I'm a non-offending pedophile

Hey, this is my first post here so I'm not entirely familiar with the way things work here. I've seen plenty of threads concerning pedophilia here, so I'd like to share my story. Firstly, I do this, because I want to help people who struggle with these same issues and secondly this seems to be one of the few places where I can talk about my feelings.

I'm 21-year-old non-offending pedophile with primary sexual attraction to girls aged 5-12. I think, most of my attraction to kids is platonic, rather than sexual. I see little girls as incredibly cute and adorable. When I see a child I mostly feel strong tenderness and protective urges. I have suppressed my sexuality to the point where I don't have boners or anything like that, whenever I see them, even though I find their features attractive. I use drawn images, which are 100% legal, as an outlet, in addition to fantasizing about once a month, for my sexual desires when I masturbate, which is about once a week. I have never had child porn, because I despise it.

When I was about 13 I noticed I was attracted to much younger people than my classmates were, which I thought was temporary. I lived in denial for four years until I had to accept I was indeed a pedophile. I had thought and conditioned to think all pedophiles were evil child molesters so the cognitive dissonance I had during the first months after realizing I was a pedophile almost made me insane; I had never harmed anyone nor intended to, so why should I start thinking I'm suddenly a bad and sick person now? I felt desperate need to tell my family and friends about this, but I knew I could not, because in this society all pedophiles are considered beyond evil: this is something I have to take to the grave with me.

I'm against all forms of sexual activity between adults and children. The idea of considering to act on my desires on a real child makes me want to puke: the risk imposed on the child's welfare is too horrible and they definitely can't consent to something they don't understand: when I was a child I definitely would not have wanted some adult to do sexual things to me I could not have understood. Why the default attitude in mainstream is that pedophile has to think its right to have sex with children or is a sex offender? After all, we don't generalize all males as rapists just because some of them rape... Every pedophile has the ability to control his desires, those who molest simply chose not to.

I'm mildly depressed nowadays with occasional suicide thoughts, which I'm not going to act on either, since I don't want to cause suffering to my family and friends: I could never explain them why I did what I did on a suicide note. I have considered talking to a therapist, not because I think I'm a threat to children, but because I have no one whom to talk to in real life about this issue. The sad part is that I've heard too many pedophiles telling me that their therapist slammed their door shut immediately after hearing their patient was a pedophile, albeit a non-offending one.

I think I'm going to end this here. I didn't plan on writing this much

I guess that's one reason I never went to a therapist, other than the fact that I really don't think there's anything wrong with what I am. I don't go around desecrating or abusing corpses, so what's it to anyone else. I don't see necrophilia as a condition I have, rather a preference. It's sad that I prefer corpses over live partners, but I just do. Some say it's unhealthy, I say it's the only way I remain serene. I don't really have any desire to connect with anyone anymore, and I'm fine with it. I don't like when people feel sorry for me, awwwww, poor little necrophiliac, afraid of making connections. No, I'm not afraid to make connections, I just don't care to. Sorry if this makes no sense.

It does make sense and I can relate to much of what you said. I think as long as no one is hurt or endangered by these conditions/preferences therapy is not needed. I decided long time ago that if at any point I feel I might be a threat to children, I would seek therapy immediately, but since people don't generally get stupidier as they age I'm pretty sure my principles and values won't change to those of child molesters who rationalize their behaviour so I won't be needing therapy. I've read a bit criminal psychology and I really don't fit into the impulsive or amoral type that commit sexual crimes.

Have you ever considered talking to a trusted friend about your necrophilic preference? That might be of some help. Cheers.

O, but of corpse I have!

LOL!
Actually, my whole entire circle of friends knows by now. I'm very public about who and what I am. I mKe absolutely no conscious effort to hide it, and I see no need for me to get therapy, and absolutely no need to be medicated! I'm not hurting anyone or desecrating anyone, I'm still safe, trustworthy, and a warm person, so what's the point?