Any help?

Sso, I am new here to 'PsychForums' so sorry if I am doing this wrong but here is the deal. Many of my close, trusted 'friends' believe I have ASPD because of the fact that I stay inside ALL day besides school on my computer. I personally do not believe that I have this personality disorder but they are convinced I do. I'm not here asking for you guys to diagnose me or whatever but I want to know what you guys think it is and what type of Personality disorder it looks like I 'belong' to.

Lets start this off with the fact that I feel empty. I have no empathy when it comes to humans but some empathy for animals. If a close friend/acquaintance had something bad happen to them or their family, I would simply pretend to care. I can lie comfortably and I have little to no regret or guilt over it. It's like a mask almost. When I am alone, I can be me. Laugh at horrible pictures/webms/gifs of people getting hit by cars etc on 4chan. When I am around others at my school, I am kind off labelled that 'weird' kid. Not because I sit in silence, listen to heavy metal and have a go at everybody that passes me, but because I will be there and say dark, horrible jokes that it seems only I find funny. Examples "Imagine if your father just gets run over by a car and cant walk again and has to masturb*te to the wall because he can't move." Yes I know, I am a HORRIBLE, person, but quite frankly, this doesn't bother me. I am not coming on here because I want help with my sick and twisted personality. I am here to ask why I am starting to get urges/thoughts to kill people around me. I have also considered suicide multiple times and I just don't understand why. It's not like I'm depressed or something, these thoughts just pop into my head and it's like I don't mind them. (Don't care if they stay there)

Being completely honest, I feel like someday in my life, I will be in a prison for a violent crime of the sorts and I feel like it's inevitable. But, I am a good kid in school, seem nice, calm and quiet to my teachers and parents.
So guys, what do you think is wrong with me. I would like any or even all your opinions on my personality.

NOTE: I apologise if this is in the wrong thread. Like I said, new here.

So you think you have a PD because you don't care about others, stay home a lot, and laugh at morbid jokes? Sounds more like an angsty teen to me. And why does everyone think they have a disorder nowadays? Kid you're fine. Now go do something with your life. Or don't, I don't really fuking care.

DonatedPizza wrote:Yes I know, I am a HORRIBLE, person, but quite frankly, this doesn't bother me. I am not coming on here because I want help with my sick and twisted personality.

I don't think it's constructive to label yourself that way. You are who you are. There's no benefit to applying external judgement labels. Unless it helps you avoid acting out, perhaps?

I am here to ask why I am starting to get urges/thoughts to kill people around me.

Boredom? What do you get dopamine rushes from? If it's all passive stuff. Like watching videos or reading stuff online. Looking for more active, healthy ways to get that rush. Might ward off these thoughts. I'd recommend avoiding drugs or illegal activities. But there's plenty on the borderline of legal. That might give you a more interesting focus.

I have also considered suicide multiple times and I just don't understand why. It's not like I'm depressed or something, these thoughts just pop into my head and it's like I don't mind them. (Don't care if they stay there)

Depression can be caused by environmental factors. Or it can be as random as asthma or flu. It doesn't have to have an obvious trigger. So good not to rule it out. Especially if the empty feelings are relatively recent rather than long term standing.

Being completely honest, I feel like someday in my life, I will be in a prison for a violent crime of the sorts and I feel like it's inevitable.

How do you feel about the inevitability? Does it give a sense of "stability" or "meaning"? Is it easier to imagine than a career and other life choices?

Who do you want to kill and why do you want to kill?

Is it sexually motivated, is it to get a rush? If you feel empty and bored all the time, I can imagine you want to do extreme things.

Do you feel love for your family and friends? Or don't you care about them at all?

If you need a rush you can do legal stuff like riding motorbikes or other dangerous stuff, drugs also give a thrill but that's illegal so make your own choices. But generally I think it's very possible to get an adrenaline rush without doing illegal stuff.

DonatedPizza wrote:Sso, I am new here to 'PsychForums' so sorry if I am doing this wrong but here is the deal. Many of my close, trusted 'friends' believe I have ASPD because of the fact that I stay inside ALL day besides school on my computer. I personally do not believe that I have this personality disorder but they are convinced I do. I'm not here asking for you guys to diagnose me or whatever but I want to know what you guys think it is and what type of Personality disorder it looks like I 'belong' to.

staying all day inside is more avpd, spd and ascoial.
But i can see some kind of aspd who might. I do however doubt he would be on the computer.
Your "friends"(?) are fucking with you.

Lets start this off with the fact that I feel empty. I have no empathy when it comes to humans but some empathy for animals. If a close friend/acquaintance had something bad happen to them or their family, I would simply pretend to care. I can lie comfortably and I have little to no regret or guilt over it. It's like a mask almost. When I am alone, I can be me. Laugh at horrible pictures/webms/gifs of people getting hit by cars etc on 4chan.

You are 4chan pd
Thats AvPD + NPD

When I am around others at my school, I am kind off labelled that 'weird' kid. Not because I sit in silence, listen to heavy metal and have a go at everybody that passes me, but because I will be there and say dark, horrible jokes that it seems only I find funny. Examples "Imagine if your father just gets run over by a car and cant walk again and has to masturb*te to the wall because he can't move."

It is weird to imagine someone else's father's cock rubbing at a wall.

Yes I know, I am a HORRIBLE, person, but quite frankly, this doesn't bother me. I am not coming on here because I want help with my sick and twisted personality.

What horrible deeds have you done ? There is a confession thread. I confessed there.

I am here to ask why I am starting to get urges/thoughts to kill people around me. I have also considered suicide multiple times and I just don't understand why. It's not like I'm depressed or something, these thoughts just pop into my head and it's like I don't mind them. (Don't care if they stay there)

I personally consider suicide every(well not every, rather once in a blue moon) morning when i have to get up. I think "Is it better to get over myself and get up, or die?". Instead i just sleep more and get up later. There is always a choice.
I do also get urges to stab people 20 times in the neck with a pen, when they block my way in the subway. Or when they say something retarded. Or when they breathe(if they breathe, they will probably say something retarded or irrelevant its the same to me). However until they attack me first i try to hold it back. And when they do, i usually get away from them(in a running fashion). I am always unfulfilled . Unless they really have pissed me off.. then bad things happen, to me mostly. Sing the song, it helps, makes things sound funny.

Being completely honest, I feel like someday in my life, I will be in a prison for a violent crime of the sorts and I feel like it's inevitable. But, I am a good kid in school, seem nice, calm and quiet to my teachers and parents.
So guys, what do you think is wrong with me. I would like any or even all your opinions on my personality.

I can, point, to some people... you know, when your eyes go red and you just have to change the living state of someone... Feel free to pm me. I can make a carrier out of your 'problem'.

Are your teachers deserving of your silence?
I flipped mine off and told them to go ###$ themselves. They deserved it. Well 4 of them did. It feels good, try it.

I have no idea what is wrong with you, but i can advise you what to do.
Laugh at your jokes, laugh at other people being discomforted by your jokes and find those that are not discomforted. But try not to laugh at their faces, that will make pointless conflict.
Read online things that you do not understand and do not trust your friends until they have proven themselves. So when they call you aspd, read up on it.
No one really cares about others, mostly.
you sound fine to me

Not in America, nobody cares about others lol.

It's not human nature though. It's a cultural thing I think, at this point.

But people will tell you it's human nature so they don't see their country as the culprit.

And also to convince themselves that it can't be avoided or escaped or changed...hence it must continue and even become more pronounced and spread globally!

The myths that justify the way things are.

DonatePIzza, if you listen to monkeys laugh, they do so during times of stress and violence. It is a coping mechanism to laugh away stressful truths.

Over time humans evolved into more sophisticated creatures and instead of laughing at violence, we began to laugh at everything that damages our egos.

The best comedians speak the truth.

Monkeys want to kill others around them, because they play the chicken pecking order game. It is German psychology. Animals fight a dominance game, or a wanting game, or a desire game. So, external influences are probably hitting you hard in your ego. Taking all your wants and needs away.