I'm just a pretty backward guy that needs help.

I'm strongly attracted to girls as young as 2 or 3, not exclusively but primarily. I'm able to facade a normal life and I've been doing so successfully for a few years now. Nobody I know has a clue. I'd never touch a child because of obvious repercussions both legal and family orientated. On the other hand, I don't want to either because I know it's wrong. It would destroy any hope of leading a normal life again. I'm 19 years old and for the past 7 or 8 years I've found that as my age has increased my desired sexual partners ages have decreased. I used to think it was normal to have these feelings at 13/14 but now I'm almost 20 I know there's something very wrong. In recent years I've not only had these feelings but I've also been developing attractions to rape, beastality and other very violent things. I'm perfectly normal on the outside but what people see and speak to every day is somebody very different from me. I've got Asperger's syndrome and several other dysfunctions but I've never been to a doctor about what I'm posting now in fear of them going to the authorities. I don't believe in doctor-patient confidentiality in the slightest. If my family found out who I really am I'd never see them again and that terrifies me because I can't help how I feel any more than a person can help their gender or the colour of their skin. The important thing is that I've never acted on it and I never will but I suppose one can only suppress something so much. I need to speak to people my age who know what I'm going through. My ex girlfriend almost caught me out before our relationship ended for a completely separate reason and it's put the fear of god in to me. What if she would have found out? I need help and I want to help others, too.

Hi.

First off, let's cover the important thing right now. The overwhelming majority of pedophiles never offend their entire lives. The idea that we're all ticking time bombs just waiting to go off is a myth.

I'm a pedophile in my early thirties. My primary age of attraction is 0-10. I've lived with these desires since my sexual awakening during puberty, and it hasn't gotten any harder to control myself over the years.

My fantasies can get pretty dark and violent too. It's totally possible to keep fantasy and reality separate without any real problems.

If you ever feel like talking, I'm here, and I'm sure that a ton of other people on this board are willing to help out too.

Hi Anonymous,

First, I want to reinforce what YouthRightsRadical said. You're not a ticking time bomb. I shouldn't pretend to know what's normal among all pedophiles, but neither I nor any others whom I've spoken with seem to have issues keeping their sexual desires to themselves. If you DO feel like you're having uncontrollable compulsions to act out, that is a problem, and one you should try to discuss with somebody. It's simply a fact that there is some subset of pedophiles (and non-pedophiles) who, for whatever reason, are lacking in inhibition and self control with their desires.

I've never had the opportunity to get to know a non-exclusive pedophile. If that describes you, you should still be able to pursue a completely fulfilling sexual relationship with an adult woman, and I've heard that focusing yourself sexually into a relationship like that is really beneficial for coping with your sexual desires towards children.

I developed many unsavory fetishes/attractions myself, bestiality included. I strongly feel this happened to me by viewing progressively more "extreme" pornography as a fairly young teen. If you think that might apply to you, well, I would recommend cutting back on pornography.

I was able to talk to my family about my pedophilia, but that's not something everyone can do. Talking about what you're going through is certainly helpful, though. I also want to try to help others if I can.

It looks like we're both new here. Welcome to the forums, and I hope you can get what you've come here for.

I'm also open if you want to talk, but in general it's wise to be wary of discussing certain things privately with single-post accounts.

See my post on becoming a Functional Pedophile. Most importantly: STAY AWAY FROM KIDS. Period.

As to what you fantasize about, there is no shame unless you act on it. It's not a sin unless it hurts another. Acting on it is the ONLY issue. Sadly, we all look at lots of porn now. As we look at more and more, we crave newer, more extreme stuff. The stuff I like now, I was horrified by 30 years ago. We evolve. It's OK. We can still function.

Masturbate to your heart's content (don't be an addict, of course). I still beat off 10+ times a week. Don't be ashamed of it. Change your method each time. Keep a light grip. Cut back when you get sex.

But dude, you are SURROUNDED by legal bodies I would LOVE to do. If you were 52 like me, you dream of those days when the bodies were tight and your boners were constant. GET OUT THERE. GET INVOLVED. Get a girlfriend. Don't tell her anything...keep your fantasies to yourself. The world looks a lot better when you're looking up at a young adult girl's face from between her legs, believe me. Make that your priority. Then work to become a really caring, good lover who cares about his partner's needs first.

But all young pedos need to give up on the idea that a girlfriend will somehow make you "normal." Nope. you'll have the same fantasies. You'll close your eyes and pretend she is the perfect age. You might even get her to act out a bit.

You were probably born a pedo, but you're definitely going to die one. It's how you live the life between that matters. I prefer to live it outside of jail and in my private mind.

TryingHarderEveryDay wrote: But dude, you are SURROUNDED by legal bodies I would LOVE to do. If you were 52 like me, you dream of those days when the bodies were tight and your boners were constant. GET OUT THERE. GET INVOLVED. Get a girlfriend.

The last thing kind of contradicts the rest doesn't it?