'personality disorder' inescapable?

the label 'personality disorder' seems so all encompassing because its not just a phobia or depression but your entire personality ruled by this problem.
Does this mean we can never overcome avoidance & just settle for controlling it?

Seems to me like it’s always something we will deal with. Although, I believe that once we understand ourselves better some of the more positive aspects of APD could be considered a benefit; things like sensitivity to others feelings, and being an overall more courteous and aware person.

Yeah, I'd have to say so.

I like your name "Wake me Up". I've been waiting for someone to wake me up for years.

NO!
Everyone has a personality style or styles; a personality disorder occurs when you're so set in your style that it interferes with your life. AvPDs have an underlying "sensitive" (I think?) style, which is not a bad thing at all. It's only when you become so set in your ways that it causes problems for you that you get the label of personality disorder. You actually can learn skills that make you more flexible and less disordered. Will you always be extra sensitive? Probably. Will you always be disordered? Not necessarily.

My husband has (well had, actually) borderline personality disorder. He's still impulsive, still has a temper, still has moments of complete self-loathing...but he has learned sufficient coping skills now that his psych says he no longer fits the diagnosis of BPD.

The trouble w/AvPD? Well, we're avoidant. How do you get over it? Therapy, most would say. I bet I'm not the only one out there avoiding the shrink b/c it requires me to pick up the phone and schedule an appointment...or b/c going requires me to expose my inner thoughts. We tend to avoid the very thing that would help us most. Of course, if we didn't, we probably wouldn't need to go in the first place.

I think it can be overcome. It just relies on you becoming confident in yourself. If you feel your problem is because of the way you look, then maybe a change or surgery is required. Otherwise, unless you blindly think that somethings wrong with you but there isnt. Or maybe some avoidants are very very good looking and yet still feel as insecure and avoidant as anyone.

I agree with boosnark who described the difference between the personality style and the disorder. I believe, if I strip away those tendencies, beliefs, behaviours and views that lie at the root of my avoidance, that I can overcome it. Have already started and fit the AvPD diagnosis much less than two years ago.

wakemeup wrote:the label 'personality disorder' seems so all encompassing because its not just a phobia or depression but your entire personality ruled by this problem.
Does this mean we can never overcome avoidance & just settle for controlling it?

It seems to me to be counterproductive to try to control our personality. I'm self conscious enough as it is.

On the other hand, if you convince yourself that you are a victim you will submit yourself to the 'disorder' allowing it to control you.

Don't call it a disorder unless it is causing a problem. Identify the problem and try to fix that specific problem. Don't let anybody tell you that you shouldn't be the way you are when there aren't any problems.