off, I'm not at all the right person to ask, I'm also trying to find some counseling and I find it too hard to tell anyone.
The most important thing is obviously get a diagnosis and find someone who knows about exactly what you're going trough.
I don't really know if university counseling is good, it depends on the country, money, universit... But they'll probably be at least able to send you to someone who can treat what you have.

Hope I helped a bit, get better; I'm going through OCD and I also have a lot of trouble.
Get better please.

Adversid wrote:
Would it be more helpful to just get a psychological evaluation first? What kind of psychologist should I seek in this case (I'm in Canada btw, which I heard has less support for PDs)? I'd honestly like to know the exact condition I have first, I mean, who knows if I have AvPD, SAD, SPD, OCPD, heck even ASD.

You are not likely to get a real answer there. You can go to 5 different people and get 5 different diagnoses.

Adversid wrote:Would medicine help with my anxiety?

If you go to a GP you will probably get a scrip for an SSRI - which is worthless imo. Some more adictive stuff might help - in the short term. But things like benzos stop working after a while and then you're addicted.

Adversid wrote:Another option would be to make online friends or seek online therapy. It could be a very good way for me to overcome my fear of self-disclosure and at least build up written conversation skills, and maybe eventually verbal if I build up enough trust.

What about self-therapy? self-initiated CBT and exposure therapy? Or could it lead to even more bitterness if I don't feel prepared enough and if I haven't thought of ways to be less visibly anxious and uncomfortable? I guess a lot of distorted thought patterns and irrational beliefs can be overcome through reading books and just talking to people, not necessarily therapists. And social/ communication skills as well, could be just a matter of building up over time.

I just want to get through undergrad and get my degree (switching to CS, so I'm making up some math courses this term), but I'm very unsure about how successful I'd be in doing that in my current state, as I know it's a stressful major, plus there's a required course involving presentations and probably a few involving group work.

Has anyone been in my position, and what did you do?

I didn't have much trouble getting a degree, but I couldn't get a job after graduating. You have to network and interview which I couldn't do. You can read about the theory of CBT - that might help right there. Then you have to go out and interview and network. If you still can't then you would have to speak to a psychologist.

I am also 19 and have met with two counselors and a psychiatrist at my university. I received a diagnosis (SAD) and assistance withdrawing from school last semester, but have not changed or improved much at all.

It's partially my fault because I have trouble setting any clear goals for the sessions. Often I have little to nothing to say and the counselor has to keep prodding me with questions (they don't like this I guess.) I feel like I reveal too much about myself in these sessions but my current counselor says I give very little to go on. The issue with verbalizing thoughts - weekly meetings to just talk with someone has helped this. Personally I think I ought to keep a journal, much less painful.

If the counseling is free for you I don't think it is bad to try. You can always bail out anyways.