Hi all,
I've been good friends with someone who has PPD and we've been living together for nearly 2 years. We did pretty much everything together at the start, including working in the same department. I loved coming home from work and chatting for hours on end with her about life and people and then going out at weekends and socialising.
It's taken me up until the past month to discover what it is that's been troubling her and subsequently, troubling me too!
I'd dismissed all of her strange personality traits and unusual behaviour - most of the time, blaming myself and feeling guilty for ways in which I'd spoken to her - thinking that I could've said or done different. Doubting myself the whole time.
Progressively, her condition had gotten worse and more obvious. We'd fall out frequently; she'd hold grudges and blame me for things that wasn't my fault. When I'd sat her down on a couple of occasions to tell her how much her behaviour was upsetting me, she'd seemed to take it all in and cried as she's extremely sensitive. I'd thought I was getting somewhere with her.
It didn't last, however, and she'd continually wait for me to put one toe out of line and then pounce. Nothing I could say or do was right with her. Even if I did something completely innocent that didn't involve her (and quite often, this was the case) she'd somehow manage to turn it all back round on her as if everything I ever did was solely to get at her.
In the past, I'd withdrawn and apologised to her on several situations just to keep the peace but it would just go in one ear and out the other. Our other flatmate has expressed that we need to help her because she's getting worse and she's beginning to lash out at waiters for topping up her friend's glass and not hers- believing that he was excluding her deliberately.
Question is...how? How on earth do you live with someone who is suffering so much and is going through so much emotional, internal anguish and pain? I've tried desperately to understand her and empathize with her but she doesn't want to talk to me anymore and we've started avoiding each other. Recently, I'd gotten a new job so I don't have to see her at work everyday but we still live together.
I need to know how to talk to her or at least be civil towards her. She doesn't trust doctors so suggesting she sees a therapist is almost out of the question. I have to walk on eggshells around her and I dread coming home from work everyday so any advice is most welcome!
Thank you for taking the time to read this
xAx