Well...I Guess I Might Need Help

I get so very pissed off when I lose in video games. I don't know why, but if I screw up, or I die, or I lose, I completely lose it.
It scares me sometimes how enraged I can be. I scream threats, I throw things, I hit myself constantly, I punch walls and doors. I even bite myself, or cut myself. Afterwards, I feel so tired, so lonely, so completely empty.

When I talk to my mother, I also get very pissed off. She always finds some way to worm her way under my skin with some barbed comments about me. I just start wanting to kill her, to taste her blood. I know it's wrong afterwards, but while I'm in that stage, I can't help it.

I don't know what's wrong with me. When I'm like that, my head pounds and I get the worst headache.
How can I get help?

Hi, Logorex! You could tell your regular doctor about your situation and ask for their help. Maybe they could do some tests to see if there is anything physically wrong. Then you could ask your doc where you can find a therapist who can really help you and get to the bottom of all of this.

Logorex wrote:I get so very pissed off when I lose in video games. I don't know why, but if I screw up, or I die, or I lose, I completely lose it.
It scares me sometimes how enraged I can be. I scream threats, I throw things, I hit myself constantly, I punch walls and doors. I even bite myself, or cut myself. Afterwards, I feel so tired, so lonely, so completely empty.

When I talk to my mother, I also get very pissed off. She always finds some way to worm her way under my skin with some barbed comments about me. I just start wanting to kill her, to taste her blood. I know it's wrong afterwards, but while I'm in that stage, I can't help it.

I don't know what's wrong with me. When I'm like that, my head pounds and I get the worst headache.
How can I get help?

Anger is very difficult to get rid of. Most times its basically just a fear of losing control of something. Control over winning a video game, control over your freedom taken away from someone, it’s all the same. We all have an image of how we want things to be in our world, how people should treat us, what should be and what shouldn’t; and if this little image is distorted we completely lose it!

If we want people to see us as a balanced and intelligent person and you suddenly mess up, let say you got drunk and got arrested or something, then the image you’ve been defending for years has gone down the drain, you’ve lost power and control over it, shame, frustration, depression and anger will probably arise. People who question you about it will upset you and make you angry.

This is just one example of how anger takes over. The scenario could be a totally different one from this one. But the reactive mental patterns are the same.There might be also a lot of accumulated issues and experiences that you had. If you suffered from abuse and aggression in the past your mind will use the same tactics as a reactive way to interact.

Try not to think too much when you feel this urge, you’re only feeding your mind with more stuff, that’s what it wants, it seeks friction and problems, it’s a self-created machine, a monster of its own. Don’t fall for it.

Don’t even try to fight it, just be a witness of the thoughts and the feelings, don’t obey or act upon any of them, don’t let it be your master, take control of your mind. Talk to it and tell it that you will take care of it as soon as it calms down, tell it that you will respond efficiently and effectively once your mind is clear not when it’s crying like a little child that demands attention or candy.

Once you’re calm, you will see that things are not as dramatic as they appeared. Whatever action is needed, it will be wise and responsive, not reactive. But be careful, you mind might deceive you making you think that it has calm down, and might force you to act before you are clear. Don’t kid yourself. You are the master of your mind.

Remember: “The mind is a great servant but a lousy master”

actually this is emotional problem and doctor has nothing to do with it
the best cure is to take control over it ..
first of all try to get distracted from video games for 2-3 days and have fun outside ,make some friends and have some "quality" time with your mother ( even if you dislike talking to her,just force yourself to be with her for 1 day) this is make you aware of the emotional relatioship you have with your mother
then get back to gaming and take it in a positive way
dont feel sad when you lose ... ask some frnd to play with you