For those that don't know,
Coprophilia is the attraction to the smell, taste, texture or sight of the act of defecation as a primary means of sexual arousal and gratification. Erotic fulfilment with excrement may be practiced alone or with a sexual partner. A common slang term for this is "scat sex", other less common ones may exist. Except in the case of consuming feces, generally scat play is safe when played alone and safe with a partner if one uses protection so as not to come in direct contact with a partner's excrement. Female-bodied individuals must be particularly cautious, as fecal bacteria is a prime cause of UTIs and vaginal infections.
It all started when I was young. I hated white underwear for some reason and when I wore them I'd be turned on. (this isnt the disorder yet) Eventually it felt odd and good that I urined in them. I urined my bed for days when I was a young boy and stopped when my parents found out about it.
When I was young, I hated bowel movements. It felt gross and stuff. After discovering masturbation, I eased bowel movements with masturbation so it felt good and bowel movements werent so gross. I don't know how it happened but the two finally caught up to eachother and I became acustomed to the smell when I would masturbate.
Everything escalated as time grew on, I've been in this fetish for a while now. I believe since I was 12 at least. I am 18 now.
I've wanted to stop and I'm very embarassed about this. I don't know my next action. I am very motivated and I can stop this but I'm not sure how.
I will not talk to people about this (besides you guys) because I am ashamed and if people found out -- it would change everyone's opinion on me --- i just know it.
Family history of illness? My mom has anxiety problem in which she consumes paxil as treatment.
I need all the support I can get and to go more than a month without these acts would be great! I wish never to do this again! Ever!
Thanks all of you for taking the time.