weird combinations - pedophilia, necrophilia

Ok, this is extremely weird.
Mind you, this is gonna sound and look confusing.

Pedophilia:
romantic attraction: RARE sexual attraction YES exclusiveness: MOSTLY (living)

Necrophilia:
romantic attraction: YES sexual attraction: YES exclusiveness: NO

Attraction to adult girls:
romantic attraction: YES sexual attraction: RARE exclusiveness: NO

Considerations
Although I obviously prefer early pubescent bodies and prepubescent bodies, I can't say I'm completely indifferent to adult [female] bodies, especially when I get these violent moments of extremely high sex drive. But it rarely happens that I normally fantasize about
adult girls, as I don't care about them much.
A distinction between the living and the dead must be done though. I am very reluctant to get in a relationship with a living girl, and the idea of "normal" sex with an adult makes me feel empty inside. Big no no. So, paraphilic sex with an adult girl is ok, would be awesome, but normal sex is not and makes me sick. But normal sex would be ok for me (if legal) with early teens. Makes sense, doesn't it?
I give up. I can't find a reason for this. I don't know what makes this combination possible.

That was for living girls.

About dead girls...well....definitely long-term romantic relationship here would be totally natural to me. When I picture myself being in love with a dead girl all kinds of extremely romantic thoughts come to my mind, just like a non-paraphilic man would love his girlfriend/wife. I don't know how to explain, but for me, that would be the most natural romantic relationship, also the deepest one, one entire day wouldn't be enough to describe this. It would make me the happiest person on earth.
I would rather visit the grave of a dead girl and stay there forever (without doing anything illegal though) than date a living girl and go out with her.
Talking about necrophilia....children/early teens or adult girls? I'd say both, but with a strong, and I mean strong, to the point of being exclusive preference for adult girls - while it's basically the opposite thing for living girls. Makes perfect sense.

My pedophilia is mostly sexual, cause I find it hard to be connected with a child on an emotional level, I mean in a romantic way. Very hard. Maybe with girls ranging from 12 to 15 it would be more possible, but still, it'd be kinda weird because they don't have the level of maturity of adults.
The fact I might have feelings for a living girl though doesn't imply that I'd like a relationship with her. I don't like those long-committed romantic relationships at all, or all that dating stuff.

All of this is extremely weird, but also shows how the human mind, especially when it comes to sexuality and feelings of love is capable of being extremely multifaceted. My sexuality is certainly one of the most complex things I have ever analyzed.

So, at this point....to what extent am I an exclusive pedophile? It feels like living adult girls would just be some kind of exception, as it's not what I really like, while living children is what I normally look at when I'm outside or something.

IIs it possible to be something like 80%, 90% exclusive in a paraphilia? Like not 100%, but still exclusive.

Sexuality is irrational, and only seems rational when there's no need to question it. When a relationship dovetails with cultural expectations, we have no reason to contemplate any absurdities it entails. Fortunately, comedians do a good job of exploring these; there's plenty of comedy centred on the tensions of married life.

I don't get my sexuality, and it's a lot simpler than yours. Somewhere, in a parallel universe where this might be acceptable/legal/not harmful (hard to imagine), I'm sure you could enter a sexual relationship with a young girl, find yourself falling in love with her during her teens, marry her when she hits 18 but instead of kissing the bride slit her throat, then spend the rest of your life sitting by her grave eating sandwiches and sipping tea.

I'm guessing that with paraphilias you can have a main one but also you can have other lesser paraphilias which you spend at least some time thinking about.

ctithe wrote:Sexuality is irrational, and only seems rational when there's no need to question it. When a relationship dovetails with cultural expectations, we have no reason to contemplate any absurdities it entails. Fortunately, comedians do a good job of exploring these; there's plenty of comedy centred on the tensions of married life.

I agree, but even the so-called "normal sexuality" has its own irrational side, in my honest opinion.

Somewhere, in a parallel universe where this might be acceptable/legal/not harmful (hard to imagine), I'm sure you could enter a sexual relationship with a young girl, find yourself falling in love with her during her teens, marry her when she hits 18 but instead of kissing the bride slit her throat, then spend the rest of your life sitting by her grave eating sandwiches and sipping tea.

This one made me laugh lol. Well, this scenario encompasses both pedophilia and necrophilia in a way, even though murder of any sort is not contemplated in necrophilia.

KevinG31 wrote:I'm guessing that with paraphilias you can have a main one but also you can have other lesser paraphilias which you spend at least some time thinking about.

Yeah I believe so too, but I find it hard to define what's my main one. What's my main one? Pedophilia immediately comes to my mind, but necrophilia is just as strong.
Sadism, and the desire to control is strong too. Hematophilia maybe is the weakest one here, but it's still very present in my fantasies.

Whatever. This is some messed up stuff here. Sometimes I feel like the more I try to figure out more about my paraphilias, the more I get stuck and find things confusing.

ya what a combo of paraphilias to have. pedophilia is my most active paraphilia and sometimes I get necrophilic thoughts about boys =/ its weird to me that I get these thoughts I think.

Because of this topic, I decided to register. I am a member of a pedo board in country where I live but I have not ever talk with anybody who has such a combination since it is not so usual.

ElKahn, do not worry, it is not as weir as you might think. I am exclusive homosexual pedophile, I would call it the main part of my sexuality. But there are also other parts of it - sadomasochism and necrophilia, all about boys 4-13, which is my age of attraction.

All of this is extremely weird, but also shows how the human mind, especially when it comes to sexuality and feelings of love is capable of being extremely multifaceted.

Oh yes, it is weird. I am a guy who loves children on an emotional level too, my dreamjob is to work in pre-school education and I am working with children in my free time but hell it is weird when there is something like "this boy would look great if he was dead" going on in my mind. I have not ever fall in love to a corpse, I cannot even imagine that, but if I went back to my past, I could not imagine falling in love with alive boy and then it happened.

its weird to me that I get these thoughts I think.

It is weird for me too. These thoughts usualy make me anxious and I am not really comfortable with them. And it is same with sadistic tendencies. I think it is all about working on ones belief system.