Immediate Family

I tend to act a lot different in front of my immediate family members compared to others. It's not that I am happy with my family life, I just feel different I suppose. And I was also curious if people with Avoidant, Schizotypal, or other PDs that have difficulty in social situations, act any different around their family.

Sure I do act differently around my family. There's nothing to hide, no need to wear masks - I know them and they know me, so no chance of anyone pretending to be sth they are not, it would be too visible. Thus no judgement either.

shreimo wrote:I tend to act a lot different in front of my immediate family members compared to others. It's not that I am happy with my family life, I just feel different I suppose.

It's not clear to me if you mean you feel and act differently around your family in a positive or negative way.

My personal answer to your implied question: not really. I try to understand their point of view, for the sake of civility, but I don't feel anything particularly positive toward them.

anagram wrote:My personal answer to your implied question: not really. I try to understand their point of view, for the sake of civility, but I don't feel anything particularly positive toward them.

I haven't read all your posts so you may already have spoken of this:
Have you ever tried family therapy in order to defuse the situation with your mother?

archigallus wrote:I haven't read all your posts so you may already have spoken of this:
Have you ever tried family therapy in order to defuse the situation with your mother?

No, but I don't see how it could ever be beneficial in my case. Things are certainly not as bad as they sound anyway, considering your suggestion. She's more tolerable than my roommates in college were. My problems with her are mostly about the past.

Besides, I don't think this type of therapy ever works when someone is not interested in developing a personal relationship with their family. Also, it's probably far more effective in families where conflicts are overt and evident, and not systematically swept under the rug. There's no reasoning with unreasonable people.

I started a thread similar to this a few months ago:

post1041233.html#p1041233

I hope that helps.

If anything, being around my family heightens my schizoidness. I think it's because my brain knows that I should have emotional attachments to these people -- that they definitely aren't strangers, but I still feel like a stranger around them. I don't feel any closeness.

I think with strangers it's a lot easier because your over-formality isn't so pronounced.

It's a mix and a little difficult to figure out. In some ways I'm still acting like I did when I was 18 and left home around family. My family has a lot of problems, and I'm the least of them, so I just try not to stir anything up.

Depends. I'm pretty normal around most of my family. I have a very poor view of my mother, so I'm pretty defensive about certain subjects with her.

anagram wrote:

shreimo wrote:I tend to act a lot different in front of my immediate family members compared to others. It's not that I am happy with my family life, I just feel different I suppose.

It's not clear to me if you mean you feel and act differently around your family in a positive or negative way.

My personal answer to your implied question: not really. I try to understand their point of view, for the sake of civility, but I don't feel anything particularly positive toward them.

I left it that way for a reason haha. I do not get along with my family at all. I believe the biggest problem is my mother, who I KNOW has BPD :/ I know it's not her fault but most family problems come from her. I usually just sit in silence, but I can usually talk open with my siblings.

-- Fri May 17, 2013 8:34 am --

archigallus wrote:

anagram wrote:My personal answer to your implied question: not really. I try to understand their point of view, for the sake of civility, but I don't feel anything particularly positive toward them.

I haven't read all your posts so you may already have spoken of this:
Have you ever tried family therapy in order to defuse the situation with your mother?

We have quite a few times. Certain family members just don't apply the techniques into their life and just fake it thorough sessions. It's sad but my family has been broken for a while now.