Am I AvPD? And do I need help?

I am currently a senior in high school. For years I haven't had a good friend, and have experienced rejection my whole life. I have only ever gained friends when i moved to a new location, such as a new school, or organization i tried to be part of.

But i've always managed to lose these friends, mainly because for some reason i tend to let them go. For the past 2 years i have had zero friends, but always made it my goal to have them.

I tend to be a very quite person, even around my family in many cases (even though me and my family are close). In school i say "Hi" to people that im acquainted to. I sit at lunch with them as well, but i rarely talk.

Recently there are two girls in my German class that have been talking to me, and even told me that they wanted to hang out sometime. A few weeks ago they asked me if i wanted to hang out with them on Saturday night, and i said yes. For some reason it never happened. Then i've been asking them to hang out on weekends, but they always have something going on. Everytime this "rejection" happens i take it very personally, thinking that they perhaps really don't want to be my friends. One of them i really like alot (I am male btw, if you havent figured it out yet), but when the opportunity arises i don't know what to say. I'm afraid that i'll never
become friends with them, or become even more with the one girl.

I also have ADHD (for which i have recieved treatment in my early childhood, and I no longer even need medication, as I can now do very well in school without it), and i have OCD which ive managed to
learn to control in public, and when around other people.

So do I need help, and if so how do I even start getting it?

It certainly sounds like AvPD. But the usual caveats apply: I'm no expert, I'm not qualified to diagnose you (especially when there are other disorders involved), and those who are will want to talk to you in person first.

You said it has been your goal to have friends, but you haven't succeeded in the past 2 years. If you can't achieve your goal by yourself, then by definition you need help.

Try talking to a school counselor if your school has one. Otherwise try your GP. Those people should be able to help you or to refer you to more specialized help. Do your parents know about your problem? Talk to them first, because they or their health insurance will probably be the ones paying for a therapist or psychiatrist if you are referred to one.

If you feel unable to talk about it with anyone, first I urge you to try harder. As a last resort, you might try to solve your problem on your own using self-help books aimed at overcoming social phobia. I personally haven't tried any, so I can't recommend specific titles. I'm sure others here can.

I'm sorry but I don't know what advice to give you regarding your specific situation with the girls.


Good luck