Wrath in my hands

There aren't really a lot of things that set me off, but when I do get angry, I feel like I could break something. Take someone and strangle them. Or even strangle myself.

I have no way to express myself, not through words, I can't yell, nor can I take my anger out on something. And I often do not have the patience to write it all out when I am upset. I need a way to take care of my anger, and I don't know what to look for next. Bottling it up all the time is eventually going to get me in trouble and make me a horrible person that people won't understand. I don't want that.

Violent music sometimes helps, but not always. Talking it off to my friends online just isn't enough. Caps lock isn't the kind of yelling that makes me feel better.

Playing a game and trying to win it sometimes makes me angry if I try to use it for relief.

Where should I turn when I get angry? How do I calm myself down? Note that it really takes a lot to get me to the point of being angry, but when I'm there, I just find it so hard not to RAGE.

I also sometimes even get so angry that I'd rather cry. Which is odd, because I don't really cry. But that feeling builds, that rage behind my eyes, the heightened emotions, pushing me to a breakdown.

I hate wrath in hands. Mine always shake after being angry as well. I hate so much to use the phone or anything after wrath, to see my fingers quaver over the buttons. I

have a theory that volunteering yourself to help others can get rid of anger by taking you out of yourself. Thus I have been applying to volunteer at various places like soup kitchen today.

That's a good idea, but I have no way to do so as I do not own a car and I don't think I'll be convincing my family to drive me to the soup kitchen for a day.

Ah I see. Where I live the soup kitchen is in walking distance. There is a big center for homeless people, clothing closet, etc. My therapist recommended it, and at first I didn't like the idea. Then I began to see it as a way to rise above society and my own petty self centered problems.

Ah, I see. I happen to not have a therapist, so I'm trying to find remedies that I can use on my own. I'm glad it's working for you though.

Something else that is really pissing me off is that a lot of people have "Might trigger" as part of their topic name. What does it mean? What is it triggering?

I suppose trigger is meaning it might piss someone off or start a flame war. Its a moderator term, but normal users attach it to subjects.

Kimura wrote:Something else that is really pissing me off is that a lot of people have "Might trigger" as part of their topic name. What does it mean? What is it triggering?

Here "triggering" usually refers to an unwanted emotional reaction. It is a way of showing consideration for other members and alerting them to content that may provoke or upset them. They can then choose to read that content at a time when they feel less emotionally sensitive, or perhaps not read it at all.

Here is a discussion on trigger warnings that may give you a better explanation: member-corner/topic76789.html

Ah, it makes much more sense now. Thank you for that explanation.

Something else that makes me extremely frustrated and upset is when people read a topic but don't reply to it. I know you're reading my topic, I see the views increase, I know you have something that you're thinking. But you don't ######6 post it. Motherf- I won't get into a rant, but I'm not one to curse often, so.. Without need for an example, this is something that just ticks me off beyond most things.

Kimura wrote:Ah, it makes much more sense now. Thank you for that explanation.

Something else that makes me extremely frustrated and upset is when people read a topic but don't reply to it. I know you're reading my topic, I see the views increase, I know you have something that you're thinking. But you don't ######6 post it. Motherf- I won't get into a rant, but I'm not one to curse often, so.. Without need for an example, this is something that just ticks me off beyond most things.

What other people think is far less important than allowing them to gain power over you by worrying over it. If it really bothers you, playing stupid sometimes can help to deflect people.

It's not that I'm worried about what they have to say, it's just the fact that they can take the time to read but not a minute and thirty seconds to give their thoughts. Sure, there are instances where you're busy, but could really read my long 2k post and have a deep thought about it with no time? It just confuses me.