Question about RTS

If someone was raped at gunpoint by 4 guys approx. 32 years ago, then married and saw their husband raping their own 12 year old daughter, how would they handle a break up with someone that changed their mind about marriage? A week after the breakup she is charging me with raping her. Could these other tragedies in her life be affecting her at this point? She is 53 yrs old now. Her daughter is 25 years old. I am 55 years old and never a violent person to her or anyone.

Hi,

I just want to make sure that I have it right here: She married a guy, but then you 'convinced' her to end her marriage and then go out with you; but now her relationship with you has ended? If that's what has happened, then please confirm. Anyway, I'll phrase my response with thie view that this is the case.

Is she legally charging you with raping her? I know that you have not raped her, and there is therefore no evidence of it happening. So, you should be safe-enough. I imagine that she is accusing you of rape of all things because it is something that has featured heavily in her life, and she knows what it's like to both witness a rape and be raped (i.e. - she is 'knowledgeable' on the subject of rape).

If it's not a legal challenge, then I suggest keeping clear of her as best as you possibly can, and not to reply to any of he messages or calls. If it's a legal challenge, then consult a lawyer's agency and see what your options are.

Kevin

No,
That is not correct. She ended her 20 year marriage when she saw her husband raping their daughter. We dated 30 + years ago and I contacted her about 8 years after the daughter's rape. We were going to get married but when she wanted me to sell my house, pay her grown sons student loans along with other financial issues, I told her I could not marry her. Less than a week later I got a call from state police about raping her. It has just gone through the pre trial and been determined that a trial is in order.

Okay, thanks for clarifying, and it's just horrific what is happening to you. It still stands that there is no solid evidence in existence to back up her claims though. Have you got your own lawyer?

Yes,
I have a lawyer. She had a rape kit done 3 days after we broke up. We did not have sex the day she claims, therefor of course no sperm. She has some bruising on the front of her shins. This is due to her job as a furniture sales representative. She moves things around in the showroom. The prosecution makes it all look like it must have been a rape. The police didn't even put all my info in their report. The argument about the money not even mentioned. However, they claim I was controlling her money. It is so ridiculus.

It is ridiculous indeed... ...It sounds like she has no evidence against you at all, and I can easily see a judge ruling for your benefit. I wonder will her lawyer factor in her history, or would that be a disadvantage on her part? Either way, I'm sure that you've told everything about her past to your own lawyer. I hope it goes well for you. I have been accused before of things I never did, and I therefoe understand what you're going through.

Rape shield laws will probably not allow me to bring up her past rape. Prosecution claims there is a tissue tear. However, if I did this it was done during consentual sex. The last sex we had was about a week before when she claims. She is saying I sodomized her 28 times during a 1.5 month period. She went to work every day and had a cell phone. Her reason why she didn't come forward sooner was because she said she had low self esteem and thought no one would believe her.

What does she hope to achieve by this? Is she just sadistic and likes to see others suffer? It is terribly unjust.

She is trying to get revenge on me for not marrying her. I wanted to marry her. I told her we should go our separate ways when she wanted me to sell my house ( in this market ) and move into an appartment along with the other things I mentioned previously. I am not a psychiatrist. I know she has some type of problem. Hystrionic...bi-polar...borderline...delusional. I don't know which or all of them. I just wanted her to think about us not being together when I said we should go our separate ways. I still loved her at the time. Even now I love her. Now, I not only have to deal with breaking up with someone I love but also with her false claims. It is not easy.
With rape shield laws in my state, any previous sexual history can't be brought up. This means her own rape 30+ years ago. However, part of why I am being charged with 1st degree rape (Criminal Sexual Conduct 1st degree) is because she is saying she has post tramatic stress syndrome now and is on anti-depressants. She was taking these at least 1 year ago as far as I knew for her or her daughter's rape.
When I am in court with her (2 times so far) I fell so bad for her. I should be very angry or feeling bad for myself. I guess I just still love her. To me it is like if someone died the other person in the relationship would still love them. That feeling does not go away.
I think in the beginning, when she 1st made the complaint she maybe didn't think about this. Now it has snowballed out of her control also.
The first time we went out together....in 1972, we went to a drive-in movie. I tried to get sexual with her. She told me no. I stopped what I was doing immediately. The second time we went out .... same thing happened. I also stopped. I feel in love with her the first time I met her. I am just saying....I know "NO" means no. Everything after those 2 times was consentual. I am not into un-consentual sex at all.
Sorry for rambling. This just consumes me.

I guess I didn't post the financial things. She wanted me to sell my house. She wanted us to pay her 2 grown working sons student loans. I told her I wasn't paying for my son's student loans. No one paid for mine. She then said we would need to set up an account for him. Well, then if that happened, her daughter would be saying she wasn't getting anything. So what that would now mean is since the 2 son's loans were each $80/month. We would now be paying $320/month just for money to our kids for 20 years based on the term of the loans. She also owed money on credit cards. I only owed on my house. She owed me about $7000. I was not going to try to collect this when she left. When we got married I was not going to try to collect this from her either. The final thing was an inheiretance issue. I thought her kids should get whatever she had before our marriage upon her death. My son should get what I had before marriage upon my death. She wanted everything to get split equally. This would mean $.75 on the dollar would go to her kids. That would not be fair. The day after she left...I thought about the inheiretance issue. All we needed to do was get insurance. The other issues...I don't know how they could be comprimised. This was why I said we should go our separate ways.