starve or die

I'm not sure when my eating disorder started. I have a feeling it was sometime last year. Whether it is affecting my health, i don't know. I'm not a very healthy person to begin with. All I know is that it feels amazing. That sounds really awful, even to type. But when my eating is controlled, as typical as this is, everything in my life seems to be on track. And whether it's in my mind or not, I also do not know. But when i go back to eating "normally" everything in life crashes down on me. Nothing goes right. I'm obsessed with my weight to a degree that frightens me. I can't stand to go a day without weighing myself or inspecting myself in the mirror. That is the part I can't stand. I cannot go an hour without thinking about my body. My weight has shifted drastically over the school year from about 90 pounds to 115. Right now i'm about 100 and i'm 5'3. I'm not looking for a magic cure, because i know there is none. But can anyone help me drive the #######4 obsessive thoughts away?
-shay

Shay,

I've been bulimic for 4 years now and have not been successful in driving the obsessive thoughts away. However, I certainly have learned how to live with them a little more easily. I realised that I was fighting a losing battle with them, to be honest, and so I just accepted that I was bulimic and had this problem. Ironically, by accepting it, I was better equiped to handle it and not let it control my life entirely. I suppose it's a bit like an alcoholic accepting that he has a problem in the first place.

Tell me, have you told anyone else about this stuff?

Kevin

my friends and family know about my eating disorder. they know its a problem. what i find disturbing is how some of my more immature friends have encouraged it. I don't think many of them know the extent that i obsess. It almost seems like a hobby.

At times like this, you have to weig up who are your genuine friends and who aren't. It can be good thing to 'prune' your contacts list, you know?