Finally found teh right forum. PLEASE HELP ME! (long)

My father was diagnosised as a sociopath at sometime in his life before I was born. I learned from his first wife (Ive only known her for a yr) that my grandmother took my father into me eveluated and this was the result. I lived with him my 18 yrs before I got out of there. I learned from him to be distrust society and everything else that goes on inside a sociopaths mind. I only learned how to be 'normal' by watching how other people out in the world interacted with each other. And I have learned through this even more about my father that only makes me shutter. I do believe that the only good thing was that he trusted me enough to let me in on how his mind works jsut enough for me to figure out when he is lying.

He is a typical sociopath and I feel he is an extreme case that needs authorities invovled. He very intellegent and has a hobby of learning as much as he can about legal loop holes so that he can cover his butt if ever confronted, which he has. I could go on and on about his crazyness but I will tell one story jsut so you get the picture.

He was always out to get us to feel sorry for him. He would get drunk and suicidal, pretending to overdose on his meds. As a child, I spent many late school nights trying to convince him that I loved him enough that he did not need to do this. I would cry beg and plead for him to jsut realize how much I loved him. On other drunk nights, he owuld tell stories about being it the military. He was honorably discharged on bad behavior but he would tell stories on how they only discharged him to send him secretly behind lines during vietnam. He owuld tell stories about the things he and two other people woudl do he could not give names for, cause the goverment was listening to him right then. One story was about he and these two men sat hidden by a rice patty taking pop shots at a vietnamiese woman picking rice in a little boat with her baby. He talked about how she was pretty far away and she rowed like crazy to get to the other side to safety. He would atually cry (I know now he was praticing showing emotions as a child could not see through the lies) about what they did. He would say she was shot and killed but refused to tell which man did it and how they left the baby crying in the boat to bake in the sun. He siad that he was out to spy and kill certain high officials but could give no more details as the govermant might jsut come and take him away and i better hope to find him still there when I woke up in the morning.

He hates athourity and will often speak of killing them if they ever tried to come and take him away. He has high powered rifles. He was once arrested for terrorestic threats on against police but was let out of jail 9 days later and only recieved 18 months of probation all on little loop holes where the FBI and local cops made almost unnoticable mistakes. He really believes that his way of thinking is correct as his IQ # is pretty high. This makes his ideas that go against society totally right and he has each one so rationalized that it is very easy to believe it. He fakes injuries to make us feel sorry for him so we will call and visit more often. And he is a child molester (PLEASE read the post under the child abuse forum) http://www.psychforums.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=6717

OK if you have read this, here are my fears. This man knows every legal loop hole out there and can get/has gotteen away iwth just about anything/everything. For example, there is some law that says that no legal athority can speak to a child without the parents permission and that they can be present if they wish. I feel that if I followed through on this, it would not work as my brothers would have to be questione without his presence and he has instilled a very strong fear of protective services in all his children. My father would forever forbid me from seeing my borthers ever again and I may be putting my life and childrens lifes in danger. If he managed to get away with everything, or jsut lost cusodty of my brothers, or was ever set free ( and he has escaped a mental ward in the past) he would plot revenge on my family.

My fear is further enhanced by a phone call he made to me a couple of months ago. He got himself drunk (liquid courage) and gave me a call, on my husbands b-day I might add. He is in his late 50's and stated that he met a beautiful 45 yr old woman with a 12 yr old girl over the internet that actaully likes him and wanted to pursue a relationship but he was afraid my mother, his ex, would destroy by telling her that he ws a child molester and what would I do if the woman would come to me and ask me about it. Did I have enough confidence in him that he has changed so much that I could trust him? I told him that I would not lie and he tried to mek me feel guilty about him dying as a lonely old man who would never be loved again and that he might as well jsut die know. He stated that I better remember my last words with him, implying suicide. I am concerned because he did meet with a woman who was an absolute sweetheart but did not like her because he said she was overwieght, although he is very much too. He stated at the time he was looking for a woman to help him with the boys. She would have been perfect and ideal. He also turned down a woman with an adult handicapped daughter and stated at that time he did not want to be with a woman with any children of any age, boy or girl. but out of noway really wants to be with this one with the 12 yr old little girl.

I fear that he is seeking out girls over the internet and trying to arrange meetings with them. He once sent me an email during high school that stated he was a football player who I had talked to in some chat room at some point in time. He attached a pic of a football player with a hidden face off of some website. It was obvious to me as he said he was playing this game with my sister "to see what she was actaully doing online" and because i did not visit chat rooms as he suspected. I sent a nasty letter and blocked the email address. He went after one of my friends through email and "innocently" flirted and "complimented" her as "all young girls love to hear this stuff". She showed the email to me and also blocked him. I asked her to turn him in as my attempts had failed. She didnt watn to get invovled. He then went after one of my sisters friends and sucessfully set up a date to meet with this very vunerable girl, but thank god she told my sister about it and it was stopped just days before. But the mother didnt want to drag her daughter through the courts so she also did not press charges.

I know that I just couldnt make an annomious phone call or talk to the local police. This woul have to be down by a profiling detective or something but i have no idea to go about anything like this and actaully get somewhere other than making matters worse. I want to protect my brothers as I feel tremendous guilt for allowing this abuse to continue. I have nightmares about him and I can acutally see him molesting my borthers or 3 yr old daughter or attacking me and I jsut want to beat him. I also have nightmares soemtimes about killing him myself and I wake up feeling as if I am as sick as he is. My sister is 21, married with a 3 yr old son and she is is completely under his mind control still. she has made a couple statements that leads me to believeshe might be starting to think a little more normally. I have tried to point out who he is and she only defends him. I am past the point of tears bit I am bawling inside and am begging for help. Any help I get would be very much appreciated.

I hope someone can give you some good advice. I really dont have any idea on how to answer your question. But i can tell that you are very deeply worried. ihope everything works out for you. I also wanted to answer your post. I know how it feels to get no reply to one

Thanks for replying. I have been checking every day for a post. I was hoping that mabe there would a professional or even another APD person here that could offer advice on how to go about this the right way.

My fear is that I will come forward to authorites and knowing them, they will be like "Well for the best interest for your brothes, we have to start to investigate now or arrest now." But there are certain "legal" ways they have to do and say absolutly everything. Damn, if they question my brothers without the consent or presence of one of my parents, wahtever they say is thrown out. Just by using a normal police scanner, he will know what is going on before for they get with in 5 miles of him. It wouldnt take long for him to split. He could kidnap my brothers or get the whole thing thrown out of court with charges pressed against ME for slander, pay his costs ect. He could go balisitic and try to take out police or come after me or my family.

It is obvious to me that I need help from a therapist but am stopped from going to one because a defense attorny could use aht I said to tear me apart in some unknown future. Man that would make me LOTS better. Right now I can be here to offer my younger brothers support and the ability to see a normal family in action when they are visiting. If just one small mistake was made, than I would be able to provide that for my brothers. In most cases where children are removed from a home, they start off hating the person that took them away. Then after awhile they are thankful as they heal. But my brothers would be placed back into the care of someone who would fuel that hate and I would never have their trust again. I need them to know that I am doing the right thing.

*sigh* I will continue to search around the web. I have been looking for a "Ask the expert" forum where I could remain anymous for awhile and get advice. But for now, I am sad somedays. Others I think hitman (dont worry would never so it) and others I think about leaving the state, changing my name, and pretending I never had a care in the world before my kids. THat way they grow up innocent from all this crap.

Thanks for replying. If you hear of anything, let me know. For those who might come across this in a year or longer and have advice, reply anyway as I will be notified by this site.

I just found this site and read your post.
Have you found any help?
God I sure pray you have.
If so, may I ask whom?
I am in a very simular situatuin I am sorry to say.
Thank you and God will keep you safe.

Can you review again the reason you were prevented from seeing a therapist about all this? This sounds the most reasonable thing to do. Have you talked to a defense attorney to find out what you can do to protect yourself?

Your situation sounds terrible. I really hope someone can help you.

I did not see that there was a reply to this post. Sorry for taking so long to reply.

Well I am not going to therapy cause it is a double edge sword. In one aspect, I might be able to use what is recorded in testimony against my father. But on the other hand, he could very well use it against me to show unstability and make me look like I am nuts. He is VERY legal savvy. I dont dare give him any ammunition. He knows or can find out every little loop hole possible. I do not think that actual records from any visits can be used against me but he can force a therapist to testify. But he would probably find away to do both.

To most of us (including myself), we can not figure out how this could possibly be possible. But this is the same man who found a way to evade the law a couple dozen different times just in my life, get 9 days in jail for terroristic threats made to a police officer (threatened to shoot them if they came to get him, long story), got one uncle off all charges of multiple counts of theft, and found a way to make my uncle totally innocent of charges for molesting his daughter.

If he got wind that I was seeing a therapist, he would get paranoid instantly and start to prepare against me possibly MONTHS before even bringing chages against him. Also, if I told a therapist about everything and they decided that for the safety of my brothers and the rest of the community in which he lives, he would have to turn him in, he has "connections" and would skip state before they got to him. He's done that once already.

On top of all that, he has my younger grown sister so controlled (visits her once a week to keep hold of his mind control) that she would testify AGAINST me in court. She thinks hes changed and should be given a second chance. She and her husband both think hes the greatest. My mother ended up on the bad end of the stick for trying to get my brothers out and she lost custody of them, not thats shes much better.

My older sister was going to look into sueing him and said she was going to look for an attorny in her area cause the ones near us have already failed her. It will do NO good I told her, unless she gets a profling detective and therapist who deals with stuff everyday. You can take the best attorny in the state against my father and I guarantee he will STILL win, or very little will happen to him. He will say that he is very willing to take a lie detector test. This coupled with my sisters lying testimony would be the end to our case. Ok, so I stand up and tell the court that he is a sociopath. But there is no proof. So he would have to be evaulated. But WAIT, what happened when he threatened the police officer and got the privileage of AA for a year along with his pathetic 9 days? He had to take a phsycologilcal profile test. Well somehow he convinced them to let him take it home! So he read up on psychology before putting pen to paper. Turned out he was a gently innocent person that was possibly a touch on the homo sexual side cause he did it a little too well. So he knows how to manipulate them too. I want to got to therapy but I want to get this all dealt with first so I can allow myself to open up to a therapist as of right now I do not feel safe doing so.

Still seeking for help as of right now.

TL;DR

Captain Scarlet wrote:TL;DR

Too Long; Didnt Read?

he's very very lonely, remember that. he's needy and desperate for ANY social relation. i think that's how incestuous people are anyway, people who are are simply rejects/freaks in the course of normal social relationships. A big advantage you can have is friends. always make it obvious that you have a social life, and this will make him feel that you don't need him. which is probably true, you ran away from home, survived on your own, and are probably better off.

loneliness is his weakness, he's intellectually proficient but emotionally weak. maybe you can use that to make him "crack" (emotionally overwhelm him). it might be useful to try recording things he does or says. also, keep conversing with people. don't lie to them, tell them what kind of a person your father is and tell them about what's happening. they might be shocked and doubt you at first but they'll probably believe you as time goes on.

well anyway, i'm not assuring you that my advice is any good, i think i'm just an idiot, but anyway, using my loneliness against me, making me jealous that everyone else has friends, seems to make me psychologically defeated/humiliated around here (at home). anyway this guy's scary and dangerous, i'm wishing you the best, i'm not sure what to do, but telling people about it might get them on your side. Avoiding him will also hurt him deeply/make him more desperate.

Also, you can't hide rotten aspects of yourself forever, lies will only go so far, evil always pays.


why does god want to keep people like me alive? i think the answer is probably horrifying.

if he is lonely, he is not a sociopath. more likely what he wants is control, and the satisfaction of knowing he is ######6 peoples lives up.