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She sees things different than the fact is

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She sees things different than the fact is

Postby Frizzzy » Thu Dec 01, 2011 7:34 pm

Not sure if this is the best category for this.

I live in a house with two housemates. We share the housework between three of us. We don't really have rules everyone contributes their bit. One of my housemate recently started attacking me regarding the housework. For example, she instructed me to clen up a bit of loose leaf tea left on the table, that was indeed me, but I was surprised on this because she has never instructed me to do anything and her and the another housemate's rubbish were everywhere, too, and my little loose leaf tea bits didn't look big issue.

Today she got home and questioned me why didn't I take out the bin. I told her I did last week, and she told me last week the another housemate did -- which is not true but I didn't want to argue about that.

There were other similar incidents and I thought that she might be tired but I realized she sees things different than the fact is. She thinks that I'm not contributing to cleaning just a bit however the fact is I do more that the another housemate, and she thinks that the another housemate do more.

Okay, I'm not really sociable with her, and she is very sociable with the another housemate but can this be the reason? Is there any psichological state that describes this?
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Re: She sees things different than the fact is

Postby michijo » Thu Dec 01, 2011 9:14 pm

In this case, I would say you are net greeting her efficiently. I would advise saying hello to her regularly and ask her how she is doing more or how her day is going. I think women are insane personally. :D
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Re: She sees things different than the fact is

Postby danscott7 » Thu Dec 01, 2011 11:05 pm

I think several things could cover your house mates issues. One is disassociation. Google it. I myself suffer from it.
Another is borderline personality disorder. I also suffer from that. I live in the same world others do, but at the same time I am mentally detached from it, living in my own little world, feeling as if reality is nothing but a dream that has virtually nothing to do with me.
I act accordingly.
I ignore things others pay attention to. I take lightly things others take seriously. I see others accomplish things, even changing their lives, and I simply don't get how that is possible.
I act accordingly. I get mad over little things. I let bills go unpaid. I ignore deadlines.
I would say be careful around this person as, if their condition is severe enough, they could be dangerous. I would say try and by sympathetic. Too many mentally ill get no sympathy, but, remember, it is not their fault, it is a medical condition which is no fault of theirs for having.
If possible, try to make them see the problem and politely, gently suggest they seek help.
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Re: She sees things different than the fact is

Postby My2cents » Sat Dec 03, 2011 7:59 am

If I read your post correctly,
she recently started acting this way, didn't do it before;
and she only does it to you.

I don't see enough information in your post to say for sure that she, or you, or anybody, has any particular disorder. The only thing I'm sure of is that this isn't really about the housework. I think she wants to criticize you, and the housework is the first available reason. Maybe she has a different grievance against you, but isn't comfortable bringing it up directly. Maybe she's going through a stressful time and taking it out on you. Maybe she envies you and does this to bring you down. Maybe she is trying to become more assertive/dominant and practicing on you. The reason could be anything, except housework.

It's about something other than housework, so it wouldn't accomplish anything if you got defensive when she criticizes you about the house not being clean to her standards. I don't think she is simply confused or believes something other than the facts. It sounds like you are a target. Has something happened recently, which would change your status in relation to her, or her status in relation to you? Has one of you been hired/fired, started/ended a romantic relationship, or anything else of that nature?

I'm thinking that she perceives you as a rival, but is afraid to compete openly, so she scores points against you in housework.
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Re: She sees things different than the fact is

Postby Frizzzy » Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:05 pm

I was looking into disassociation and borderline personality disorders, and even though I can recognize some patters of the latter one on her behaviour, I don't think she has any of those disorder.

What I can see is she has been in a stressful period because of her workplace. She has reason to be envy that is also related to workplace. I'm not really interested to talk with her, specially when she criticizes me, and this might make the situation worse. Is it possible?

I just don't know how to response on this situation - I don't want to make friendship with her, just want to avoid criticizism.

It is interesting that otherwise she is nice to me, e.g. when she goes to shop always ask if I need something, or offer her food to try when she cooks something (I never do.).
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Re: She sees things different than the fact is

Postby jwmII » Sat Jan 07, 2012 4:03 am

My wife does the exact same thing. Her issues range from how I drive to saying I went thru her purse, it gets bizarre sometimes. My best one is she claims to argue with my mother about something, acts like it got heated with her hands shaking and her voice quivering. I ask my mother and she says noting was said and there was not argueing
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