I cant manage my anger properly

i am easily provoked beeing a passive and always taking in the abuse and being always taken advantage . i dont know how to defend my self and my possestions . otheers impose on me . maybe i have loose bounderies and that why i have been just repelling and taking in other s negativty and abuse . i was abused as a child so developed a passive attitude always beaten up caused me to naturally be inclind to be taken advantage of i think this falso programming is my parents and cant seem to be assertive i have tried but it takes allot of change and determination but under real pressure i just loose it and get angry . i can easily be provoked and when i get angry and even if its not my fault in the end it turns to be my fault for not controlling my emotions . Emotional inteligence is nice but being passive for 35 years and telling me i need to learn assrertivty is really to difficult so i end up being rude and than feel sad i know it was my false self under emotional highjacking but what can i do the high jackers know how to highjack my emotions and control me so i just blast away rude remarks rageahollic i know it hasnt helped me casuse people start to avoid me and loose valuable relasionshipds but i dont know how to heal this wound . i blame it on my abusive father who never modeled proper anger manement or any positive roles he was a jerk always modelling anger and agressiveness he taught me to be angry that jerk

Heya,

It is quite difficult to turn your habits around into being productive, as opposed to be self-destructive as they currently are in your case. I once had immense rage - just like you - but i'm now quite docile. One path that you should explore is helping others... through your life, you have no doubt amassed a vast reservoir of wisdom in relation to managing anger, amongst other things. As such, you are now in a position to compart that wisdom to others who are going through the early stages of what you are going through.

So, all it takes in a practical sense is leaving doors open for people to walk through, complimenting them if they do something good, saying thank you to people who help you, etc. The feedback you get and the good deeds that you do should - over time - alter your behaviours, taking them away from anger and moving themmore towards a docile/peaceful state.

Just try it and see...

Kevin