Dealing with irrational obsessions about religious people

I was once a religious believer at one time, but now I am an Atheist, and I have some trouble dealing with anger and rage towards religious people, and often see them as enemies. I've felt bad about this before to the point where I was in tears of some of the horrible and terrible things I thought I've wanted to do to religious people, but in the end I always go back to defaulting wanting to try to eradicate them from society in some of the most inhumane ways.

I've even lost interest in some people engaging in discussion with me because of some of the opinions I presented with them.

For example, I told people a good way to solve the problem of idiots preaching that our earth is young and we should reject scientific study and evolution is to either have them locked up in a psyche ward, or we should sterilize them so they can't reproduce more harmful thinking to society.

I realize it is a terrible thing to be in favor of a solution such as that, but I honestly don't really have enough logical arguments presented to me to back off from that belief.

I try to respect people as much as I can, but my frustration with all the horrible things religious people do such as teach children not to ever doubt, question, and that they will go to hell for stepping out of line, makes me want to go to the extreme of eradicating religious people from our society to bring peace to the world.

The problem is I often have a default to seeing people who have faith as inferior beings to me who don't actually think about anything, but do whatever they are told, so I often don't show them respect as a human being because I don't see them as a human being worthy of respect.

I am also gay, and I get so tired of hearing and reading all these religious people talking about the war on family and the war on marriage acting as if same sex couples getting married will diminish the quality heterosexual relationships.

If you have any advice, I'd be happy to read it. However, please don't start judging me and saying I'm a horrible person for thinking this and I am messed up, because I am not saying it is a good thing that I believe this. I just feel people can't really help what they believe.

Hi Jack,

I just responded to someone here who has had to suffer a backlash for coming out to his parents. This issue probably more than the religious issue gets me angry.

At any rate, in a practical sense, this issue (for the time being) is about what you think and what you do. If your angry feelings do not start to spill over into real life so much that it begins to hurt others or some such thing (I didn't get that it has gotten that far yet) then your are going to have move step by step towards some inner peace with this.

And I've been there. I grew up in a house with two atheists, who said I had to figure it out on my own. Very wise. Sadly, I was confronted with the black side of religion when I went out into the world, just like you. What I thought was ignorant, I would look down on. But it wasn't that so much as the people who persecuted other in the name of their God. And the issue of Gay Rights and the hatred by others who were supposed to represent kindness and universal understanding really infuriated me.

I guess it's a matter of focus. I have a lot of lovely friends who believe in God and are pro Gay Rights. They are also non-judgmental. There are also a LOT of people world wide who help those in need, because it is part of their calling.

What's that popular saying going around? "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die"

That's what did it for me. I think it is important to be upset about the things you see, but you need to put that feeling into action, by becoming active. Channel it into something good. And then put it away sometimes and let it be.

You don't have answer and neither do I. No one does. And everyone should be allowed to struggle for the truth in the way they believe. Those who don't tell others what to do or what to think - those are the good ones - Christian, Atheist, or any other thing.

good luck -

Otter.

It's totally understandable. I also deconverted after almost 5 long years of pure mental hell whilst I was searching for the truth, although I'd say I'm more of an agnostic deist than an atheist.

The venom towards gays was one of the reasons I deconverted although it mainly the doctrine of hell which I couldn't justify under any circumstances that had kick started the questioning process to begin with. Then came the problem of evil and suffering, plus no 2 Christians can ever agree on any one point of doctrine whatsover. I heard of Christian Universalism during my search for answers, but I saw such hatred from mainstream Christianity towards it, that it eventually dawned on me that most Christians want the doctrine of hell to be true. Unfortunately Christian Universalism too stopped making sense as well.

I joined another forum just over 7 years ago, and had no idea that I was interacting with mainly gay men at the time. I'm female and I was a staunch conservative at the time. What I saw on there was far from what I was led to believe about gay people. I went through my deconversion as a staunch conservative, and I've only become more liberal in the last 3 years or so. I'm a moderate with slight liberal leanings now.

During the worst phase of my deconversion as a staunch conservative I had this incredible fear "What if I'm wrong." I still do, but not to the same extent that I used to. I also felt this incredible anger towards this religion once I'd deconverted for the mind trap it places those that get caught in it's clutches, in. I tended to associate the word Christians with "pathological liars" as this is what I discovered during my 5 year long search. I no longer do as many of them are good people.

It took me a while to get the bad taste out of my mouth/mind after spending 3 weeks on a prominent Christian forum in 2009 whilst I was still a conservative myself, and witnessing their venomous attitude towards gays, non-Christians and anyone they deemed undesirable, which was so extreme, it totally enraged me at the time. It was more unpleasant than swimming in a sewer.

Unless they find themselves questioning Christianity like we did, trying to reason with them is like running around in circles. They either dodge questions, or engage in sophistry, projection and Ad-hominen attacks. Now that I'm over the anger stage myself, I'm indifferent to them unless they try to reconvert me. You'll probably find that your anger will pass in time and you'll come to a state of acceptance.

As far as Christianity goes, what has been seen cannot be unseen. I started my questioning phase 6 years ago, it took nearly 4 years before I realized that I'd deconverted in late 2011, and almost another year before I fully accepted it in mid 2012. The anger phase lasted nearly 9 months, but I've learned to come to terms with it.

This doesnt strike me as obsessions in the OCD sense of obsessions. Obsessions are intrusive, unwanted, and are typically seen as being at least somewhat irrational.

This strikes me as anger. And I get it. If someone was trying to use their religion to legislate my rights, I'd be pissed to. (and i am pissed as a woman, but thats another story) Do you have the ability to talk to someone about this and try to work through some of it.

On the other hand, there are a lot of religious people trying to work for gay rights, so maybe it would be helpful to look at some of those stories.

OCDhelp wrote:This doesnt strike me as obsessions in the OCD sense of obsessions. Obsessions are intrusive, unwanted, and are typically seen as being at least somewhat irrational.

This strikes me as anger...

This is a good point. I am going to copy this into the anger forum and see if we can get a cross-section of opinions.

I used to be very religious (I was a Hindu person) and I believed in God. I even went to religious service and posted on religious forums, until I saw all the bickering and infighting...until I saw all the intolerance and hatred for people who are 'different' - not only in their religious beliefs, but also in their mental health capacity. I thought that out of all the people out there, religious people would be more tolerant, more understanding and forgiving of my condition - I was gravely mistaken. They 'couldn't care less' just like the rest of humanity.

So, I prayed to God 'why did you make me autistic?' 'why do you let people be so mean and rude to me if I love you and pray to you?' 'can't you intervene somehow?...please, my Lord, please help me'...and after years and years, my prayers were never answered and if anything, the situation just went from bad to worse.

In the end, I stopped praying and I stopped believing when I saw all the bigotry and hypocrisy and if there was a God, he was very cruel and sadistic (not like the Divinity that scripture speaks of) and ergo, God does not exist. Therefore, I bypassed atheism and went straight on to anti-theism...

I don't really want to talk any more about it though (and I don't think I am allowed to anyway), so I'll just leave you all with this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=if-UzXIQ5vw

JackM678 wrote:I was once a religious believer at one time, but now I am an Atheist, and I have some trouble dealing with anger and rage towards religious people, and often see them as enemies. I've felt bad about this before to the point where I was in tears of some of the horrible and terrible things I thought I've wanted to do to religious people, but in the end I always go back to defaulting wanting to try to eradicate them from society in some of the most inhumane ways.

I've even lost interest in some people engaging in discussion with me because of some of the opinions I presented with them.

For example, I told people a good way to solve the problem of idiots preaching that our earth is young and we should reject scientific study and evolution is to either have them locked up in a psyche ward, or we should sterilize them so they can't reproduce more harmful thinking to society.

I realize it is a terrible thing to be in favor of a solution such as that, but I honestly don't really have enough logical arguments presented to me to back off from that belief.

I try to respect people as much as I can, but my frustration with all the horrible things religious people do such as teach children not to ever doubt, question, and that they will go to hell for stepping out of line, makes me want to go to the extreme of eradicating religious people from our society to bring peace to the world.

The problem is I often have a default to seeing people who have faith as inferior beings to me who don't actually think about anything, but do whatever they are told, so I often don't show them respect as a human being because I don't see them as a human being worthy of respect.

I am also gay, and I get so tired of hearing and reading all these religious people talking about the war on family and the war on marriage acting as if same sex couples getting married will diminish the quality heterosexual relationships.

If you have any advice, I'd be happy to read it. However, please don't start judging me and saying I'm a horrible person for thinking this and I am messed up, because I am not saying it is a good thing that I believe this. I just feel people can't really help what they believe.

Up until recently, while maybe not as passionate as you, I did not really care much for religion. I did not grow up with it because my mother did not want me to experience the hypocrisy of the church's teachings. The thing I've learned though, is that we are our own masters. We can take away what we want from others teachings but still live our own lives. You don't have to listen to 100% of what the church says and still be a believer.

For me, I am going to live my life the way I see, and you should too. The thing is, that ultimately having a belief in something will help you find peace with the universe; it doesn't have to be a religious thing either. Spiritually or religiously, finding peace will help you in all aspects of life and help calm your anger. If you want others to accept you, you must accept them as well.

I am not gay, but I have gay friends that I would never like to see judged for whom they are or whom they date. Their inner goodness is what I believe in, and how they act and treat others is what I really care about. If you let the positive thoughts control you instead of the angry, negative ones, you will be more at peace with the world. There may be times when you run into conflict, but you have to embrace that versus fray away from it. Ignorance and intolerance may flow through other people's blood, but you have to promise to never like them. Once education flows through the world, we can finally get over hating each other and love each other like we're supposed to.

Distant Angel put it into words nicely.

First off, I grew up being guided in a certain direction. I did not have my freedom of choice, but I know now that it was a good move on my parents' part and that I would be lost otherwise. There are different techniques when it comes to raising kids and who are you to say that one is better than the other. I was told to obey my parents and not to question them, etc, and surprise surprise... I'm very inquisitive and far from submissive. And no, I do not hate my parents, and no, no trauma.

Now that I am an adult I can make my own choices. I still get suggestions from some people, but I can listen and apply it or not.

I have a history of dealing with atheists. And while I accept their views and don't do anything to "convert" them, I see it like they are always trying to convert me. I deal with people from different religions and my experience with them tells me they are more open minded than atheists.

As Distant Angel said your faith does not have to be based on a god. You can be spiritual in different ways. I have to admit though that my religion did help me in some times.

It's so ridiculous that someone denounces their faith because they see some scandals on TV. Sure this should not happen and if it does it should be punished, but that does not stop me in any way. I apply it to me. I live by the standards, which I think are worth upholding. Everyone has their own rights and I do not try to tell someone to believe in this or that. You will find "bad eggs" in every group of society. There is no perfect human being, so how can there be a perfect religion, perfect church, perfect believes, etc.

You and I are in the exact same position, Jack, because I too question my sexuality and was raised by Catholics. If you want my advice, you need to start asserting the ever loving heck out of yourself as your own person. You are not obligated in any way shape or form to bow down to something that you don't want to be a part of, so you should not have to make an effort of changing people's minds because it's their problem and not yours. There's nothing wrong with putting your needs first and the next time someone tells you that you are the one who is being intolerant or that their feelings are hurt, tell them to look in a mirror.

Start making a blunt point that you are you and that you make your own rules of living as they have made theirs. I repeat that nobody ever has the right under any circumstances to keep you in a position that you're uncomfortable with. In the end, what matters is that you live up to your own expectations and you as a person with the ability to think, learn, and act for yourself are not up for debate. Stop thinking so much about right and wrong and just act according to your instincts.