Murderous Fantasies

Hello,

Please, feel free to participate in this thread regardless of diagnosis or how often you may have murderous fantasies. Do mention your diagnosis though, if you feel comfortable.

In regards to fantasies of murder:
Do you ever dream about it?
Do you wake up wanting to kill?
Does it come through when you're angry mostly?
Or are these feelings.. or urges, more or less always present?

And then:
How do you cope with these urges?
Have you tried many methods, such as using substances, substitution for other behavior, suppression, expression, etc?

Thanks!

In regards to fantasies of murder:
Do you ever dream about it?
Do you wake up wanting to kill?
Does it come through when you're angry mostly?
Or are these feelings.. or urges, more or less always present?

I do dream about murder, but rarely. Most of my dreams are usually non-violent (and boring), surprisingly, since I think about murder so often when I'm awake. I just put it down to lack of imagination.

I don't normally wake up and immediately start wanting to kill people. Those thoughts don't usually occur until I'm well awake and when I'm either feeling a lot of aggression (generally due to frustration) or I have a someone in mind who I want to kill.

I don't often feel anger when I want to kill someone. I don't usually feel much of anything. I just feel neutral usually. I might feel a mild sense of excitement when I'm thinking about murder while I'm in the presence of the person I want to kill, but that really depends on the potential victim and the situation.

I think about murder a lot, but I wouldn't the say the urge to kill is always present. I only get the urges when I fantasize and I don't always fantasize about murder. The fantasies only start when I have a potential victim in my sights.

And then:
How do you cope with these urges?
Have you tried many methods, such as using substances, substitution for other behavior, suppression, expression, etc?

The urges are only really a problem when they're very strong because I find it much harder to control myself then. I have acted on them in the past, so I know how easy it is to lose control.

When I'm feeling very aggressive I tend to release it on a boxing bag. That only has a mild affect, but at least it helps a little bit.

I don't use substances to control my aggression because certain types can make it worse. I prefer to keep a clear head when I'm feeling aggressive and violent because then I have better control over my actions.

Reaper wrote:Those thoughts don't usually occur until I'm well awake and when I'm either feeling a lot of aggression (generally due to frustration) or I have a someone in mind who I want to kill.

I don't often feel anger when I want to kill someone. I don't usually feel much of anything. I just feel neutral usually.

When aggressive and frustrated you feel like killing people, but you don't feel much of anything when you want to kill someone at the same time. Can you clear this up?

CreamFreak wrote:When aggressive and frustrated you feel like killing people, but you don't feel much of anything when you want to kill someone at the same time. Can you clear this up?

Not at the same time. Different times. The use of the words 'either' and 'or' in my comment implies that.

I'm not always feeling aggressive and frustrated when I want to kill people. Sometimes I am, but not very often.

There have been plenty of occasions where I wasn't feeling anything when I wanted to kill someone. I just wanted to kill them because I came across ideal prey while out and about (I often go into hunt mode when I'm around other people, whether I planned to or not), which sparked the fantasies and thus, the urge. Those occasions are motivated by a desire for power/control and the thrill of doing something risky and dangerous.

On a typical hunt, what type of people get your murder gears churning? Is it always sexual, or is there a type of personality you would like to control too? If so, what type of personality?

CreamFreak wrote:On a typical hunt, what type of people get your murder gears churning? Is it always sexual, or is there a type of personality you would like to control too? If so, what type of personality?

No, their personality is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what I want, not who they are or what they do. It doesn't matter to me if they're someone 'innocent' who never harms anyone or if they're a child rapist. It makes no difference.

The only preference I have is in regard to their age and physical appearance, but even that wouldn't matter if I was being paid to kill. Then there would be no limits on who dies.

For myself, personally, I prefer females between the ages of 15 and 25 (though I can go older if she's attractive enough) and males between the ages of 20 and 50, but I generally find men less appealing as prey than women. Women are more sexually appealing to me and offer more challenge because they're usually less trusting than men. Men are far easier to get into a vulnerable position.

I see.

So you've never had an urge to say, punish whores? Clean the streets of hobos? Dominate someone handicap or who can't fight back? Control narcissists and show them the mirror?

CreamFreak wrote:I see.

So you've never had an urge to say, punish whores? Clean the streets of hobos? Dominate someone handicap or who can't fight back? Control narcissists and show them the mirror?

I don't like whores, but not because of what they do. I just see them as society's trash. Same with hobo's, but I don't care about cleaning up the streets. That's not my problem.

I've never had any interest in dominating handicap people. There's not exactly much to dominate. And I couldn't give a fuk about narcissists. They can be annoying, but not enough to kill them over it. They're like the gum under my shoe. It doesn't take much to brush them off and forget they ever existed.

Gotcha - so strictly age and physical appearance, as you already said.

Now, are you just physically sadistic, or mentally/emotionally too? If mentally, again, what type of personality do you prefer? Or do you only like playing mind games with people of a certain age and appearance.

CreamFreak wrote:Gotcha - so strictly age and physical appearance, as you already said.

Now, are you just physically sadistic, or mentally/emotionally too?

Both, but I get more pleasure out of physical sadism.

If mentally, again, what type of personality do you prefer? Or do you only like playing mind games with people of a certain age and appearance.

I rarely play mind games with people I want to kill, aside from gaining their trust. I have played mind games with a few though and their personality was significant then, but only insofar as they could play the game.

One of them was a suspected sociopath. That was fun because it was more challenging. He was very paranoid about people finding out who he was, but he slipped up one night while drunk. I not only found out who he really was, but also where he lives (or rather, was living at the time). He's disappeared since, but not because I killed him. I didn't. I had planned to though.