The mask is slipping

Only my ex knows I have AsPD, the mask was slipping and I never realized it until she called me out on it. I was shocked I have fooled everyone I have come into conntact with, doctors family and friends. I constanly watch people and gauge their emotional responses trying to retain the data for my own use. Now I find myself worried that as the years pass I am growing tired of constantly faking emotions.

In social situations sure I don't mind I love the mind games It's just everynow and then I'd like to be able to just relax and not have to fake being amused or giving a $#%^ about people and their feelings. which is why I decided to post here among like minds.

The point of this post is.... Has anyone else struggled with the mask slipping? risking losing it all and letting the world see you as the monster(in my case) that you really are?

Many times, that's usually when i relocate.

Why are you a monster, exactly? Just having AsPD does not make you a monster, an asshat, yes.. but a monster? Not quite.


So far, in this forum, we've determined the Narc's among us allow their masks to slip to "Scare" those around them, thus getting attention. Some others, more AsPD like let it slip when the boredom becomes to much to handle, and i usually just roll with things.

If someone catches on, i figure out how, then move on.

The dark urges that creep over me...i'm a monster inside.

Perhaps it is just boredom, i'm just not getting a lot of stimulation from my life right now. Its as if i want something tragic to happen just so I can fake the emotions and use my mind.

Wana discuss these dark urges further? Pm's? They'll lock your thread if you go into detail on the public viewable forum.


Anyone who views themselves as a monster can't be to bad though, that implies you have a conscience

Sunlight_hurts wrote:Wana discuss these dark urges further? Pm's? They'll lock your thread if you go into detail on the public viewable forum.


Anyone who views themselves as a monster can't be to bad though, that implies you have a conscience

You know many people can express ideas without gruesome details or posting
some sort of link to something like that.

Ya, if you want to share links or gruesome details that should be in a pm.

But each post or topic stands on its own merit, or lack of.

Peace,
Red