adult adhd

hi i'm just wondering if anyone could tell me their story about having adhd as an adult. in particular i wanted to hear from those who may not have been diagnosed as children.

i myself believe i may have it and i'm seeing a psychologist in a few days. going to ask them what they think. i am 24 and have never been diagnosed with it. i have seen a psychologist once before and they thought i had traits of avoidant PD and borderline PD. after doing some research i think i fit into some of the symptoms of both but i dont think my symptoms are severe enough to actually have thgose disorders. someone suggested i read about adult adhd and when i did i was amazed to find i fit most of the symptoms.

as a child i was very active and practically bouncing off the walls. i have always been fairly intelligent but have failed to do very well at school, especially in the subjects i found boring. its like i simply couldnt focus on things if i wasnt completely interested in them. i knew how to do the work but wouldnt do it. i often got in trouble for mucking around in class and at home, talking too much, not sitting still etc. i found group work very hard because i would always be impatient with other people and would interrupt them. this impatience also caused me to have a very short fuse and i still do although these days i dont show it to other people, i am more likely to go away from others and punch a wall or something. wheni wasa kid i would lash out and hit other kids if i was bullied or teased. this often got me into trouble. i also remember always havingtrouble concerntrating on reading. i could read a sentence 5 times and not absorb a single word. my mind would be thinking of other things as i was readingthe words or if there were others around i would be easily distracted by their conversations etc.

nowas an adult i still have difficulties reading. i love to read though but usually if something doesnt grab me straight away then i just cant be bothered. its the same in conversation with other people. i can have whole conversations and never even knowwhat was said because my mind is wandering. i also get bored easily if what they are saying isnt completely interesting to me. i also often say stupid thingswhich i regret saying later. often insult people without meaning to, just because i feellike i have to be honest and findit hard to pretend to think one way when i really think another. i think i have adapted to this over the years by avoiding talking to people and keeping my mouth shut as much as i can. i am also very impatient with others. i cant stand having to wait around with people or to wait my turn in a conversation etc.

i also find that even when i am sitting still, i always jiggle my leg or tap a penor something. i find it very hard to just sit and watch tv or relax. i am always multi tasking.

i couldgo on and on but this is already really long. does anyone have any insight on my story? should i get my psychologist to assess me? i am worried they will think i am just after the medication becausei do have some substance abuse history although not with those type of drugs, more with downer type drugs. i would actually be reluctant to take the medication although it may help me in my studies at art college and to be a better worker. thanks for reading

I was diagnosed in high school and given ritalin. I didn't believe I had it and refused to take medication because it made my heart race. I don't think ritalin was right for me. I never had the hyperactivity, as many females don't.

It wasn't until I was in my late 20's and my husband pointed it out to me. He noticed that living with me was, um, interesting. I am chronically late (poor time management), have no idea where I put anything (organizational issues) and seem to half-listen to everything as well as interrupt often.

It was like I light bulb went off. I really DO have ADD! Suddenly, so much of my life made sense. No wonder I had so many struggles!

I haven't gotten any therapy or medication for it as an adult. However, once I accepted my disorder, I was able to complete college and graduate Cum Laude. As a child, I was very bright, but had problems staying focused and on top of assignments. I figured out some strategies for dealing. I wrote EVERYTHING down. I kept a detailed calendar with due dates and deadlines. I did as much work as possible in the quietest and most empty part of the library - during breaks or before/after classes. At home, I locked myself in the office area and did my work there - with a little background noise to drown out distractions (a fan). I sat front and center in my classes and made an effort to talk to each professor regularly. I made use of their office hours and email. I let them know my situation - ADD and determined to learn.

Socially, I still struggle. I constantly remind myself to WAIT before talking. I remind myself to make eye contact (not look around at everything else that's going on), and LISTEN. It's hard. I find social situations exhausting. My mind is all over the place, I get nervous about blurting out something inappropriate or rude, and I have to work so hard to focus. I've gotten pretty good at it, but it wears me out!

I found a patient and caring partner who recognizes my issues and helps me. He takes care of the bills, so that they aren't late and our account isn't all messed up. I think I COULD do it now, but really don't want that responsibility if I don't have to do it.

For me, I was able to manage school without medication. I had to be very communicative with professors and make some modifications, though. Oh - I wrote EVERYTHING down in class. I was a serious note-taker. It wasn't so much about going back and reading them as much as it forced me to really listen and absorb what was being said. I did often use my notes to study for tests, though. Speaking of tests - take as LONG AS YOU NEED! Be the last person there if possible. Go back and check all of your answers. People with ADD tend to rush and skip questions or misread questions. Take your time and then go back and re-read every question and check all of your answers. Ask for clarification if a question is confusing.

Let me know if you have any other questions. I'm happy to share what worked for me (and didn't).

Alrighty, well I have such a terrible memory it is kind of hard for me to remember how I was like as a kid.. I feel like my brain has stopper on it and it won't quite let me go there. But I do remember being a quiet, reading obsessed kid who did VERY well in school. I didn't have many friends at all. Mainly as a kid I just had bad organization and didn't listen all that well. I was socially awkward in the sense I barely had any friends. I still don't have a lot.

I almost feel like if I have it..it's gotten worse..I think I forget more and get distracted more easily. I can't focus on school work either. AT all. If it's not art or drama or something like that , my grades in high school (just graduated last year) were like Cs and Ds. I did take some REALLY easy classes for me and I got a bunch of As too so it helped balance my GPA inot something decent, which makes me feel bad, since some people actually try to get what I got. I think what it is is that when I was a kid everything just came so easy and then in middle and high school it wasn't as easy and I just slipped into giving up on a few assignments..then a few became everything :S.

Now I am much more hyper talkative in certain situations. I talk to myself constantly and I tend to dominate conversations. I also feel like I try bringing the conversation back to me a lot of the time..Like someoen will say they are having trouble and I'll say what trouble I went to. Or they will say they are writing a story and I will say Oh I write but I haven't written in a long time. I need to ...and then I go on and on about me.

I love the toy department of Walmart hahaha. I pick up everything and go oooo ahhhh ooooo. I like barbies now and I used to not..I feel like as I've gotten older the hyperactive symptoms have shown themselves more...Is it possible for ADD to get worse as you get older? That's how I feel. I read it acutally gets somewhat better..but I feel like it's worse.

I'm not sure if I have ADD though. It could be something else,but I do show a lot of symptoms of ADD. Reminds me wof when my Comp teacher (I failed this class) asked me 'Why don't you just write it?) after he gave me the whole semester to make up my work..if I wrote one paper I could pass....I just shrugged. I couldn't make myself write one damn paper. : C

My college essays took me DAYS to write and it was only one page :C I am going to college this fall and I am afraid I'll slip into the habit or become depressed because I can't seem to get things done..but I am goonna try seeing somebody about it. Maybe I can get a diagnosis. Might be sommething other than ADHD,but I feel like it is somtething. Not just the occasional depression. (I have dpression like...at least once every 2 years I think..but only for like a month or so and then it kinda fades).

I diagnosed myself as ADD at about 37. Also Anxiety unspecified. I don't remember my childhood much either, I've read that ADDers live in the moment hence the forgetfullness, poor memory AND, on the plus, quick to forgive cause they don't dwell. Looking back to childhood I do remember very strong anxiety. I hated school because of the social element. I was extremely shy and hated any attention drawn to me in school. But I was also obsessed with getting A's, which I mostly did. I was very anxious about missing school because then I wouldn't know what the work was, wouldn't have it done and would have to either speak to another classmate to get the assignment or perhaps have to walk through the class to the teacher's desk to get the assignment or turn in the late one. I would sit at my desk in anxious anticipation of the simple task of walking to the teacher's desk and back and HOPEFULLY we wouldn't have to converse and have the whole class hear us! Plus, I used to always blush which made it all that much more hellish. My anxiety was soo embarasing to me, I felt it made me appear vulnerable or weak. Contrarily, outside of school I was a socially aggressive person. Very sexual at a rather early age, very bossy with my friends, I had older, aggressive boyfriends. Also, I was constantly late! From as early as I can remember I was always late and extremely anxious about it as it would draw unwanted attention to me. Always late! Which irritates everyone around me. Whenever someone needs a ride from me they tell me a time a half hour earlier than necessary. Ahh!! Writing this makes me feel like I suck so bad!! So yeah, alot of internalized self badgering for all my little screw ups....late, forgetting things, pissing someone off when I tell it like I see it. Socially I have issues, I guess. I have had more than one 'friend' tell me I am a bad friend. Usually I feel indifferent about this. I really don't care for friends and feel pretty detached from them. I call them 'human entertainment' and call them when I want some. I have a fairly large family and four kids of my own, I have a man, so I don't feel socially isolated, my emotional energy goes to them and we are all quite occupied with each other. But I usually have a boyfriend. I'm pretty bossy with them, it usually starts as a sexual relationship that I enter into or initiate and try to keep separate from my family and remain emotionally detached. Sometimes either he or I take it further and it becomes a live in relationship. I am 39, I have four children with four different father's. I have never been in a relationship longer than four years and threw out every baby daddy before each child reached his or her first birthday. I think I generally maintain control of my intimate relationships, I have ended them all and then dealt with a very tenacious man. Most of my boyfriends have 'had some issues'. I love psychology and dark psyches. Almost invariably my relationships are 'difficult'. But the sex is always good a high priority for me. I've read that women with ADD often have a history of 'tumultuous relationships', early sexual behavior and promiscuity. I have been told that I am like the man in relationships. Getting boys has never been a problem, I have always been quite attractive, petite and rather assertive with men. My relationships have often been filled with men arguing (current beau and a baby daddy) and legal issues, more than a few had drug issues, which I did not, and felt I could keep it separate from myself because of my live and let live attitude and probably acceptance and nonjudgement waaaay beyond the norm. OCCUPATIONALLY has been a big problem too, I have a bachelors in psychology and have been a nurse for eight years. I spent around 5 years at a community college, got an associates in liberal arts, went back for an asociates in paralegal then changed it to criminal justice, then didn't get a second associate, between stints at community college I got my LPN at a technical school. Got full financial aid due to single mom status. Of course got every student loan I could to the max and in 13 yrs haven't paid any back and still dealing with 'financial hardship deferrment', unfortunately that financial hardship status is legit and longstanding. Also always worked, generally two jobs with a few days a week because I could NOT work a full time job, oh the monotony!! Or I would work one job and go to school part time. Part time is like my theme song, I want to be able to have my down time, I want to have time with my family, I work as a necessary evil and am always fussy about it or changing things up. Went to university for only one year to get my bachelors because I had so many transeferable credits from community college. I moved out of town when I went to university because: I had to move, my lease was not renewed at my place mostly because of the parties and my defiance to the rental office. I am a petite white girl with blonde hair. My live in boyfriend was a 6'3" dreadlocked Puerto Rican who everyone but me knew sold cocaine, among other drugs. Well he fascinated me, the sex was good, he was handsome and nice to my kids and he told me he wouldn't sell drugs anymore. The obvious occurred, denial, denial, denial, some realization, can't beat em join em, life going down the toilet, get rid of this guy, move away, start over like it never happened. Except then I was with the weed/mushroom growing, hot religious black guy who had been in prison during his teen years. Big problems with baby daddys as this guy was known about town as very violent and very proud of his marijuana growing abilities. Well, I saw him as very intelligent and resourceful and outspoken and deeply righteous and he just needed some love and direction. Two child welfare investigations, an arrest for him dumping our garbage in the neighboring complex, and a BARELY achieved Bachelors Degree, that relationship ended and I moved again. During this time I worked double shifts (including nights) at a nursing home and went to school 5 days a week. I sniffed cocaine when I could get it from the ex (for free...plus Freud was a great proponent;))which gave me a few clear calculus lessons!, smoked blunts with the live in and ate the mushrooms he grew. Once again out of control, time to pick up and leave all the BS behind...this has gotten too long, have I been of any help??

I was Dxed with generalized anxiety disorder almost 10 years ago. But it wasn't until I took an abnormal psychology class that we started putting the peices together. I was a textbook case of adult ADD. From constantly losing keys to being late for everything. They put me on Adderal last year, and I was finally able to focus, but it made me violently angry and even more unable to wait on people. I am a yeller anyway. I became a screamer in those weeks. And not the good screaming.

I was just given ritalin to try since I have no insurance. I have no idea what to expect as this is my first day on it.

BFGuru wrote:I was just given ritalin to try since I have no insurance. I have no idea what to expect as this is my first day on it.

I started ritalin 10mg, worked well at first, now at 20mg per day, again good at first but I think I need an increase. How is the ritalin treating you??

Typical of my condition that I find what I'm looking for and am out of time....
You guy's have no idea how comforted I feel by reading the above posts. I only managed the first two but I can relate!!! Which I might add is one thing I really have trouble with....
I am training to be a nurse but have had to re start my course at several points, I have had various diagnoses in the past and struggle academically and socially. I am on a new medication called
ATOMOXITINE. I was prescribed this as I have abused amphetamines in the past. My consultant thinks I was probably self medicating.
IMPORTANTLY I have learned the value of PLANNING and keeping to a ROUTINE in order to manage my symptoms and keep my life as stress free as possible. AS MUCH AS I HATE ROUTINE I KNOW THAT I NEED IT.
I will be back to read other posts.
DO NOT LOSE HEART HELP IS OUT THERE FROM UNIVERSITIES CHARITIES AND THE MEDICAL SECTOR. JUST ASK AND KEEP ASKING!

eeveedee wrote:

BFGuru wrote:I was just given ritalin to try since I have no insurance. I have no idea what to expect as this is my first day on it.

I started ritalin 10mg, worked well at first, now at 20mg per day, again good at first but I think I need an increase. How is the ritalin treating you??

I'm on 5 mgs twice a day and it's putting me in a depressive fog. I don't feel very productive at all and almost want to go back to aderall, but doctor says no b/c it made me feel violent. The other meds are too expensive though.

There are certain aspects of ADD that I had researched which led me to think that the disorder could not apply to me, but the weightier symptoms I have been able to recognise - along with the negative and significant impacts they have on my life - are well on the way to convincing me I simply can't have anything else.

As a child I never really had any trouble relating to ADD whatsoever, to my own knowledge anyway. In fact I was rather the opposite in that I was prone to behaviour more befitting someone suffering OCD: I had to eat an equal amount of food on each side of my mouth, I had to take an even number of steps with each foot on every particular surface when I was out walking (grass, pavement, metal panel etc.), I couldn't sleep if my bedclothes were wrinkled and I would straighten them several times until I was satisfied, I couldn't relax if my door wasn't ajar at a particular angle. I would dare to say that some of these little 'habits' have survived into adulthood but they have become nothing more than precisely that - habit. Somewhere along the line, whatever condition I found myself in took a gradual but complete u-turn. In high school I was wise I suppose in choosing the subjects that gave me the most rewarding sense of achievement, ones that I was interested in and would enjoy working to create something productive that would earn me a decent grade. In english, history and music I have been able to ultimately gain quite impressive qualifications and despite the massive workload I was able to manage a B and two straight A's.

I am 19 years old and it is only now that I am stepping out seriously into the world that I am noticing more and more what I might be forced to contend with in terms of managing my condition. The only blip that might have been an indicator back in my school days would be the organisation of my dissertations. History in particular I did not start in earnest until a week before the final deadline which left me with so much work I actually made myself physically ill with sleep deprivation and almost fell asleep in class - which was very unlike me, I like to pride myself on timekeeping and also on paying attention where I feel it is rightly due. However, I had always been notorious for putting work off until the very last minute and then scrambling to pull it all together just in time.

Now that I have finally chosen a career path I could see myself pursuing, I don't want to let this disorder control my life and turn me into a chaotic mess just when I seem to be getting on top of everything. I am a little bit overweight but not too unhealthy I don't think, I could just do with getting a bit more excercise (something that all but stopped after I hit puberty, unfortunately) and so I have been writing and posting diagrams or timetables to remind me to do things to keep on track, but even then I will fall behind now and then and feel very frustrated with myself. It is awful to feel so defeated by yourself and feel so helpless, at a loss for what to do, but I am determined to conquer it and I refuse to let it beat me. With new years, new complications in my life are appearing and I am finding the condition is having a dreadful, adverse effect on them.

I had a few good friends in high school and I had no trouble keeping them, I saw them every day so quite frankly it was hard not to. They have moved to different towns or in different directions now and I find it hard to keep track of them and often unintentionally ignore them when they try to contact me. I have a phone but I seldom check it for messages and I will forget to check my email too so it is very difficult for them to get hold of me and - inevitably - they also get tired of trying; I am convinced one day they will give up altogether and perhaps I won't even notice. As a funny little aside perhaps to better illustrate I lost a boyfriend - of sorts - simply because I forgot he was there. He lived in another town and we would arrange to meet through text messages but, like I say, me and my mobile have never been best friends and I think I simply overlooked contacting him for about a week or so. When I realised, I didn't even seem that bothered by it and the 'relationship' kind of fizzled out without notice or care. It seems I will have to put a lot of effort into consciously paying attention to people themselves as well as what they are saying... I have never been a stranger to my own company but even in my own tasks I have begun to irritate myself.

I am an artist and a writer with so many ideas and genuine scope but I find it hard to focus on one thing at a time. When I am taken by a brilliant idea for a painting or a story I will begin, only to get another idea and abandon the first to start the second etc. to the extent I never end up finishing any one thing. This is not only annoying but truly disheartening; I begin to lose faith in my own abilities because - when I get so excited about an idea - I like to share it with those closest to me and when they see no result I feel as though I have done little more than give them an empty promise. It's very counterproductive but, yet again, it is something I am slowly finding a way to master by writing down my ideas then focusing on one to begin and finish before actually starting another one.

Another real problem would be the word-vomit I seem to suffer from on a daily basis. Quite simply if something enters my mind it exits my mouth. Some thoughts I am able to keep to myself and I have become quite practised at buttoning my lips as long as the mood strikes me to but I can't stand long silences and - providing I am comfortable with the people I am around - I will let out any odd rambling to try and fill it. I don't think I could call myself socially inept in most circumstances... in a work environment for instance I have no problem listening at all but I have a tendency to dominate a lot of other conversations to the point I would literally shout at myself to shut up!... If I weren't too busy already talking, that is.

I often have an irrational fear of the everyday necessities to the point of self-doubt or even dreadfully poor self-esteem - even with something as simple as confidence enough to 'brave' public transport because, quite honestly, most times I have travelled alone on it I have somehow zoned out and missed my stop completely. This very entry is a wonderful example of my symptoms, I am not only supposed to be writing right now as I am on this laptop but I was supposed to have turned it off half an hour ago so that I could get some sleep. Sometimes it seems like I just can't win, haha! But I am determined to win - I don't like being beaten.

Pardon the length, but interpret this also as a 'hello' to the rest of the community in telling you a little about my story. There is much more but I would rather not dominate in text as well as speech, haha. So... hello!

. I would sit at my desk in anxious anticipation of the simple task of walking to the teacher's desk and back and HOPEFULLY we wouldn't have to converse and have the whole class hear us! Plus, I used to always blush which made it all that much more hellish. My anxiety was soo embarasing to me, I felt it made me appear vulnerable or weak.

OMgashh this is so me hahaha. It makes me laugh . I agonize over asking the teacher for a sharpener or scissors or what the homework was. I have no clue why I get such anxiety. It just gets there and dominates it. I hate calling and asking the school for help. It took me forever to call my college and ask them a few questions. I have to keep asking myself. i don't even like calling my own father. I have this fear of asking for things. It's so stupid. Ahhh I hate it! And I freeze up like an idiot sometimes in other situations and then later I'm like you weak idiot urggg.

I am an artist and a writer with so many ideas and genuine scope but I find it hard to focus on one thing at a time. When I am taken by a brilliant idea for a painting or a story I will begin, only to get another idea and abandon the first to start the second etc. to the extent I never end up finishing any one thing. This is not only annoying but truly disheartening; I begin to lose faith in my own abilities because - when I get so excited about an idea - I like to share it with those closest to me and when they see no result I feel as though I have done little more than give them an empty promise.

Oh damn. This sounds like me too! I once had a list of 200 + story ideas and a binder with at least 3o something stories started...usually only up to 5 pages....It was so baddddd D:. I used to do my drawing like that,but I learned to do one at a time at least..though I still rush if I get bored...

Aw mann...Ilike the one anxiety when asking for things I have anxiety about everyday things like going to the store or handling money. I'm 19 too..I haven't even learned to drive because I don't feel I can do it XD. But I think I'm this awesome person, so I wouldn't say I have low self esteem. Just doubts in certain areas . Mainly about getting ajob..which I gotta do..bleh..