Need help: is my fiance normal?

Hello,
I am new to your wonderful & deep forum.
I have been with my GF (now fiance) for almost 4 1/2 years. The relationship was broken twice but we came back to each other. I came from a warm loving and well-balanced family. At the beginning, I thought my finace came from the same background. Her family are close, stable (financially) and also well educated. I am not paranoid or having a "SUSPICTING" mind at all. I always have the benefits of doubts, and give room for others to have their benefits of doubts. Accumulation of incidents throughout our realtionship has made me to strongly believe that my finace has been having sort of unusual relationship with her father and younger brother. It is not as simple as "daughter father, or sister brother" relationship. I am so confused. It reflects badly on me and put some strains on us. I can list some of incidents (example) that may help to explore the matter, if that can help. Is this going to be a healthy marriage for us? or should I reconsider my position?

Detail will be greaty needed.

-Nanashi-

Thanks
I will make a summary here, but I am still open to explain further if needed.
1) Back to my memory, I am now absolutely sure things started as “LUST” from her side. We jumped into intimacy quickly after we met at work. We are in the same profession.
2) It took me around 6 months to feel comfortable that she could be serious and genuine.
3) She was always shy, very depending and negative when it came to intimate relationship, though enjoying and demanding.
4) I noticed that she was always talking about her younger brother and very attached to him. I took it, at first, as normal loving sister..over protective of her brother .etc.. etc. They used to live together alone in her own flat. Parents were somewhere else. But this can be normal, as they both were already above their 20s. I noticed her extreme jealousy when her brother met his GF (who is now his wife). She did the odd things to break them up. I noticed when she ever met her brother, she became a different person. She forgot all around and focused on him passionately. You could see her eyes and emotions pretty obviously.
5) She is petite. So, she appreciated my patience, my gentle and careful approach in intimate meeting. She discussed that. But when I said “may be you are exaggerating the disproportion because you are small and petite”, she answered:”no, do not forget I was raised with boys in same house and am still (they are 2 boys and one daughter). She admitted seeing her brother naked. For me, seeing each other naked is very unusual. Then I said “but you were seeing me in special occasion when we are aroused and intimate but when seeing your brother , he was almost in calm normal situation specially you were around and seeing him. Her answer was shy, shaky but clearly there were indication that she saw her brother erected. How, and why..I don’t know..I don’t ask. She then said “he used to bring girls..She could hear them intimately and later she used to see them naked going to the bathroom. ..and that where could make the comparison. That was a puzzle.
6) She was critical of her mom. Her mom is loving and charming. They love each other for sure. But she was always critical of her mom over weight…not looking healthy etc etc. She then admitted that she discussed the issue with her father and how he has been deprived and how he has frustration because her mom life style. Going deep into discussion, she admitted that while talking to her father about his own frustration (she did that because she is also very close to her dad), she could see signs of his MALE frustration (sorry…I still find it hard to express thing exactly in open words..but I trust you will understand me).
7) Her father is unusually over protective and probably jealous of me. Example: we went to her brother wedding. He was, with his wife, next door to us in the hotel. At that day, I had not seen my fiancé for 6 weeks. After we sat with her parents, talked, had coffee in their room, we left to our room. He knew very well, we needed to be together and alone in our private room. Later he called, needed something. Then he knocked the door..He even had to come in while I was not ready, and had to push myself under the bed sheets and while his daughter was still having the shower.
They moved to a neighboring EU country. She could have stayed where I am/was. But her excuses to move her job to near her father were that she wanted to take advantage of tax free system and also to support her father career. I noticed the father daughter always came back alone to their own country and left mom behind there.
9) Once I visited them there. Mom was, at that time, in our country. I went to their computer to check my emails there. The PC was placed in the corner of the living area (not hidden anywhere). I realized for sure that the internet connection was down and there was an issue with the system. I tried to connect but failed. During my attempt to connect the system I had to click on some icons etc etc. Her dad was around and he pretends to be illiterate in computer world (or maybe he is). I cannot remember seeing or clicking on anything unusual or odd. He took to airport, with his daughter (my fiancée). The following day she rang to say “my dad seen you accessing pornography on our computer”. I explained to her that that was impossible because there was no connection….also I am not that kind of person who would do that plus the fact that the PC was already in the living area PLUS I did not need Porno because I loved her and went all the way to see her and to be intimate with her. I was so angry, and wondered and even asked why he couldn’t raise this matter with me face to face while there. Her mother went back after a few days. I rang her (she is my favorite friend). She confirmed that the PC is hers and that she was aware the connection was down till she came back and it was repaired after.
I have too many other memories but enough for now.
I really appreciate your input. I am in big dilemma

There are some similarities in what you are describing and what is known to be incestious relationship behaviors. True, some can be dismissed as a close family and being odd but, there are things which should not occur in her relationship with her brother and father. The fact that she left you behind and went to be near her father, leaving the mother behind raises an alarm in my mind. That could just be me. Perhaps if you showed less discomfort with her shared experiences, she might have revealed more. Maybe.
I have no idea what to tell you on what to do. You love her but, you cannot continue a relationship with doubt on your shoulders. Especially if you are to be married. I would have said wait and see if the behavior insues after you are married but, that would be too late and wrong. You may have to be honest and tell her how you feel. Personally, I would do so. She may be more than angry and could form a rift ending your engagement yet, I can not see things lasting unless you silence your consciouss. If you have anything to say further, please do. I do not want to mislead you. The situation and events are serious as you said and I do not believe you are paranoid. With love.

-Nanashi-

Hello Nanashi

Thanks for your input.
I am not really sure if there was a misunderstanding from my previous post. Her father moved to his new job in another EU country and of course he took his wife with him and they are still together. I meant: my faince and her father used to come back, either for short vsit or for an edcuation course, and left the mum behind there.

Please, read the previous post again. Do you truly think this can be classifed under "closest family and being odd"?
I agree that I should not wait till it is too late and wrong. I need help. I can not discuss this sensitive issue with my own family. They can be shocked. Also, I can not discuss it with close friends either. I like to keep my privacy and my respected image.

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ICU wrote:I don't think there's enough info to say if there is something more going on. You may have to bring it up or do a bit more snooping.

Thanks ICU
Snooping and intrusion are not my way or prniciples. Direct confrontation (bring it up) will bring death certificate of the relationship. As I said earlier, I am not paranoid nor do I have my own "suspecting-mind". I am seeking help and sharing experience, in the hope that I could be considered as an "old-fashion" guy or coming from a "conservative, old fashion background. End of the day, my gut and my instinct is telling me "that can never be normal". I can be more open about the details in the long post (above). But I need specific questions to answer. The father of my fiance hated his own mother. I met her but she died a few years ago. She had strong personality and he claimed that she was so influential on him and his dad. I could feel he had been holding deep bitterness from his mom. I do not know if that is relevant. He even accused her of having an affir with the boyfriend of his own sister (his mom's daughter) after the death of his father.
I wish, in this forum, I can come to a conclusion and can make final decision, painful or sweet. My head has been spinning.

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ICU wrote:My brother married a pretty conservative woman. She viewed my step-Dad to be abnormal. He did end up grabbing her ass once, to her horror. It kinda cuts both ways. I'm not really comfortable around her and her family, because I think they're too conservative. (I've never seen her parents act affectionately to each other, no R-rated movies, etc) It's like walking on egg shells over there.

I know this doesn't really add much to your dilemma.

ICU
With all due respect, most of your replies are too confusing and may add to the dilemma of the person who is her for help. I have followed and read some of your comments on other threads.
I thank you anyway.

ICU, I have warned you that your comments are triggering and confusing before. If you can't offer respectful advice to people who post in the abuse forums, please stay away from them. We don't take harassment lightly.