how to tell my psychiatrist?

I'm being treated right now for bipolar disorder... how do I bring up my avoidant symptoms? I'm so afraid he's going to think I'm lying or make fun of me or just tell me I'm wrong or something! I don't know if I can bring it up but I just feel so so lonely and afraid and I'm supposed to go back to a new college in a few weeks and I don't know if I can do it. Does anyone have any suggestions? How did you open up to your psychiatrist?

ciaolavida wrote:I'm being treated right now for bipolar disorder... how do I bring up my avoidant symptoms? I'm so afraid he's going to think I'm lying or make fun of me or just tell me I'm wrong or something! I don't know if I can bring it up but I just feel so so lonely and afraid and I'm supposed to go back to a new college in a few weeks and I don't know if I can do it. Does anyone have any suggestions? How did you open up to your psychiatrist?

I didn't even know about AvPD until my therapy was finished, so I never got a chance to talk to my therapist about it. I do find this interesting,

I'm so afraid he's going to think I'm lying or make fun of me

This is the problem I think with diagnosing someone with AvPD - because we are so worried about being judged negatively, so we don't share the whole truth of our struggle. I know when I was in therapy, there were things I wanted to share but I was also afraid my therapist would think I was making it up just so I could stay in therapy.

As a suggestion, perhaps you could preface a talk about your avoidant struggles with the truth, that you are afraid to share certain things in case he judges you or doesn't believe you, but you have real concerns. He should assure you that he will listen objectively and make you feel comfortable and safe about sharing.

I used to write down things I wanted to share so I wouldn't forget or lose my train of thought, and bring the list in and go through point by point. I admit I didn't want to be a burden with my therapist, so I never shared everything I needed help with. But I wish that I hadn't worried so much. I might have been privy to much needed resources.

Maybe you can share the characteristics of AvPD from this site and show them to your therapist, and put a check beside every one you relate to.

I hope you get the courage to talk to your therapist about this.

Ok so it's tomorrow... 16 more hours till I have to talk about it. I'm trying to take your advice and it's playing over and over in my head, what I'm going to say. I can't breathe though, I am so anxious about talking about it it's just ridiculous!!!

Good luck!

If you have a halfway decent therapist... no, a 1% decent therapist, he won't laugh at you. He's paid to do what you need him to... listen without judging. I think a good shrink isn't even making value judgments when they hear you, they are thinking "why does he/she think that way... what makes them feel that?" So, his first reaction should be "I wonder what made you so avoidant and nervous about your surroundings." They try to see the big picture.

If you aren't upfront and honest, it makes it harder for them to see what you're dealing with and therefore MUCH harder to help you. They are mind detectives, and a good therapist should have a real drive to get the answers to your problems... you can't do that if you are bogged down judging people. Seriously, don't worry that he will react unfavorably to your revelation... tell him how much it bothers you that you feel avoidant--that will get his attention right away if he doesn't already see it.

ok, sorry I have one more question! I'm thinking of just printing this out and giving it to him to read, I think that may be a lot easier for me. Do you all think that's a bad idea? I don't know if I actually have social anxiety or avoidant personality or what this is, but i just need help. Do you all mind reading it and letting me know what you think??

Here it is:
I’m afraid to bring this up to Dr. Brine because he may not believe me, or worse, he may say I’m just really shy or, like Dr. Thomas, extremely introverted. And it just feels so much worse than that. Plus when I start talking about it I know I’ll get so nervous that I won’t even know what to say next, and just end up sounding like an idiot. It may seem to him impossible because when I first came in I was so open and cheerful, which I do seem to be in a hypomanic state, but I’ve only been experiencing that off and on for the past two months, and that personality is the exact opposite of mine the past 20 years. I get easily embarrassed and am afraid of people's responses so I don't really want to talk about this, but my anxiety has gotten too terrible to deal with alone. I have always been very shy, quiet, and anxious around people. I can remember times from most years when I have felt a lot of anxiety, but it has gotten so bad that I want to avoid people all together. I don't know if I can go to (new college) where I will be surrounded by all those people my age, trying to make friends and forge normal relationships once again. I have never felt like I fit in and it makes it hard for me to try to make friends, and I hate seeing normal happy people, only because I'm jealous of their normalcy. I always think that people are staring at me, judging me. I'm afraid to talk because I may say something stupid, and to be honest, never know what to say anyway. My first year in college was fun in some ways because I spent it drinking at parties, which eased my nerves and let me feel "normal" for a change. Then I got drugged, scared, and realized it wasn't actually me. This past year I had a single and hated even coming out of my room. Even around my "friends" I was constantly on guard, worried about what I might say or do, or what they may be thinking of me. It got to the point where I tried to leave my room to go to the bathroom only when I didn't hear someone in the halls I would have to pass. Now I just want to just hide in my room for the rest of my life. I'm only comfortable with my family, so when I'm out with them I'm alright with the protection of someone I'm comfortable with, but once I'm out in public alone I can't handle it. I hate talking on the phone so much, I used to not answer when my friends called but now I turn my cell phone off completely and just tell them I lost it. When I get emails from old friends at (old college) I dread having to respond to them, and wonder how long I can put it off. It's so sad to me because I have always dreamed of what having normal relationships would be like, but know that I will never be able to have them with this anxiety. Just thinking about going to (my new college), first off makes me sick. Then I start to get tight-chested and find it hard to breathe. Ultimately I just want to cry, scream, and destroy something or myself because the anxiety and loneliness become too unbearable. I try to bite down on my tongue to stop the pain. I find myself wishing I could be hospitalized rather than go to college, which all seems pretty ridiculous, but I honestly don’t know if I can make it.

Ok do you think he will think I'm completely ridiculous?? How will he respond?! AHH! I can't wait for this to be over

I think that's a GREAT idea. Take this to him.. the whole thread if you like. I think he'll probably say that he's glad you brought it up, but he'll definitely start asking questions... detective work. Like how long you've felt this way, what triggers it... I don't know, but probably things like that.

You shouldn't worry... I'm sure it'll be just fine. There's a poem I like that says, "most fears are born of dark imaginings." In other words, we make the littlest things into big monsters in our minds. ((((((HUGS)))))) You can do it!

Give it to him, why not? I would bet anything he wouldn't think you were being ridiculous. He would be concerned. And he would help you. When I shared even a little with my therapist, she never ridiculed me. She was always concerned and said as much.

Again, good luck tomorrow!

Guesss what!! He said it sounded like "pretty severe social anxiety" and I got clonazepam! I don't even care what the diagnosis is, I'm just so happy to have antianxiety drugs, I could cry

ciaolavida, I am SOO proud of you! The great accomplishment here is that you opened up and talked about it even though you were afraid. Just remember this whenever you're scared to talk openly with your therapist. He is obviously supportive and didn't ridicule you. Apparently, you don't have to be avoidant with him. Use that to help you in situations with other people when you're scared to talk to someone. This is a big step for you, and I am VERY excited that you took it. Congrats!