Coprophilia - My story

In all seriousness this is my biggest regret in my life, becoming involved in Coprophilia.

For those that don't know,

Coprophilia is the attraction to the smell, taste, texture or sight of the act of defecation as a primary means of sexual arousal and gratification. Erotic fulfilment with excrement may be practiced alone or with a sexual partner. A common slang term for this is "scat sex", other less common ones may exist. Except in the case of consuming feces, generally scat play is safe when played alone and safe with a partner if one uses protection so as not to come in direct contact with a partner's excrement. Female-bodied individuals must be particularly cautious, as fecal bacteria is a prime cause of UTIs and vaginal infections.

It all started when I was young. I hated white underwear for some reason and when I wore them I'd be turned on. (this isnt the disorder yet) Eventually it felt odd and good that I urined in them. I urined my bed for days when I was a young boy and stopped when my parents found out about it.

When I was young, I hated bowel movements. It felt gross and stuff. After discovering masturbation, I eased bowel movements with masturbation so it felt good and bowel movements werent so gross. I don't know how it happened but the two finally caught up to eachother and I became acustomed to the smell when I would masturbate.

Everything escalated as time grew on, I've been in this fetish for a while now. I believe since I was 12 at least. I am 18 now.

I've wanted to stop and I'm very embarassed about this. I don't know my next action. I am very motivated and I can stop this but I'm not sure how.

I will not talk to people about this (besides you guys) because I am ashamed and if people found out -- it would change everyone's opinion on me --- i just know it.

Family history of illness? My mom has anxiety problem in which she consumes paxil as treatment.

I need all the support I can get and to go more than a month without these acts would be great! I wish never to do this again! Ever!

Thanks all of you for taking the time.

Your paraphilia would probably be best treated by a therapist who is trained to handle such sexual anomalies. When we are naked in front of a physician, we often feel nervous and shy. But physicians, just like therapists, see our diseases and disorders and don't judge us like normal people would. If you are afraid of bringing up the subject to your parents (or whomever) in order to explain why you need treatment, then please know that your secret is protected by confidentiality. Tell mom and dad that you're feeling depressed or something... this isn't entirely false, and it's your right to keep your problem to yourself.

I know you probably don't want to hear that, so... I'll give you something else to work with. I feel like educating myself helps me understand and therefore conquer my problems. So I recommend reading... a lot. Here's one book I found that you might be able to use: Sex Crimes and Paraphilia by Eric W. Hickey. I know that your problem isn't actually a crime (and therefore your reasoning behind reading this book would be better hidden as just an interest in crime or profiling or whatever). But, you can see from this table of contents (http://www.vonl.com/CHIPS/sexcrime.htm) that Chapter 13 is called Coprophilia: Origins, Development and Treatment.

From what I hear, paraphilias often occur in combinations of two or three at a time... maybe you have other concerns that would be addressed in this book or others like it.

Best of luck to you, Ed. I hope you find a workable solution.

It's also refured to as scat. Its a fetish with it's own following. Not many's tast (no pun intended) but it is more normal then you think. Lots of stuff on the net about it.

It takes alot of courage for you to share your story, and respect you for wanting to change this behavior. It isn't 'normal' sexuality, no matter how many other people one may encounter who engage it. By no means am I judging, quite the opposite. You can get help and I think your feelings of wanting to change shows that you realize you this can be very problematic.

Please know that any paraphilia that is acted out with non-consenting adults is criminal. Some paraphilia's are automatically criminal by nature (pedophilia). But I happen to know in Ohio, the collecting of any body substance from any non-consenting adult/minor is now Criminal. The law passed because because of a man with a compulsive Urine Fetish in the Columbus area. He was setting toliets in public places to collect Urine.

I also happen to know that there is a rare case, in Ohio as well, where a man set up commodes to collect feces from non-consenting adults and children for over 3 yrs. This fetish- coprophilia and Menophilia (collecting menstrual blood) for sexual gratification, began early in his life, but became obsessive to the point of being unable to be sexual without some form of this fetish- and without consent from his wife. That also constitutes sodomy. He would never admit he had the paraphilia, but was caught in the act of collecting. The situation is a mess, and the wife is divorcing the man, and trying to protect her children from having contact with him, as he involved them as well, unknowingly.

So I strongly encourage you to seek the help you desire before the behavior gets damaging in ways you may not plan or intend.