I'm curious...

The almost dying probably affected it in you (your brain functioning). As for the part about not every premature being affected by this, I'm aware (I was born 4 1/2 months early) but it also caused me to have some emotional stinting. I experienced jealousy for the first time my senior year and it was my last time as of yet. I barely knew what it was when I experienced it, just of how it was described to me and what I felt was less than it, but it had the same affect to an extent. I, the majority of the time, lack empathy so I have to put on a face for it or make a reaction that they would expect me to. I actually have a picture of myself during one time that I forgot how to smile and so I made this big ol' face with the veins popping out in the my neck back when I was about 5. I can feel happy and hurt but I don't always feel it when I should, I guess you could say. It's kind of like when you're acting and you don't display the right face at the right time they know something is off because it's not the face or gesture you should be making. I know a lot of other premature babies who have problems with their emotions (well, they're teens/adults now).

Commedia: The he is my older brother. and lol I know, they hate it! My younger brother doesn't understand why I do it, but it's so hard not to! That and I could care less that I have the possibility of staying the night in a hospital. Call it stupidity or whatever, it just doesn't bother me.

Not stupid at all! I understand what you are saying 100%, actually. Staying a night in the hospital might turn out to be fun. It would be different. Entertaining if you have a roomie.

Wow, WDG, you really hit the nail on the head in some ways. Though I cannot remember if I was this way when I was younger or not, just that I started to notice it when I was about 12. When I was a child I was instructed to smile when in a photo, I was instructed on how to smile, because the way I smiled apparently was not a smile at all. So I can relate with your situation. I've also never really ever experienced empathy, and I used to wonder why I got so much flack because of the things I did and the way I acted when I was a child.

When I do experience emotions, they are often very small and it's rare that I do experience them. Though I still can't say how long this has been going on for, because I've only been more aware of these things in the past few years and can't really remember much of my childhood.

It is more than likely that the pneumonia did cause brain damage. Either that, or these traits were inherited from my father. Hopefully the neuroscience as a whole will be broadened in the future so we can find out.

Side note: hospitals are disgusting.

WGD1994 wrote:I was born 4 1/2 months early

Four and a half months?!? So you were only in the womb for twenty weeks?! I thought the earliest premature live birth on record was 23 weeks. How in Love's name did you live to adulthood, and......you weren't a failed abortion, were you?

I was born perfectly healthy, 10 on the apgar scale.
However I didn't eat anything and spat out the food they gave me at the hospital after birth. So they sent a probe down my nose to check if the oesophagus is ok and not dmaageg etc. Turns out everything was perfectly ok, I just didn't like the hospital food it seems.

As a small child (1-4 years old) I did undergo several diseases with very high temperatures - notably influenza and tonsillitis and was under threat of being sent to the hospital because of that.

That's all medical data I think could be relevant. As a small kid (3-5 yo.) I did some damage to myself (pulling down a crystal mirrir that crashed on me, falling down from fences, trees, gates, etc.) but nothing serious that would casue any bone fractures etc.

I was such a large baby that I broke my collar bone during birth.

Ow! You poor babe!!!
One

I noticed in either one of these posts or in another topic, someone said something about trying to stimulate emotions/feelings in what is considered an appropriate way. Have any of you (how and why)? Or don't care? And why?

Twinkling_Butterfly wrote:

WGD1994 wrote:I was born 4 1/2 months early

Four and a half months?!? So you were only in the womb for twenty weeks?! I thought the earliest premature live birth on record was 23 weeks. How in Love's name did you live to adulthood, and......you weren't a failed abortion, were you?

Pretty much. I don't know what the earliest one is, but I know premature babies can make it, it just depends in what part of the world you are in and whether or not they are willing--or have the resources--to do it. My older brother died when he was born at 4 months. I, myself, died about three times during my stay in ICU for four months. Some places won't do anything with babies born in a certain time frame of pregnancy due to the health problems prematures often face and get worse with the more premature they are. Some are quite lucky and are known as miracle babies.

As for the living into adulthood, it's mostly getting past the babyhood stage that presents the problem, but if it's any consolation, I had very high fevers and would miss up to two weeks of school at a time until the fourth grade.

ajrocker8 wrote:I was such a large baby that I broke my collar bone during birth.

Ouch. Did it heal alright?

I'm sure it did heal ok, my collar bone has been intact for as long as I can remember.

In regard to the OP's original post...
My daughter was born 6 weeks premature. She has learning difficulties and ADD (attention Deficit Disorder). It was determined by her pediatrician that she also has (or had at least) Opositional Defiant Disorder. She has developed an anxiety disorder as well, aka social phobia.
My daughter is now a teenager. She was a difficult child to raise and still is in some respects, but I'm finding that she's easier to handle as a teenager then she was as a child. Her and I have grown somewhat closer over the years. I think a lot of her developmental problems stem from the premature birth, but her behavioural problems are likely related to me.
I have Schizoid Personality Disorder and was also diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder in the past. I've mellowed to a certain degree over the years and while I still have what my psychologist described as "some sociopathic traits", I do not have AsPD anymore. Being a loner and a non-family oriented person I've struggled with parenthood. While my daughter was growing up I provided her with food, shelter and warmth, but no love and attention and as a result, she acted out. For a time I thought she might be developing early signs of AsPD as she would lie (and still does occasionally), steal and fight with other children. She was also quite aggressive towards me at times, biting and hitting me occasionally. Thankfully I began to realize that the more time I spent with her the less she acted out and the closer we've become as a family.
As for my birth, I'm not sure if I was born prematurely or not or if there were any difficulties while I was in the womb. It's not something I've ever really discussed with my mother. All I know for certain is my mother and I have never bonded. There's no real mother-daughter connection between us and never has been.