A bit confused, could use advice

Hey guys
So, over the past couple of months I've been thinking a lot about a couple of things I've been a bit concerned about. Those being that I don't seem to be romantically interested in anyone, and I'm kind of obsessed with death.
If I can elaborate on the first point (or just skip to the end, whatever), I guess, throughout my whole life, I've been pretty awkward. Even in high school, where everybody is dating and all of the other pretty young girls were supposed to spend their time gossiping about boys and putting on makeup (for the sole purpose of looking prettier for the boys, of course), I never saw anybody I found even remotely attractive. In fact, people seem to be a bit of a turn-off for me (which can cause some issues, for pretty obvious reasons). Even people saying stuff like "listen to that guy's accent! He's so hot, I bet you could drown a toddler in my panties!" is completely bewildering to me. Now, let's go onto the next point, as I had written up the entire post but stupid private browsing logged me out and lost everything I'd written.
My obsession with death isn't so much "oh, I wonder what happens when we die?" stuff, but more like a couple things that seem to all share that theme. One big thing is how I spend a huge amount of my time daydreaming about monsters and serial killers, and them going about and ripping peoples' throats out. Among other things, I also collect animal bones I've found in the forest and have considered careers as both a coroner and a mortician. However, I've only realized recently how they're probably all related.
And, that brings me to the original reason I wrote this post (hello, people who skipped all the rest!), that I think I might be a necrophile. I came to this conclusion after I realized porn where one party is asleep worked a bit better for me, and quite recently I got the shivers after fantasizing about kissing a dead guy (which is quite shocking, as I have the sexual responsiveness of a damp paper sack) and have been thinking quite a bit along that ilk since then. So, yeah. Advice or opinions or something would help pretty darn immensely.

Hi! Welcome to the forum!
I wasn't sure if I should post here because I'm not a necrophile, therefore I don't know if I can be of help, but I've worked with autopsy before and what I can offer is a description of my own experience.
Despite working with dead bodies and being curious about death and corpses, I never felt my interest was sexual. The only things that I find "attractive" in a way are their expressions and the color of their bodies (I like noticing how our skin has so many hues and how death can alter it, it's because I like painting portraits and bodies), but it wasn't something sexual for me. I didn't consider the smell, rigidness or coldness appealing, for example. I never wanted to touch them sexually. As time passed, death and corpses became something natural. Working in this field was a great experience, actually. I learned a lot not only about death, but about life.
What you said about living people being a turn-off was kinda funny because I can relate. When I had this job, I realised that sometimes being in the company of corpses was preferrable than being in company of some coworkers, lol.
So, what I wanted to ask is, are you sure you're not interested in it because it's something we don't see everyday, like a curiosity about the unknown, maybe? Are you sure it's sexual and not appealing in a different way? For example, I admire some characteristics of corpses in an artistical sense.
When you look at photos of dead bodies, do you think they're sexually appealing?
More importantly, if you reach the conclusion that you're really a necrophile and you're considering these carrers you mentioned, please bear in mind that you would need to have self-control in order not to act on your urges. I know some people who enjoy working with their object of desire and they don't act on their urges, but I'd avoid doing this, personally, because I think it could be painful for me, being so close and having to restrain myself.

Anyway, think about it but try not to worry so much, consult a therapist if you feel you need specialized advice, and if you turn out to be a necrophile, I believe it's not the end of the world. Depending on the paraphilia, I know how difficult it can be (I have one I must not act on my urges either), but hopefully necrophiles of this forum will read this thread and they might have some advice for you

Thanks for replying I wasn't neccesarily looking for somebody with personal experience, just someone to talk to.
And I do feel like it's a sexual thing, but also appealing in other ways. Probably the unusual, unknown thing you mentioned is a factor. I also did do a bit of research on the subject to give myself a bit more info, and I did see mentioned that necrophilia can stem off of low self-esteem (which is probably one cause, as I do have pretty terrible self-esteem). However, I was interested in those jobs in more of the non-sexual fascination rather than the sexual one, so I don't think I would have very many problems, especially if I talk to somebody about this. I was probably going to talk to somebody anyway (to see if I could use anxiety medication) and I was wondering if I should bring this up, and thus the reason I started this thread.

hello, necrophiliac here. you are not alone! Its almost like looking back on myself reading about your struggles, and I just wanted to say that it's okay. I know it seems really worrying but the uncertainty is one of the worst parts. If dead people is what works for you, it doesn't mean that you are some kind of monster. Many people have been where you are now and although it's a scary concept to think that you appreciate death in a way that has been stigmatized by society, but nothing is solved by fighting it. if you are attracted to corpses it is a bit unusual, but fighting it just causes needless stress and self loathing. No matter what you like just be happy regardless, there is nothing wrong with it (as long as you don't do anything harmful), so just go for what you enjoy!