Dealing with assholes

Take what you like and leave the rest.

"I belonged on that MTV show "jersey shore" and wondered how much steroids I took".

Ive never seen this show?

What kind of tone of voice did she have. What was her goal. Could you see her intent. She trying to gain status by putting you down? Was that a put down or was this the best she could do to interact with people she didn't know. How was she feeling, what was going through her heart and mind.

She cried and ran out.? Why would she do that if she was insulting you. Why would she care, and why would she care about a response from you. Why..

Ive been insulted by people before, they did not care about my response to them, even if it was insulting. It meant nothing to them because I meant nothing to them.

I have been in situations were others were clumsy at social interaction, and although they tried to say something interesting, they ended up insulting me, I retaliated similar to what you are describing. They ran out crying or in shock devastated.

Your best bet is to get a therapist or equivalent and sit with them and interact with them, working on similar situations that you have described in your post, allowing the therapist to play act as one of the people at the gym that would comment to you. You need feedback from the other-side. From someone that will break everything down in front of you , that you can take a look at. The therapist can help you see what might be going on in the offenders head as well as yours.

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You mentioned allot of information that passed through your brain to describe her intent and her motives. Yet your not mentioning anything about communicating to her about what her intentions are. Thus, you are going to "you" to get information about her. This is a pure sign of Social avoidance problems. It is not logical to go to your brain to find out what is going on in hers. The only way to know what is going on in hers is to ask her. If you have social phobia problems, as you know, this is a real hard thing to do, to interact with her to find out what her meaning is or her intent.

"I made a very offensive comment about how she wasn't hot enough to have that kind of attitude and that I like dating girls that have bigger boobs than I do and she started crying and ran out."

The above response is a bit rough..!! Did she intend to kill you.!! Did you intent to kill her.

You might be surprised to find out what was really going on in her head. You might be surprised at how shaky and unconfident she really is.
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successful social experiences include asking for feedback and clarification from the other person involved in the interaction. If I cannot do that. If I cannot interact, their is no real communication or interaction. ITs all assumptions out of my brain. That means I have a problem..

If I am going to respond to people in an aggressive way, then I need to know the outcome and accept it.

Work with assertive techniques, look up " How to be assertive" on Youtube.

When someone hits me with a "YOU" statement. I leave and don't return. Insults always start with a "YOU" statement.. example. " "YOU" are not good enough to play football. Maybe "You" should stick to street sweeping." The "You" statement is used to control and intimidate. Their are assertive techniques to counter this type of attack. Simple techniques. I just walk away when I understand the intent of the other person is to put me down..

Hope this helps a bit. Good luck...!!