accepting myself as a necrophile

i am new to this site but i thought i would just say what i was feeling and see how things go. i am a 30 year old female necrophile. i have known for many years but felt shame and tried to hide it, mostly because of what people have said in the media and around me. i am in the "coming out" stage and trying to accept who i am sexually and the fact that it will never change. i am looking for support, that is all. and if there are any other necrophiles who would like to talk about this subject, please do. i hope i am not alone here

I'm not a necrophile personally, but I hope it's okay if I reply anyhow. I understand if you prefer I didn't. Personally I've never understood the stigma against necrophilia - I mean, who exactly is it harming...? It's one of the strangest stigmas I know of, and I think also one of the best examples of people just not thinking about things. :\

I'm glad you're coming to accept yourself! It's a very difficult process, even when you know intellectually there's nothing 'wrong' with you, to learn emotionally that everything people say about you and what you are isn't true and to ignore it. If only it wasn't necessary, eh?

Hi, cute_necro_chick.

I can emphasise with your feelings of shame, but I'm far from the 'coming out' stage about being a necrophiliac. I doubt I'll ever be ready to shout it from the rooftops.

I was thinking of posting something similar to this actually, about living with a paraphilia. About living with the shame that comes over at times.

I've had some bad days recently, when the thought of what others would think of me has made me want to just disappear from existence. I've thought along the lines of: "Everybody who knows me would absolutely hate me if they knew what I really am. I would be utterly disgusting in the eyes of everybody I care about, therefore I am absolutely disgusting."

Today I'm having a normal day, when I'm not concerned with what people may think of me if they knew. Everybody has flaws, and no person should be defined entirely by one aspect of their make-up. There's a lot more to every human being than who or what they are attracted to.

About dealing with shame... There are some days when I can't deal with it. Most of the time though, I can remember that the reason why most people would detest my attraction, is that they wouldn't understand it and would judge me on a pre-conceived image in their head of what a necrophiliac is.

The shame comes from agonising over what others might think, so why should we be bothered about what people who don't understand might think?

you are right. thank you for the advice. everything people think the know about necrophilia, for the most part, is based on what they have heard, and what they think it might be and i know i cannot change and i did to decide i was going to be this way. and anyone who says you can change what you are sexually attracted to has never been in my place because i have tried in the past and i have decided as a 30 year old woman to just accept it because it is a part of who i am. i am however, so much more as well and i feel that i am a good person.

I've accepted who and what I am, but it's a fact that as human beings, we have a psychological need for approval from others. Other peoples' opinions affect our self-image, whether we like it or not. If it was easy to insulate our own self esteems from what other people think, then we'd all be much happier I'm sure.

I think it's a necessary life skill that everybody needs to some extent. Some more than others, such as politicians and people who stand up for particular causes/ideologies that they believe in. Everybody needs to be thick skinned to some extent, unless they're happy to be submissive and obedient their whole life.

I've told myself a million times that I'm happy with what's in my heart, and that I don't care what anyone else thinks. The truth is, I'm human, so of course it weighs me down at times. I'm not sure if there's an answer other than telling yourself that the human race is full of ignorant cretins whose opinions are worth diddly squat. It's that or hardening oneself in a way that I don't particularly want to.

All good things come in threes.

Good evening girls or good afternoon, whereever you may come from!

Over the past year I've been desperately looking for other necrophiles - female necrophiles like me.

I'm 36. I've kind of known since I was 15.

I've come out to a few friends over the past 12 months. But there's only one I can freely talk about it with. The others would never really understand, although they have remained my friends. I think it is because I have also had "biophile" relationships and because they think I will get over it as soon as I find the right guy. But I know I won't.

I would love to speak to both of you in a more private context.

I don't feel so alone anymore, now.

P.S. I have just realised that graveyard is male. Still glad. Still looking for other female necrophiles.

Hi, Sandra.

Welcome to the forum! It's great to have another necrophile on board!

Well done for being able to 'come out' to some of your friends. I wish I was able to do that. I'd never have told a soul had it not been for the internet and this place in particular. It's not something I'd expect anyone to be understanding about, and I really don't fancy being labelled according to popular misconceptions.

It's interesting. I can count on one hand, the amount of genuine necrophiles I've made contact with online, and they've all been female. That blows one popular misconception out of the water!

Please feel free to PM me if you need support or have anything you don't want to say on the public forum.

Hi there. I'm a 23 year old female necrophiliac.
I have to say, people are much more understanding than you think. My friends and my partner know about the fact that I'm into corpses and erotic gore.
They were very understanding about it and didn't seem to mind. Though of course, they've heard of much weirder things to be into, so in comparison, I'm normal in their eyes lol.
Don't let it get you down. I think you did the right thing talking about it online. That's kind of how I was able to accept myself as well. Over the years, I've met and talked to many different people with many different fetishes. It made me realize that, sexuality can't be crammed into one single definition. It's wide, varied and complicated.
Be happy with who you are. Remember that you're never alone.

You're lucky to have such open minded friends, EnzaiLady.

I wonder if it could be something to do with your age group, being from a generation that has grown up with the internet, and is therefore more accepting of various sexual tastes?

There are a lot of females of our ilk, arent there?