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Need help getting my son over his first broken heart

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Need help getting my son over his first broken heart

Postby bassin » Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:05 am

I am really looking for help here. My son is trying to get over his first serious broken heart. He is a late bloomer I guess spent all of his time getting thur college and getting ready to go to grad school. While there he met a girl and they had a relationship for over a year and then she just dumped him with no reason why and would not tell him if there was a problem or someone else. He is having a hard time getting over it because he says she would not tell him what the problem was or answer any questions as to why. He has since starting a new job in a new town that is alot smaller than where he was and he says that this just keeping bugging him every day and I tell him to just try to let it go but it does not seem to be helping and someone out there tell me what to do I am at a lost as to what to do to help him.
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Postby Guest » Sun Jul 17, 2005 3:07 am

i spent almost 2 months in bed, reading, mainly in depression when i had my first breakup. she didnt say why, just that i wasnt making her happy.

i read stephen covey's writings and he suggests to do stuff that dont focuses on one self ie house chores, helping others, charity -- works like that help you focus 'outward.'

hope your son gets over it

tell him there is many fish in the sea, and he is worthy of a better gf



Postby DarkMaiden » Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:02 am

My first love, heh.
I spent a good ammount of time just crying in bed too. What is it about beds?
Secret: One of my bestfriends told me that the best way to get over someone is to meet someone else. I didn't want to believe her.
But oh was she right.
It's just blank...
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Re: Need help getting my son over his first broken heart

Postby Bastet06 » Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:54 am

This is a tough situation and I hope he finds the power to let go. I still can't find the power to let go and me and the ex have been on and off for years. I have already screwed up my life over her and even knowing this I still love her and want her back, it is pathetic I know. I hope to god one day I will be happy again, but it has been so long I just don't see it coming. Do everything in your power to lift him back up. I was once a young man of many achievements, including an Eagle Scout Award. In the last 3 years I have quit jobs over my ex, been arrested, filed bankruptcy at the age of 23, and still to this day feel like jumping off a cliff when I don't have her. Don't let him end up like me. If I could take it all back I would have just deleted her out of my phone the first time, and changed my number. I would probably have a house right now rather then living back with my parents.
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Re: Need help getting my son over his first broken heart

Postby Jerril » Mon Nov 09, 2009 5:55 pm

It's tough, and the best ingrediant to getting over someone, in my mind, is TIME. It's a hard pill to swallow, for sure.

Also, if someone has a strong connection with another, I think it can be really devastating to lose that love in our life. I think modern, industrialized cultures don't place enough importance on grieving. And, I think we trivialize the loss of a love.

So, I think, for your son, if he can realize that grieving the loss of a girlfriend is like when someone dies who we're close to, maybe he can deal with it more head-on. I don't know, but it seems to me, that whenever I break up, the tendency is to deny what I'm really feeling. Alternately, there comes a time to pick up and move on...

Depression can set in when we turn our sadness and/or anger inward and don't release it. I think it's important to be brave, face our feelings head-on, release some emotions (without wallowing in them), heal, and move on.

I like the ideas of doing some good service to feel better about ourselves, volunteer or whatnot. Also, I think you could find some good books on these issues to help you and your son.

Best wishes, Please keep us posted as to how it turns out.

P.S. I like people who deem their lovers as important to them and it sounds like your son is like that, and saw her as precious in his life. A lot of people out there jump around from lover to lover and don't really care that deeply. I think that sensitivity is a gift that allows us to open up to the subtleties and depth of emotion.
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