Full of anger

I hate my ex so much. It was almost a year ago that she told me through her tears that she had sex with some disgusting coke head. I screamed at her, "You ######6 bitch" "You ######6 slut" "You're disgusting" etc. Good thing I didn't react physically. I took all my things and left. Haven't talked to her since. 3.5 years down the drain with this fake, stupid girl.

Not a day has passed that I don't think about how much I hate her. How much of a bitch she is. My grandpa died like the week before she did it too.

After a few months, I find out she got a new boyfriend. I wouldn't have cared if it wasn't one of my 'close friends'. It was at that point I realized he was just as fake as her. I haven't talked to him since I found that out.

I wish someone would pour acid on her face I hate her so much. Every time I think about her (multiple times daily), I want to scream. God damnit I hate that bitch. It feels like my anger is slowly progressing. How am I supposed to release this rage? I don't express anger easily. At all.

The best solution I've come up with is to get like a big tube TV or something and just smash it repeatedly with a bat. Screaming until it's completely destroyed. What do you think?

Now, it's confusing. I mean, I don't miss that whore at all. Why would I? She's obviously a piece of $#%^. But it feels like I'm slowly becoming depressed. I don't want to be depressed, am I just covering it with anger? What do I do?

That's just a short summary, I'd include every detail about the last year of my life but that would make it at least double this length and nobody cares anyways. I'm not expecting to get some remarkable result from posting this. Why am I even doing this?

Please understand that this post is in no way accusatory. It is simply offering another perspective so that you can look at things from a different angle.

I can't be certain but it seems that only part of the anger has to do with her. You seem to have internalized a some of it as well. I'm probably going to sound like a jerk, and you may want to ignore this entirely, but these are things that I noticed in your post.

"...she told me through tears that she had sex with some disgusting coke head." I doubt that's how she phrased it, but who knows? All I can say is that if she was crying over it, she obviously felt very broken up about it. Also, she had the courage to be honest with you and come clean. That takes guts.

"Good thing I didn't react physically." Instead, from what you posted, it sounds like you tore her down emotionally and then left her. This is not a healthy way to deal with that sort of situation. I'm sure there was more to it, but I can only go on what I was given to work with.

"I wouldn't have cared if it wasn't one of my 'close friends'. It was at that point I realized he was just as fake as her." It sounds like you felt betrayed by your friend and as a result cut him out of your life as well. As a friend, wouldn't it have been better to try talking to him. Perhaps warn him of her spurious nature.

"My grandpa died like a week before she did it too." I realize that this adds salt to the wound, but it's irrelevant unless what happened was a direct result of it. It's just another way of making it about you, which it wasn't.

She chose to cheat. That's all there is to it. That you left her should mean that it's over, but there are obviously some things that are unresolved. You don't seem to have found any sort of closure to this. That you're angry is obvious, but are you angry with her for cheating, or are you angry with yourself for being vulnerable?

I don't recommend the TV thing. That's a large waste of money and it's most likely not going to accomplish anything in regards to releasing your anger).